


Is This a Crime?

by Loreak



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, Frenemies, Games, Negotiations, Raquel and Alicia at the academy, Slow Burn, Smut, Truth or Dare, flashback scenes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:27:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23837554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loreak/pseuds/Loreak
Summary: Raquel und Alicia seem to be perfect enemies. But they haven't always been opponents.This story follows young Raquel and Alicia during their time in the police academy.
Relationships: Raquel Murillo/Alicia Sierra
Comments: 279
Kudos: 250





	1. Alicia

**Author's Note:**

> I named this story after Najwa's song "Crime". If you don't know it already, I strongly recommend checking it out! I am always absolutely blown away by this live performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2NU8H2UP8E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Ludka, who read this chapter first and helped me sort my thoughts. <3

_“Luis. Call her.”_

_Raquel turned to Sergio and their gazes crossed. His eyes were a reflection of her own fear._

_“I sent her to interrogate Ánibal Cortés”, Prieto’s voice rang in her ears. She had automatically stopped to listen properly. She knew who he wanted them to call._

_“Call her.”_

_Raquel breathed out and Sergio looked at her for… what? Reassurance? Support? Raquel couldn’t tell and she was too caught up in her own thoughts._

_Then Tamayo’s voice. “I want the queen of all bitches here. Get me Alicia Sierra. Get her on the phone now.”_

_Raquel closed her eyes for a second. That last piece of hope that had hung in the air vanished into the void. They had suspected it all along. She had been sure they would call her in. But still, as she looked to Sergio she felt the blood leave her face._

_“It’s her”, Raquel said, defeated._

“Who is she?”

Raquel was too caught up in looking for her pencil than to care about the fingertips that were constantly pricking her right shoulder and probably leaving nice blue marks for later. Then she felt a slap on her shoulder.

“Hey!”

It wasn’t curiosity but rather impatience that made her lift her head.

“Just look at that girl for a second”, Leo said.

Raquel sighed and abandoned the search for her pencil. He was not going to stop until she looked at the latest person he fancied.

“Which one?”, she asked, trying to keep the nuisance in her intonation to a minimum.

“Red hair, ponytail.”

He motioned across the room and Raquel’s gaze followed his index finger.

Leo had a good taste in women, she had to admit that – solely with regard to outward experiences though. Raquel never made an effort getting to know his friends with benefits, as she liked to call them. Leo hated that expression. He loved beautiful people and he loved beautiful encounters. In fact, he was in love with living. He and his partners always seemed to share a mutual understanding to enjoy the evening together, even share a decent wine and let the night die away with the pleasure of sexual intercourse. There was nothing disgusting or indelicate about it, and certainly nothing meaningless. It was a celebration of life.

“What do you think?”

Raquel squeezed her eyes together. The woman was animatedly talking to a group of fellow students. Her fiery red hair was resting on her shoulders and shifted ever so slightly with each gesture that she made. Every once in a while Raquel could see her piercing eyes fixate on another person when listening, but it was clear that she was the leader of this conversation. She certainly looked anything other than a dull person but something about her made the word ‘unapproachable’ pop into Raquel’s head. She couldn’t put her finger on it.

“She’s completely out of your league”, Raquel replied, somehow feeling the need to tease her best friend.

Leo groaned. “Oh, come on. There’s no such thing as leagues. That’s like saying some people are more valuable than others.”

“Alright, I will take that back. I will say though that she doesn’t seem like the type of person that would engage in anything more than friendship at her workplace. You don’t shit where you eat, you know?”

Leo pulled a face at the expression.

“Oh, how would you know?”

Raquel shrugged. “I am good at reading people.”

“Ah, I get it, first day at the academy and you think you’re a psychologist”, Leo teased.

Raquel slapped him. “Stop it.” Leo just laughed at her so she leaned closer and whispered “But she’s still way out of your league.”

“Hey!”

“I am sorry”, Raquel chuckled and warded off his slap just in time. “I really am. I am going to stop. Let’s enjoy this. First day at the academy, you and me both got in. Let’s enjoy it while we still can.”

“I think I’m going to talk to her later”, Leo said as if he hadn’t listened to her.

Raquel rolled her eyes. “Knock yourself out.”

She turned to look at the woman again. What was it that was so captivating about her? Raquel couldn’t name it. She observed her laughing. Raquel wondered what her voice sounded like.

_“Professor.”_

_It sounded like a melody. What was simply a title had suddenly been composed into a musical leitmotiv, carried by Alicia’s voice. It was raspy from years of smoking and yet it sounded light. A contrast that equally mirrored her personality._

_Raquel rolled her eyes. They were only at the beginning of a tenacious game of chess. And that woman was ready to win. But Sergio was a chess player as well._

_“Inspectora Sierra? What a joy! I was looking forward to talking with you.”_

_“Yes, I know you like to negotiate with police women.” Raquel felt a stinging in the stomach region. “Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m wearing?”_

_Touché._

_“I imagine maternity clothes.”_

_Ha._

_“Oh, how old fashioned you are. Are you one of those men who wear undershirts?”_

_“Actually, I am, but …Inspectora, the classics never die. Don’t you think? Alas, you can look like Pablo Escobar with an undershirt or like Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire.”_

_“Tell me, then. Have you ever recorded yourself making love?”_

_There. That sting again._

_Sergio laughed. “Let me think…”_

_That’s when Raquel touched his shoulder, gesturing before his eyes. Cut it out._

_“No, the truth is I haven’t. I guess I’ve always had qualms about it because I’m a shy man.”_

_“In that case, I can help you. Raquel! You’re listening, aren’t you? Raquel?”_

_She took a deep breath. Sergio shook his head._

_Raquel pressed the button._

_“_ H _ola Alicia, cuanto tiempo_ _."_

 _She detected a laugh in the reply. “_ _Cuanto tiempo, sí.”_

“What an amazing time we’re living in”, Leo said as he rolled down the car window and let out a cry of joy. David Bowie’s voice emerged from the rattling car radio as they entered a tunnel and Raquel tuned the volume down trying to mute her best friend’s enthusiasm as well.

“Woohooooo!”, shouted Leo through the open window.

“Calm down, amigo, it’s eight o’ clock in the morning. People are already staring at us.”

Leo let himself sink back into the car seat. “But life is so good”, he grunted and raised his voice again. “Life is so good that I want to scream.”

“Please don’-“

He screamed.

Raquel shook her head and let herself get wrapped up in the morning traffic. She loved this time of the day. Everyone was beginning something new. New day, new chances. New possibilities.

Leo cranked the window back up and it sounded like the car had suddenly been wrapped into cotton.

Raquel shot him a quick glance from the side. “Are you done?”

“Yes.”

He seemed extraordinarily content with himself.

“So…”, Raquel started. She was too curious. “You met up with her yesterday?”

Leo nodded.

She waited for another five seconds. Nothing.

“How was it?”

He raised his eyebrows. “You never ask me about that.”

Raquel shrugged “I want to know if I was right.” She thought of her first impression of the red-headed woman. “How is she?”

“Very intense.”

“I can imagine.”

“Very lively.”

Raquel nodded. “Alright.”

“Also… soft?”

She raised her eyebrows.

“I can’t imagine that.” Raquel drove onto the parking lot. “Yesterday when we practised negotiations for the first time she basically neglected all the rules and proceeded to threaten the hostage taker.”

Leo laughed. “Yes, she is daring.”

“It was like she was an entertainer. Not a serious negotiator.”

“But it was kind of funny, don’t you think?”

Raquel’s eyes focused on the rear mirror and she parked the car in a smooth movement. “Maybe. I can see her flirting with a hostage taker.”

“Instead…”, Leo said. “She was flirting with me…”

Raquel applied the handbrake. “Really?”

“No.”

She turned to look at him and he simply shrugged his shoulders.

“No?”

“No. Nothing happened.”

They got out of the car. People were gathering on the parking lot and chatting before class began.

Raquel tilted her head and smirked. “Did she say you were out of her league?”

“No”, Leo objected. “She doesn’t start things with colleagues.”

Raquel slammed the car door. “Told ya.”

“Yes, you were right. Are you happy?”

“Maybe a little.” She checked her watch to verify there was still enough time for a smoke but Leo was far ahead of her, already holding out his cigarette for her to light it.

That first puff felt like a wave of calmness.

“So what makes you so cheerful this morning? Basically all of Madrid could hear your.”

“I don’t always have to sleep with a person to be cheerful.” He smiled. “It was a great evening. We cooked together at my place, drank some wine, talked. Then she made it clear to me that her intentions weren’t to engage in sex with any of her classmates. And then she left.”

“Mh.” Raquel watched the cigarette smoke vanish into the air. 

“Yup. We had a nice evening. But that’s it.”

Raquel leaned against her car. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Because she’s coming over.”

“Ah, shit.”

The woman was for certain headed in their direction.

“Hola”, she said.

Raquel nodded.

“Have you got a light?”, she asked and held out her cigarette. She sounded bored.

“Sure”, Raquel replied but she grinned inwardly. A fellow smoker in need.

“Thanks.” The woman puffed at the freshly lit cigarette. “See you around.”

She nodded to Leo and he mumbled something that was inaudible to Raquel.

“Soft, huh?”, Raquel asked as they watched her walk away.

Leo shrugged his shoulders. “Mh.”

“What’s her name anyway?”

He took a long drag on the cigarette. “Alicia.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Alicia still has the same hairstyle.


	2. Jealousy

_It was hot. The car sped across the country and Raquel would have given everything to open a window and let the airstream cool her face. But the windows of this vehicle were not supposed be opened. Prisoners didn’t deserve this luxury._

_Raquel stared at the black mask and the helmet in her hands. This all felt a little bit too familiar. The car, the uniform, Ángel sitting on the bench across from her._

_But she had switched sides. And soon she would be faced with the impact of her actions. Ruthless police officers, only waiting to see the ex-inspectora who had turned their back on them on her knees. They felt in the right, simply on the basis of the authority given to them by the state. Completely in accordance with its ideology. Raquel closed her eyes. She had once felt this sense of belonging too. Three years in the academy sufficed in order to indoctrinate young impressionable beings into preaching the values in unison. Values that she now condemned._

_The car came to a halt._

_As she entered the tent all eyes turned towards her. People interrupted their tasks and stood up to watch her. But Raquel had eyes only for one person in this room. And that person had been expecting her. Their gazes met from across the room and Raquel inwardly cursed her heart for jumping. How long had it been? She set in motion to cross the distance between herself and the woman who had now taken her place, who in fact had taken so much more of her than just that._

_It was a curious setting. More than twenty police officers serenading her as she walked towards the devil’s altar. At the end of the aisle – Alicia._

_She did something unexpected. But then again, maybe unexpected had always been Alicia’s normal. The first thing she did was to raise her arms and point at her pregnant belly. “Can you believe it? Me, pregnant? Who would have thought, huh?”_

_Keep your cool, Raquel thought to herself._

_God, it was so hot._

_“Congratulations.”_

_“Thank you.”_

_Raquel nodded. This was going to be a long day._

“Congratulations”, Señor Ruiz called out. “What Señorita Murillo said is in fact correct!”

Raquel put on a serious face but in reality she had a hard time not showing her contentment. So those extra hours preparing for criminology had eventually paid out.

Beside her, Leo faked a cough. “Nerd”, he pressed out.

Under the table Raquel boxed him in the rips and both had trouble suppressing their laughter. Señor Ruiz had already moved on to the next topic and as Raquel turned to look at the chalkboard again she saw that someone two rows in front of her had turned towards them and was quietly observing. When their gazes met, Alicia didn’t shy away from the confrontation. Her eyebrows were slightly raised and for a brief moment Raquel felt attacked by what seemed to be a look of judgement. Then Alicia averted her gaze and turned her focus on the class again. Raquel was left with an uncertain feeling.

“So”, Señor Ruiz continued. “We’ve established the term ‘criminology’. But what exactly is a crime?”

Raquel stared at the ceiling, brooding. Sometimes the questions that sounded easiest were the hardest to answer.

Leo raised his arm. “An actions that violates the criminal code.”

Señor Ruiz nodded hesitantly. “Yes… and no. Does anyone have an idea why this definition is insufficient?”

She raised her hand so slowly, almost bored, that it seemed like she wasn’t in any rush to answer the question. The whole manner had something conceited about it.

“Yes, Señorita Sierra.”

She took her time, barely adjusting her posture, before answering.

“If we define a crime as an action that violates the criminal code, there would be no crime without it. Contrary to that, there are actions that are considered morally reprehensive by all cultures in all times and thus, would qualify as crimes. So we’re talking about _delicta male per se_ as distinguished from _delicta mere prohibita._ ”

Now Raquel was the one who raised her eyebrows.

“Yes, very good, Señorita Sierra. We have to make a difference between what the criminal law defines as a crime and what has broadly been defined as a crime throughout years of socialisation.”

Alicia leaned back in her chair, playing with a strand of her red hair. Raquel hadn’t thought her to be so smart. How deceiving first impressions were.

“But what definition of a crime should we as police officers act on, Señorita Sierra?”

Again, she took her time but Raquel thought she could discover a light smirk on her lips.

“I am not sure”, she started. “It’s a tricky question, isn’t it?”

“Are you questioning the law?”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

Raquel held her breath.

Then the bell rang.

“Class dismissed”, Señor Ruiz said. “Very good lesson for today, see you next week.”

It was strange how quickly customs seemed to establish in large groups like this. After just a few days, lunch break had already been transformed into smoking break. No matter how cold the autumn wind was, students were gathering on the parking lot and in the patios to slowly burn their lungs away. Raquel secretly liked that development. She was fascinated by the fact that so many different people were able to agree on a simply activity like this one, without actual communication, just by group dynamics.

“So, Señorita Murillo”, Leo started, quoting Señor Ruiz in a low and raspy voice. “What is a crime?”

Raquel laughed and looked him up and down. “I think it’s a crime that you’re still wearing those pink trousers you bought in ninth grade.”

“You mean this stylish piece of clothing?”, Leo said and posed a few times.

Raquel laughed. “Come on, they’re more than five years old!”

“Oh no, you’re not taking these from me, Señorita. Not my pink trousers.”

“Alright”, Raquel said. “Then you might like to consider pursuing the career of an archivist. You’ll work in a dark cellar under the earth where no one has to endure the sight of these trousers.”

“Says the one with the nose stud.”

“No, that is just cool!”, Raquel stated.

“Uh uh, it’s the reminder of a major flop. You wanted to rebel against your parents by getting it and in the end your mom found it cooler than you did yourself.”

Raquel pulled a face. To her disappointment, he was right.

Leo lit another cigarette. “Nah, I don’t see myself as an archivist. Switch the gloves for a gun and then we’re talking.”

“Ah, so you want to catch the bad guys in action.”

“Sure. We could be working as a badass duo. You figure out who the criminals are and I arrest them.”

Raquel’s eyebrows shot up. “Why do you get to catch the bad guys?”

“Mainly because I’m not smart enough to work out who they are. I need you as my brain.” He tapped his index finger against his temple.

Raquel laughed. “You have already given this a lot of thought, haven’t you?”

Leo nodded and his eyes glowed mischievously.

“Imagine being called on your day off because you’re the best person for the job.”

Raquel pursed her lips. “Then you’ve probably made it.”

In the afternoon, they had Physical Education. Raquel noticed that she was nervous when she stepped onto the sports ground. Scoring with intelligence was easy, scoring with physical competence not so much. It wasn’t that she wasn’t athletic. But compared to several giant police men in training you always looked like the odd one out.

“Alright”, their trainer began. “Today we’ll start with a light circle training to see where you stand. Pick a partner and we’re ready to go.”

Raquel had just finished tying her shoes, stood up and automatically looked for Leo. When she saw him amidst her classmates he had already teamed up with a partner. Alicia was standing next to him, laughing at one of his silly impressions. Then they made their way towards the equipment.

Okay. Great.

“Hey, want to be my partner?”, a voice came from behind.

As Raquel turned around she looked into a friendly looking face. “Sure. I’m Raquel.”

“Valentino.”

They started training and quickly found a tempo that worked for both of them while still being able to talk to each other. It was interesting to talk to a fellow classmate and find out how truly different people’s lives had been before they were all thrown together in one class. While Raquel had been raised in Madrid and knew the city like the back of her hand, Valentino was from a small town in the Basque country. He got lost three times on his way to the supermarket and Raquel laughed so hard at that that she had to stop her set of sit-ups for a minute. Maybe PE wasn’t half bad.

A whistle interrupted their talks. “Alright, that’s almost it for today. Finish off with ten laps and you’re free to go.”

Everyone set off in their own tempo but soon Raquel found herself next to Leo.

“Hey.”

“Still alive?”, Leo asked at the sight of Raquel’s red face.

“Barely.”

Suddenly someone rushed past them.

“Eh Leo, are you already breaking down?”, Alicia called over her shoulder.

“You wish!”, he exclaimed but she was already several meters ahead of them. Man, she was fast. And really athletic from what it looked like.

Leo laughed to himself.

All of a sudden, Raquel felt a hint of anger rising in her chest. “What’s up with you two?”, she asked.

“What do you mean?”, Leo asked breathlessly.

“Are you flirting with her?”

“No. She turned me down, remember?” Leo was quiet for a second. “Does it matter?”

Raquel didn’t reply. She regretted having said anything at all.

“Raquel, what’s going on?”, Leo pressed on. “Are you jealous or something?”

“No. God, no.”

“Wow, thanks.”

Raquel laughed. “I mean no, I’m not. Sorry.”

They jogged beside each other for a while.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know”, she got out. “I feel like there’s this tension.”

Leo was quiet for a second but Raquel didn’t know if he was thinking or just catching his breath. “Between you and Alicia?”

Raquel hesitated. “Not exactly. Between… everyone. I mean, I get that we’re all in the same position right now but these three years, this is where our future gets decided.” It was the seventh lap and she was panting now. “We’re all testing out who the others are. If they’re any good. If they’re better than us. These people here might as well end up being our colleagues later. Or our superiors. Our inferiors. Who knows.”

She could sense Leo watching her from the side.

“What does that have to do with her?”, he finally said.

“Nothing.” She sighed. “I don’t know. Forget about it.”

“Raquel”, he said. “This is our first week. Calm down.”

Raquel groaned lightly. “You don’t get it. You’re not competitive at all. You just do your thing and end up succeeding after all.”

“Raquel, you’re were basically top of the class earlier. Chill!”

She didn’t answer. She didn’t want to continue this conversation. Sometimes you say the things you thought you were feeling but when they come out of your mouth, they feel like stranger’s sentiments. And this was not at all how Raquel had intended this to go.

“I didn’t think you were that competitive either”, Leo added and started his sprint. Raquel let herself fall behind.

“Me neither”, she mumbled.

She nearly sprinted the last couple of laps. She couldn’t wait to shower off the sweat and whatever was bothering her with it. If she could just put her finger on what it was. She caught up with Leo in the hallway to the showers.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t know what just got into me. Forget what I said, it was stupid.”

Leo simply shrugged. “Alright.”

The hallway was filled with people. Everyone wanted to shower and get out of here as quickly as possible.

“Raquel!”

Valentino fought his way through the masses but didn’t quite make it to where Raquel was standing so he gave up and shouted instead.

“Do you want to meet up after this? Show me Madrid so I don’t get lost again?”

Raquel laughed and gave him her thumps-up.

He returned the gesture. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

She nodded and made her way towards the showers. Maybe all this wasn’t so bad after all.

When she closed the door to the showers the noise suddenly disappeared completely. Only one other person was in the women’s communal showers – Alicia. Raquel quietly entered and hastened to wash her hair. Only as the guys’ laughter transmitted through the wall it struck Raquel like lightning. They were the only female students in their class. Subconsciously Raquel had picked Alicia to compare herself with.

Competition is always hard when you’re a woman in a men’s world but it peaks when you find the person that resembles you the most.

In this moment, Raquel hated her brain for being that way.


	3. Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to Ludka for her support. ❤️

Raquel kicked against the lamppost with her left foot. Stupid, so stupid! Why had she agreed to this? When Leo had told her about it the idea had sounded like so much fun. It was a custom in the academy that annually the freshmen were greeted with a surprise hunt á la police vs. criminals. The seniors always organised an entire spectacle on campus in which the newbies were divided into two groups: predator and prey. Raquel liked the hunt, liked to have the upper hand, but as luck had it, her lot had decided she would be a criminal _._ Just as well, she had thought. Outsmart your enemy and don’t get caught. Easy. Now she was bound to a lamppost, her hands cuffed behind her back around the cold metal pillar. There was no escaping unless she wanted to dislocate her wrist joint. She had seen that in a movie but right now might not be the best moment to try that out. _Damn you, Leo_ , she thought and kicked against the lamppost again to give vent to her anger. Of course he got to be in team police, got to hold the fancy albeit fake gun and wear a proper bullet proof vest. And of course he had used the first opportunity to catch his best friend, drag her across campus and leave her tied up in the middle of a large square. “Ciao, bella”, he had shouted and run off after the next criminal. This wasn’t even how the game worked. The police were supposed to gather the criminals at the sports hall where the after show party took place but of course Leo didn’t care to execute things properly. He’d rather mess around.

Raquel sighed. The wind carried the music from the gym to her ears but in the square it was quiet. It got darker and darker which meant that the streetlamp served as a convenient spotlight for anyone to see that she had been caught. Five weeks into academy and she had already made a fool of herself.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching and a second later someone had covered her eyes from behind. Raquel gasped.

“Calm down”, a voice whispered against her ear. “It’s me.”

She relaxed at the sound of that voice.

“Valentino, thank god”, she let out and he went around her so that she could actually see him now. He was dressed in a police uniform that he seemed to be wearing quite proudly. His lips curled up into a mischievous grin.

“Care to help me out here?”, Raquel breathed out and pulled at her handcuffs which made the lamppost sway dangerously in the air.

He shrugged but his eyes glowed. “Depends.” He put on a serious face. “Where are your accomplices?”

Raquel raised her eyebrows. “I don’t know.”

“Oh, criminal and stubborn as well? Why do you think I should help you?”

Raquel had trouble holding her laugh and she could see that Valentino was on the verge of breaking as well.

“Maybe we could negotiate?”, she said playfully.

“You’re a criminal and I’m a cop. What would I possibly get out of that?”

Raquel smirked. “A kiss on the cheek?”

He laughed out loud. “How prude. Don’t you think I deserve more than that?”

“You haven’t proven yourself yet”, she stated.

“Mh”, he made and pretended to think. “That appeared to be different last night when you practically couldn’t keep your hands off me.”

Raquel grinned at him. Ever since the day she had shown him around Madrid the two seemed to click. She was more than happy about the turn their relationship had taken in the past days.

“Alright. I might be willing to negotiate and grant you a proper kiss on the lips. If you prove yourself worthy.”

“Ah, let’s see”, Valentino said and leaned forward. His hand barely brushed Raquel’s cheek but she already felt like being electrified. He came closer and just before their lips could touch he pulled away.

“Hey!”, Raquel protested as she didn’t get the anticipated kiss. How had he managed to turn this situation around so quickly?

“Once a criminal, always a criminal”, he teased and ran away. “See you at the party!”

“This kind of behaviour has been noted and will be punished”, Raquel called after him but he only laughed. That bastard. If he weren’t so damn cute, Raquel would rip his heart out immediately.

_“I don’t know where the professor is or what he’ll do.”_

_I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know._

_It was like a mantra that Raquel kept repeating in her head. It was easy denying an answer the first or the second time. But time was her enemy. Alicia was a gifted negotiator and Raquel knew she would make every effort to break her. It didn’t help that she knew her weak points either. Raquel was a good negotiator as well but in this game she had already gotten the short end of the stick. All that mattered now was to resist. Resist and persevere._

_Raquel had always hated not having the upper hand._

_“You have no ideas? Has love made you dim or something?”_

_Alicia was calm and steady. As so often, Raquel had no idea what was going on in her head in this moment._

_Resist and persevere._

_“The plan has different types of firewalls. This has nothing to do with love.”_

_“Of course it has. Think about it. In jail, love drains like sewer water. It happens very fast. In two months, it’s already dry. Two months of suffering or your whole life in jail? Mh?”_

_She sounded like she was talking to a child._

_“If you were reincarnated seven times you’d never understand the nature of our love.”_

_Something was stirring inside her chest. Feelings that surpassed the resentment against the negotiator in front of her. Old feelings that weren’t supposed to come into this._

_“Allow me to tell you about the real nature of your love. One in Soto del Real, and the other in Cádiz, waiting for a conjugal visit once a year. And that’s if you’re lucky because if we don’t catch your sweetheart, then you’ll never see him again in your fucking life. The choice is yours. Either that or actually have the time to be a mother to your daughter.”_

_“You’re trying to emotionally manipulate me, Alicia?”_

_This was wrong. She shouldn’t be comfortable addressing her interrogator by her first name._

_“I’m just telling you the truth. As always.”_

Raquel shifted uncomfortably against the lamppost. She didn’t know how much time had passed but this was getting more unpleasant by the second. From a distance she could hear screams and laughter whenever another criminal had been captured, but so far no one else had cared to pay her visit.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps approaching. Maybe Leo had decided to redeem her from this agony. Raquel stared into the dark night trying to recognize her visitor. As they stepped into the light of the streetlamp, she wished nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow her.

It was Alicia. Great.

She was wearing a police uniform which somehow didn’t look stiff or rigid on her at all. Her red hair was bound into a high pony tail and all Raquel could think was that the entire outfit looked incredibly smart. Why did they all have to be in team police?

As Alicia recognized her she stopped in her tracks. Her lips curled into a grin and she slowly approached Raquel. She felt even more exposed under the streetlamp light now. All she could do was wait and watch her come closer.

Awesome.

She was strolling towards her, casually. Was she wearing high heels?

Two metres apart from Raquel she stopped.

“What happened to you?”, she asked, a grin on her lips.

Raquel raised her eyebrows in an attempt to gain some dignity. “What does it look like to you?”

Alicia laughed. “It looks like you’re in quite a predicament.”

Raquel pursed her lips. She was definitely not asking her to let her free.

“What happened? Have you lost your instincts?”

Raquel frowned. “Let’s just say my strengths lie in catching criminals, not in being one.”

Alicia came a step closer. “Ah, but the beauty lies in succeeding in both, doesn’t it?”

Raquel raised her eyebrows.

“Think about it: How are you planning to catch the bad guys if you can’t put yourself in their position?”

Raquel stayed quiet. She had a point.

“Anyway”, she shrugged and looked her up and down. “You don’t look very comfortable. How long have you been tied up here?”

Raquel let the back of her head sink against the lamppost. “I don’t know”, she sighed. “I’m guessing at least an hour.”

Alicia giggled and started circling around her. “That is probably not the kind of fun you had in mind in the beginning of this.”

Raquel didn’t know if she was gloating or trying to be sympathetic.

“Nope.”

Suddenly two warm hands were touching her cold wrists. Raquel flinched. She could hear Alicia snort behind her. “Calm down.”

“What are you doing?”

“Setting you free.”

Alicia slightly jerked at the metal surrounding Raquel’s wrists. Then she proceeded to grab her hand to keep it steady while fiddling around with the cuffs.

“Aren’t you on their side?”, Raquel asked.

Alicia scoffed. “Nah, I don’t do sides. I watch out for myself. And occasionally for others. Especially when they can’t look out for themselves”, she teased.

Raquel was just about to give her a sassy answer when her wrist was turned up in a way that definitely wasn’t natural.

“Ouch!”, she complained.

“Sorry”, Alicia said casually. “Give me a few more seconds.”

Raquel didn’t know what to feel about that woman fiddling around with her hands but a moment later the sound of a lock opening filled the evening silence and a feeling of freedom floated Raquel’s chest. Alicia ripped the handcuffs away from Raquel’s wrists and she quickly pulled her arms in front of her, scared of being tied up again.

“Thanks”, Raquel managed to say as she tried to rub away the pain in her joint and stretched her body, relieving it from the agony of standing in one position for over an hour.

Alicia emerged from behind the lamppost and handed her the handcuffs. “You’re welcome.”

In her other hand she still held a hairpin. Raquel’s eyes widened. That was impressive.

“Raquel, right?”, Alicia said.

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Yes.”

“Alicia.”

Raquel shook the hand that she had offered her. “I know. You dated Leo at the beginning of the semester.”

Alicia nodded. “I wouldn’t call that dating, but yes.”

“That bastard”, Raquel muttered as she remembered that he had left her tied up to the lamppost in the first place.

“Did he do this to you?”, Alicia asked and Raquel nodded.

A mischievous smirk appeared on the red-haired woman’s face.

“Sounds like he deserves payback.”

Raquel’s eyebrows shot up. “What’s your plan?”, she asked suspiciously.

“Give me your hand.”

Raquel tilted her head. “Why?”

“Give me your hand”, Alicia demanded again.

Raquel finally did and Alicia began running, dragging her across campus towards the gym. Her laughter filled the evening air and soon Raquel couldn’t help but join in.

They reached the sports hall and Alicia went in, signalling Raquel to wait outside. It didn’t take long for her and Leo to return. The door burst open and for a short moment you could hear the music that was blasting inside but it got muffled again as Alicia slammed the door shut and pulled Leo to the next streetlamp. Raquel stayed hidden in the darkness of the night.

“What made you change your mind all of a sudden?”, she heard Leo ask.

“Don’t ruin this”, Alicia said seductively and pressed her index finger to his lips while carefully shuffling him against the lamppost.

Leo grinned and raised his hands to put them in her hair and around her waist but she exhorted him.

“Uh-uh. Not so quick, señor”, she said, took his hands and put them behind his back.

That was her chance. Raquel leaped out of the darkness and sneaked up on them from behind. Leo was just about to lean forward to give Alicia a kiss when Raquel snatched both his wrists and put them in handcuffs in a fast movement.

Now he was the one tied to a lamppost, for anyone to see.

As soon as he was immobilized, Alicia let go of him.

Leo gasped in shock, pulling at the metal. “What just happened?”

Raquel joined Alicia in front of him and crossed her arms. “That is payback!”, she announced and both of the women burst out in roaring laughter.

Leo groaned. “That was mean, very mean!”, he complained.

“Yeah”, Raquel shrugged. “But you deserve it.”

Leo smirked. “Alright, alright.”

Raquel and Alicia looked at each other, both with pride in their eyes and gave each other a high five.

“Is this an alternative party or something?”

Valentino had come out of the gym, balancing several shots on a tray. When he saw Leo’s predicament, he had trouble holding it upright.

“I see he’s got his proper punishment?”

Raquel nodded. “That’s what happens if you fly too high.”

Valentino laughed and offered the girls a shot.

“Do I get my promised kiss now?”, he asked.

“Well, you didn’t free me, did you?”, Raquel grinned.

Valentino’s gaze wandered to Alicia. “So you’re the lucky winner of a kiss from the one and only Raquel Murillo?”

“I don’t need bribery in order to do a good deed”, Alicia replied.

“What a shame”, Valentino teased. “So I am the only one left wanting your kiss?”

Raquel shook her head but she smiled. “You idiot, you didn’t even help me.”

He looked at her with puppy eyes.

“Alright, I’ll make an exception”, she said and pulled him towards her to join her lips with his.

“Thanks”, he whispered contently and turned to the others again. “Let’s take a group picture! We’ll always want to remember the night Leo didn’t get wasted because he was tied up to a lamppost.”

Leo groaned in protest but the other three only laughed at him. They positioned on each side of Leo and Valentino pulled out his polaroid camera to snap the photo.

“¡Di patata!”

“Patata!”

Finally, Leo got released from his misery and while the photo developed Valentino distributed another round of shots.

“To an awesome first year,” Raquel said.

Everybody raised their shots.

As Raquel clanked her plastic shot glass with Alicia’s she wondered how ridiculous she had been to feel threatened by her.

“To an awesome first year”, she replied and they smiled at each other.

_“Give me your hand.”_

_Alicia held out her hand over the table. Raquel watched her curiously. Sometimes she just couldn’t look behind her façade._

_“Give me your hand,” she pressed on, her voice slightly raised._

_Raquel gave in. Alright. She wouldn’t get what she wanted anyway._

_Resist and Persevere._

_“How many of your old relationships feel completely meaningless now?”_

_Raquel stared at Alicia. A series of memories flashed before her eyes. Old relationships. Alberto. Valentino. Alicia._

_Raquel wanted to pull her hand away but Alicia firmly held on to it._

_“The same thing will happen with this one, and you know it."_


	4. Negotiations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry for taking so long! 
> 
> Thank you all for the lovely comments you have left in the meantime. Your words really are what we fanfic authors live off so please never hesitate to comment. Each and every one makes me so happy, even if it's just a simple "I loved it". If you are keen on writing more than that, I would love to know what you're favourite parts were :) 
> 
> As always, a huge thank you to Ludka for her kind words and her input. <3

_Raquel stared at the wall. It was their intent to shut her off from the outside world, keep her locked in a small space where she could be controlled, where she could only relieve herself into a bucket. And – maybe worse than that humiliation – where she was left alone with her thoughts. The only constant: Alicia._

_She burst through the plastic curtain with a smile on her face and rested her hands on the table. Her movements had always been full of energy and even pregnant she swirled around effortlessly. Alicia looked down on Raquel, leaning towards her._

_“They just brought us the ambulance you used as a communication centre.”_

_She nodded. That was nothing out of the ordinary._

_“You know who’s examining it?”_

_Raquel stared at Alicia for a moment but then it dawned on her._

_Alicia chuckled. “Alberto, your ex”, she confirmed her suspicion._

_Of course. Of course they would bring him in._

_“He’s not just the best at what he does, he also really wants to fuck up your life a little more.”_

_Raquel proceeded to stare at the wall in front of her. That view seemed like a better choice now in comparison to facing Alicia’s contemptuous expression. This information didn’t change anything._

_“But there’s another option,” she proceeded and Raquel hated that her eyes immediately shot back up to her opponent._

_Alicia took a suspicious look through the transparent curtain and Raquel’s muscles tensed. When Alicia rested her arms on the table and came closer Raquel instinctively leaned back in her chair._ Don’t trust this woman _, she thought._ Whatever she is about to say, it’s not true.

_“I could get in the ambulance before him, before anyone else, and get rid of all the evidence.” Her soft voice echoed in Raquel’s ears. It wasn’t her professional voice anymore. The moment Alicia had refused to take her seat at the table and optioned to approach Raquel from the side, she had overstepped her role as an inspector. Their faces were so close now. Too close. Staring into those deep brown eyes Raquel’s mind ran into danger of travelling elsewhere. She managed to snap out of it. “You’ll find nothing.”_

_She averted her gaze and Alicia’s smile faded. Disappointment was hanging in the air._

_“Joder, Raquel. It’s like you’re new at this.” She stood back up and looked down at her. “There’s always something.”_

_When she left, Raquel felt as helpless as before._

The day after the party a fatigue seemed to hang in the air of the classroom, pushing everyone down like a heavy blanket. Raquel yawned for the third time now and Leo lightly nudged her under the table, signalling her to keep it together. But no one was able to keep it together today. Coffee seemed to be the drinking option number one this morning, though Raquel suspected some had upgraded their drinks and simply continued keeping a certain level of alcohol intoxication in order to postpone that inevitable hangover. Aside from that, autumn had decided to grant them a late summer day and the sun had heated up every inch of the room they were sitting in right now. Oxygen suddenly seemed like a luxury.

“Ok, we’ve covered the basics of negotiation for now, let’s try that out in a practical exercise”, Señor Díaz said and Raquel started to pay attention for the first time. “Get together in pairs and take turns practicing negotiation according to the rules we’ve just discussed.”

Mumbling filled the room as everyone looked for a partner and switched places. Leo pushed his chair around in a dullish manner so that he and Raquel could sit at one table, facing each other. “Alright, let’s do this fast”, he sighed. “I just want to go home and sleep.”

Raquel grinned at the memory of last night. After Leo’s exhilarating experience of getting cuffed to a lamp post he had carelessly drunken one shot after the other. And you could see it. Raquel didn’t exactly feel better than Leo looked but this exercise had awoken her interest.

“Okay, I’ll make it quick”, she teased and it took Leo far too long to react.

“What is that supposed to mean?”, he countered but his outrage was half-hearted. “Oh forget it, just… let’s just…”, he yawned. “Let’s just start.”

Raquel pulled out the sheet they had been given and began to revise the most important rules of negotiation when another person approached their table.

“Scooch.”

It took Leo five seconds to realize Alicia meant him.

“What?”

Alicia rolled her eyes. “You don’t take pleasure in this practice, you’re basically falling asleep while sitting. Go and team up with Valentino over there, so you two can take a nap together.”

Raquel snorted. The girl was a crack.

Leo opened his mouth and Raquel thought he was about to protest but then he closed it again and shrugged. “Yeah, you’re right”, he mumbled, yawned and shuffled away.

Raquel watched him leave. He had definitely hit a new low.

Alicia glided onto the chair without effort. Her hair was neatly coiffed and even her red lipstick was on point. Raquel thought back to last night but Alicia had definitely drunken as many shots as she had. That lucky bitch.

Raquel narrowed her eyes. “What was that about?”

“I need a challenge.”

“What?”

Alicia smirked and leaned forward. “Let’s face it. Even in a sober state everybody in this class sucks at negotiating. The two of us are the only good ones.” She rolled up her sleeves. “It’s more interesting that way.”

Raquel scoffed. “Alright.” She didn’t mind a challenge. And deep down she had caught herself thinking the exact same thing. Alicia would be an appropriate equal.

Raquel took out her pencil case and took her time looking for her favourite pen. In an effortless manner she proceeded to arrange it in her hair so that it resulted in a bun.

Alicia had attentively watched her movements. Her look radiated scepticism. “What’s up with the pencil?”

Raquel shrugged. “I do it to concentrate.”

“Cute”, Alicia teased.

Raquel smirked. “Don’t question my method. It works.”

Alicia’s lips curled into a smile as well. “We’ll see about that.”

The exercise was to negotiate a simple hostage taking. Raquel took the part of the hostage taker calling the police. Alicia was the inspectora.

Alicia pretended to pick up the phone. “Hola, ¿qué tal?”, she said.

Raquel tried to suppress a grin. “I am doing great, thank you”, she responded in a professional manner.

“What do you want?”

Raquel hesitated. “Erm, I think you’re supposed to introduce yourself first”, she said while glancing at the instruction sheet again.

Alicia sighed. “Who cares what my name is when this is a matter of life and death?”

“I don’t know”, Raquel shrugged. “I, as a hostage taker, might care. You’re supposed to gain my sympathy.”

Alicia scoffed. “Alright. Let’s go again.” She straightened up and fixed her ponytail, then pretended to pick up the phone once more. “Hola, ¿qué tal?”

Raquel rolled her eyes. Now Alicia sounded like she was approaching a cute boy in the disco.

“I am doing great, thank you”, Raquel repeated her reply from before.

“My name is Alicia Sierra, inspectora in charge of negotiations. Who am I talking to?”

She raised her left eyebrow as if to say ‘Are you happy now?’ and Raquel supressed a grin.

“The man in charge”, she replied. “How are you doing, inspectora?”

“Man?”, Alicia repeated, looking Raquel up and down.

Raquel shrugged. “77% of all crimes are committed by men.”

“Fine, Señor Murillo”, Alicia joked. 

“How are you doing, inspectora?”, Raquel repeated her question and she could see Alicia immediately slipping into character again.

“I would be much happier if you hadn’t decided to take eight hostages and thereby disturbed my day off.”

Raquel narrowed her eyes. “I don’t think you should anger the hostage taker.”

Alicia threw her hands into the air. “Oh, come on!”

Raquel took in a defensive posture. “I am sorry, but it says so right here: ‘Listen attentively to understand the kidnapper’s psychology. Show empathy towards them and let them know that you understand their feelings’”, she cited the CNI handbook.

Alicia pressed her lips together and took a deep breath. “Alright”, she pressed out. “I would love to chat more with you but I am rather interested to know what it is that you want”, she said in a professional manner.

Raquel nodded. Good enough.

“I think one hundred million pesetas would suffice”, Raquel said coldly.

Alicia raised her eyebrows. “And what makes you think I will simply grant you that wish?”

“You wouldn’t want to be responsible for the death of eight people, would you?”

“I won’t.” Alicia’s voice sent shivers over Raquel’s skin. “Do you know what the sentence for killing only a single human being is?”

Raquel looked at her in anticipation. Suddenly Alicia stood up and leaned over the table. “First of all, – “

“What are you doing?”, Raquel interrupted her.

“Stop breaking character!”

Raquel shook her head. “Are you kidding me? Is this negotiating class or acting class? Just follow the protocol!”

“Oh shut up, negotiating isn’t something that you learn by following a stupid protocol.”

Raquel had almost flinched. The fact that Alicia was still standing didn’t exactly comfort her. For her taste, Alicia was way too close for a person who was mad.

“What are you doing, then?”, Raquel asked.

“Pressuring you”, Alicia explained, as if it were obvious. “Establishing a hierarchy by standing up.”

“You’re not video-calling the hostage taker, you’re on the phone with him. He doesn’t see you.”

Alicia sighed and finally sat down again. “You don’t get it. It may not say so in the protocol but stuff like that is important. It’s like a game!”

“To you, apparently. It just seems to me that you have too much fun playing it.”

“Alright, let’s switch then. Let’s see how well you manage handling a hostage taker.”

Raquel scoffed. “Alright.”

Señor Diaz had observed the scene from across the room and was now approaching them, probably curious what all the fuss was about.

“Hello, this is Raquel Murillo, inspectora in charge of negotiations. Who am I talking to?”

“The hostage taker”, Alicia replied bluntly. “Tell me, inspectora, do you look as lovely as you sound?”

Raquel made a face. Could she be any more obvious about the sexism?

“Why don’t you pay me a visit here at the police station to find out?”

Alicia tilted her head as if to say ‘See, not that easy not to be provocative.’ Raquel ignored it.

“Excuse me, inspectora, you sound a bit agitated. Are you doing well?”

“I am doing just fine, thank you.” Raquel managed to reply in a calm voice. “How are you doing?”

“Magnificent. I wish I could say the same about those hostages I have taken.”

“Why is it that you have called me then?”

Alicia looked her deadly in the eyes. “Give me one million pesetas and I will free the hostages.”

“I am sorry, but I don’t have that amount of money at my disposal right now.”

Alicia slammed her hand on the table, signifying the end of the phone call.

“Ops, one of the hostages just died.”

“What? Why?”

“You immediately denied the request!”

Raquel lifted her hands in desperation. “That’s the first step of negotiating: Exchanging desires and bargaining again and again until all parties are content.”

Alicia leaned back in her chair and stroked her pony tail. “Well, you were too slow.”

“Oh, come on”, Raquel cried out and pulled the pencil out of her hair. At this point, concentrating wouldn’t be possible anymore. “No hostage taker would be that stupid. You have no leverage now!”

Before Alicia could reply Señor Diaz stepped in. “Alright, I think that’s enough. Señorita Murillo, very good job following the CNI guidelines. Señorita Sierra… interesting acting choice.”

With that he proceeded to go to the next pair.

Raquel looked defiantly towards her opponent. But Alicia just smiled.

“Yeah, you won – fair and square.” She leaned forward. “That’s the problem. You played by the rules. But out there…”, she gestured wildly with her index finger. “Out there, sometimes you shouldn’t. Because hostage takers don’t play by the rules. If you do, they anticipate your every move.”

“No one would have saved these hostages with that hostage taker you just played”, Raquel objected.

Alicia sighed, as if Raquel hadn’t gotten the point.

“This way you’re always the teacher’s pet, Raquel. You can pride yourself for now but that won’t get you far.”

The ringing of the bell interrupted them.

They silently got up, gathering their things. This had been the last class before the weekend.

“Do you want to grab something to eat?”, Alicia suddenly asked.

Raquel was taken aback. With how that conversation had went she wouldn’t have thought that Alicia wanted to spend more time together. Raquel, for herself, felt exhausted after the heated discussion.

“Sure”, she replied nevertheless.

Maybe this was just Alicia’s normal.

“Raquel”, Valentino called from across the classroom. “Leo and I are going to cook something at my place. Wanna join?”

Raquel looked questioningly at Alicia. She shrugged.

“Okay!”, Raquel called back.

Eating at Valentino’s turned out to be the most convenient choice. As soon as Raquel left the classroom she felt the tiredness hitting her again. Fortunately, as Valentino lived on campus, food as well as a bed weren’t in far reach.

“Are you guys as tired as I am?”, asked Valentino when he unlocked the door to his dorm.

“I think I’m still inebriated”, Leo replied with that sluggish voice he had used the entire morning.

Raquel supressed a grin and she could see that Alicia was equally amused about the two boys.

“I’m so glad I don’t live on campus”, Alicia stated bluntly as they entered the tiny room. With that she spoke out loud what Raquel had been thinking ever since she had spent the night with Valentino. The room served its needs but it was far from what you’d call pretty or homely.

Still, the first thing Raquel was heading for was the bed. At this moment, she couldn’t imagine a better activity than lying down. The others followed her and soon they were squeezed beside each other on one tiny dormitory mattress.

“And who’s going to cook now?”, Alicia yawned.

“Mh”, came the only response from Leo.

“I think we’ve hit a new low”, said Valentino. He turned to Raquel who was lying between him and Alicia.

“You look very pretty today”, he said quietly.

Raquel grinned. “You too”, she replied although it certainly wasn’t true.

Valentino leaned in closer to give her a kiss but she immediately pulled away. “Ew, Valentino, you stink!”

Leo burst out laughing and Raquel rolled herself to her other side, now facing Alicia who was shamelessly enjoying the scene. Raquel shook her head in disbelief and Alicia smiled at her with sparkling eyes. Raquel chuckled in response while trying to make sense of the woman in front of her. She had been so annoyed during the negotiation practice but there had been something else. She had also found it… thrilling. She closed her eyes, being too tired to further ponder on it, and finally, they went to sleep.

As Raquel woke in the middle of the afternoon, the other three were still silently napping. She realized that Alicia had placed her arm around Raquel’s waist while sleeping. Raquel smiled. When she wasn’t imitating hostage takers she could look very peaceful. Raquel snuggled closer to the other woman, enjoying her warm embrace, and drifted back to sleep.

_It was late and Raquel was tired. Had it been just this morning when she had driven in the van with Sergio? It certainly felt like a lifetime ago._

_Alicia was there again. She placed a sign with the number one – the ones that are used for marking a crime scene – on the table._

_“We’ve got one… ambulance.” Out of nowhere she produced a toy ambulance while imitating the siren._

_Raquel narrowed her eyes. Alicia really should have become an entertainer._

_“Two: The crazy Grandma.”_

_She procured her next requisite: an old lady play Mobil figure. “Where am I? Oh, my back. I can’t”, she cried._

_Raquel raised her eyebrows. Stay unimpressed, she thought._

_“Three: the motherless child.”_

_Raquel pursed her lips. Paula. “_ _Mamá, mamá_ _!”_

_As much as she hated this act and as much as she disapproved of Alicia’s way of interrogating, she had to admit it was working. Raquel tried to stare at the table._

_“Four: El amour du Professor… which won’t last past the second conjugal visit when you’re in jail.”_

_She looked back up. A picture of Sergio._

_Sergio…_

_“And now… the final scenario.”_

_Raquel’s gaze followed Alicia’s movements as she pushed all of the figures off the table._

_“If you cooperate the prosecutor will request 12 years, which will turn into ten. You’ll be out in five. That’s what your life could be.”_

_Raquel couldn’t help it. She was shaking. Hearing these numbers finally made the reality of what she was facing sink in._

_“If you don’t cooperate, 30 years. That’s what your life could be. You decide, inspectora.”_

_The curtain fell. Alicia leaned back as if she had just given the performance of a lifetime._


	5. Friendship

“Now you have to drink.”

“But I told the truth!”, Valentino objected.

Leo laughed at him. “Yes, however, I don’t accept ‘asking for the time between 3.29 and 6.47 o’clock in the afternoon’ as a proper answer to ‘Have you ever committed a crime?’.”

“But it’s true! It’s one of Madrid’s crazy laws!”

“I don’t care. Drink!”

“Drink! Drink! Drink!”, everybody chimed in. Valentino reluctantly picked up his glass and took a sip of his tinto de verano. Raquel knew, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to drink, he merely hated being proven wrong.

They were sitting in Valentino’s dorm room, pre-drinking. Over the past few weeks, it had become a tradition to go clubbing every Saturday and Valentino’s dormitory had proven to be the best option to work themselves to the right amount of alcohol intoxication before the actual party started. No parents and close to the city centre. Today, aside from Leo, Valentino and Raquel, three of their fellow students had joined them and they were sitting on the floor, playing drinking games while waiting for the alcohol to kick in and grant them a good time.

“Raquel, it’s your turn”, Leo said, who had declared himself the game master.

“Dare.” As the only female in this room, she was sick of answering kinky questions about her sexual life.

“Kiss Valentino”, a boy, who Raquel didn’t know well, said.

Raquel smirked. “Easy.”

Leo groaned. “Oh come on, these two can’t even keep their hands off each other without you daring them to do so.”

The boy made a face. Apparently he hadn’t known they were dating.

Raquel looked over to Valentino and seductively raised her right eyebrow. He leaned in to close the distance between their lips and they started kissing. The kiss was longer than it would usually be when people were watching (and wooing like teenagers) but Raquel had already had her fair share of shots and to be honest – she didn’t care. With all the studying that the academy required them to do, she was looking forward to going a bit wild on the weekends. And really, kissing the guy you were already dating certainly didn’t even count as going wild.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and as Raquel pulled away from Valentino she saw someone standing in the doorframe, observing them with an amused expression.

“Alicia!”

“I see the party has already started”, the red-head said and she stepped in while assessing the scene in front of her.

Raquel thought there was a hint of irony in her tone but then again, this was Alicia. There was always that little bit of arrogance in her voice that Raquel never really knew how to classify.

The boys got up, having decided to prepare another round of an awfully tasting cocktail creation they had invented earlier and finally, Alicia sat down next to Raquel.

“You came”, Raquel stated.

Alicia smirked. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to.”

“Well”, Alicia looked around the room. “This is not how I usually spend my Saturday nights.”

Raquel noticed a feeling of insecurity sneaking up. Did she find this immature? Aside from the inauguration party a few weeks ago, Alicia hadn’t participated in any of the typical college activities. Actually, they had never spent time together outside of campus. Maybe inviting her had been a bad idea.

“And how do you usually spend your Saturday nights?”

Alicia shrugged and served herself a bottle of beer from the nightstand.

“Planning world domination.”

Raquel almost choked on her wine.

“Then this isn’t exactly an upgrade. Five half-drunken boys won’t be of much assistance in that matter.”

Alicia grinned. “It’s fine. The plan isn’t supposed to go into motion before 2019. I still got time.”

Raquel shook her head, smiling.

The boys sat back down again, building a circle in the middle of the room.

“Alright”, Leo started and rubbed the insides of his hands together. “New round?”

“We’re playing truth or dare”, Raquel explained to Alicia.

“Alright”, Alicia said. “I’m in.”

“Perfect”, Valentino said. “Finally someone who’s going to spice things up.”

“Oh, I will”, Alicia replied and threw him a playful look. Raquel didn’t like that mischievous grin that started to spread on her face.

“Newcomer begins”, Leo announced. “Alicia, you go first.”

“Truth”, her choice came like a shot.

“What do you really hope your parents never find out about?”, Leo asked.

“The time a troop of the CNI stood at our front door and my brother and I had to explain to them that we weren’t hiding an international criminal on the run.”

It was quiet for a moment. No one could have managed to say that sentence out loud without blinking an eye. But Alicia stayed perfectly calm, as if an event like this occurred to you at least once in a lifetime.

“What?”, Raquel burst out.

“Wait, wait, wait”, Valentino shouted, almost pouring the content of his drink on the floor. “What?”, he simply managed to repeat Raquel’s question.

Alicia shrugged and made a mysterious gesture. At least she seemed to know this was anything but normal.

“Oh come on, you have to tell us what happened”, Leo said.

Alicia smirked. “I guess you’ll have to wait for the next round.”

Everybody groaned. “That’s not fair”, Leo complained but Alicia just shook her head. “Your turn, Leo.”

He grunted. “Dare.”

Alicia set down her beer on the floor and picked up a black felt-tip from the desk. Raquel knew what was about to come.

“A person of your choice is allowed to draw whatever they want on your face.”

“No”, Leo protested. “Are you aware that we are going dancing in less than an hour? I can’t enter a club with my beautiful face butchered!” He dramatically framed his face with his hands.

Alicia held out the pen to him. “Then choose wisely. You could still drink, but I doubt you want to come off as a coward.”

Raquel lifted her eyebrows. Alicia definitely knew how to push his buttons.

That Leo could not stand for. “Alright”, he said begrudgingly and took the pen from Alicia’s hand. He looked across the room, assessing everyone’s faces. “Considering I’ll most likely end up with a penis on my forehead if I choose any of the guys I pick Raquel”, he concluded.

“Don’t be so confident about your choice”, Raquel teased as she got up and took the felt-tip out of his hand. The others chuckled in unison.

Raquel kneeled down in front of Leo, placing the tip of the pen on his forehead. “You won’t be having even a single boring minute tonight”, she stated happily.

Leo scoffed. “At least I don’t have a piece of metal in my nose.”

Raquel gasped. “How dare you”, she said theatrically, but in the past, Leo hadn’t exactly kept his aversion to her nose stud a secret to her.

A minute later, Raquel was done. She leaned back and looked at her work of art. The others moved closer, trying to see what she had drawn. Then everyone burst out in roaring laughter.

“What?”, Leo asked, now suddenly not seeming so confident anymore. “What is it? What did she draw?” He looked at Raquel, furiously. “What did you draw?”

“Have a look for yourself.”

Leo jumped up and ran into the bathroom. It was quiet for a few seconds.

“You didn’t!”, he screamed from the other room.

“Oh, I did”, Raquel replied.

In the blink of an eye, Leo had run back into the room. “’Free kisses?’ Raquel, why?”

Raquel simply laughed and Alicia patted her on the back. “Chapeau”, she said. “Good choice.”

A warm feeling started to spread through Raquel’s body.

“The task was to draw something, not to write an invitation for drunk chicks!”, Leo complained.

“Oh, well…”, Raquel made. “It’s too late now, isn’t it?”

“I can’t go clubbing like that!”

His complaints were met with even more laughter. Nobody cared that Raquel hadn’t exactly followed the instructions.

The round went over in a haze. Everybody got only drunker and Raquel was still so uplifted about the words on Leo’s face that she didn’t even care how it must have looked when Valentino dared her to dance around the room like a chicken.

Then it was Alicia’s turn again and everybody had their fingers crossed for truth, hoping to find out more about that CNI incident.

Alicia flicked back her hair.

“Dare.”

Leo puffed. “I dare you to tell us why the CNI thought you hid a criminal in your home.”

She crossed her arms. “That’s not how it works.”

“I’ve got something better”, Valentino chimed in and grinned at them, pausing for suspense. “I want the two girls to kiss.”

“Oh come on”, Raquel objected. “Take your sexual fantasies elsewhere.”

“It’s how the game works”, Valentino said.

“It’s how your filthy mind works.”

“Uh-uh”, Leo made, who now had it in for Raquel. “It’s only fair. Do it or drink.”

While Raquel had been complaining, Alicia hadn’t said anything. Before Raquel could consider drinking instead of giving in to the boys’ request, Alicia had turned around, put her hand behind Raquel’s head in order to pull her closer and pressed her lips on hers.

Raquel was taken completely by surprise but she didn’t pull back. She let Alicia guide her towards her and Raquel’s initial gasp got muffled by Alicia’s lips which were soft and warm and somehow midway through the kiss, Raquel caught herself closing her eyes.

Then it was over and as Alicia pulled away, Raquel heard the boys’ cheers for the first time.

All of sudden, she felt really self-conscious. When her eyes locked with Alicia’s, she felt not only watched by the boys but also by the woman in front of her.

The doorbell rang.

“That’s Julio, we need to go”, Leo called.

Everybody jumped up and Raquel was relieved not to be the centre of attention anymore. Did her face look as red as it felt? She was way too drunk. What she needed was fresh air.

The rest of the night was a haze. There was loud music, Tequila shots, dancing, more Tequila shots and then finally, they stumbled out of the club – the sun was already beginning to rise – into a taxi and the next thing Raquel knew was that she was sleeping safe and sound.

_That first night in the tent, Raquel floated between sleep and consciousness. Once Alicia had stopped interrogating her for the day and her body demanded rest, pictures and scenes of the past days started to occupy her head. More than ever did she wish to be with her daughter. She thought of the last time she had spoken to Paula, completely invested in the heist, yet so nervous to talk to her daughter, afraid that it would show in her voice._

_“Mamá?”_

_The sound of her daughter’s voice had managed to make her heart jump._

_“Paula,_ _cariño_ _. How are you? What are you doing today?”_

 _“The same as yesterday,_ _Mamá_ _.”_

_She had sounded so absent, so far away, and not only in the sense of actual distance._

_“I’m sure it was something super great”, Raquel had tried. “Come on. Tell me about it.”_

_She had needed to hear her daughter was doing fine. Had needed to hear that she wasn’t the reason her daughter was so distant._

_“I can’t think of anything.”_

_Raquel heart had ached at the dullness of her daughter’s voice._

_“Do you miss me, sweetheart?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“What’s wrong? Are you watching TV?”_

_God, she had felt like an interrogator._

_“No, I’m playing with Grandma.”_

_“Pass me to Grandma.”_

_“Okay”, Paula had said. “Abuela!”_

_Paula’s voice had faded._

_“_ _Hija_ _?”_

_“Is something wrong with my baby? She sounds kind of strange.”_

_“I don’t know. I think she’s fine.”_

_At first, Raquel had felt relieved._

_“Well, when you get home for dinner, you can talk to her, right?”_

_Raquel had tried to suppress a sob._

_“Sure, Mom.”_

_“And don’t forget to buy some bread.”_

_Then the connection had been cut off._

_Raquel snapped out of it. She rubbed her temples trying to concentrate on her surroundings. It was quiet in the police tent. It seemed that Alicia had left for now and the people present were simply watching out for anything unusual._

_Would she ever talk to her family again? The guilt for leaving them behind was weighing stone-heavy in her stomach. And Alicia knew. She knew she was on the right track, using her daughter and her mother to get Raquel to surrender, to break her until she would willingly sacrifice every information about the heist. Alicia knew. But she probably wouldn’t get it. For some reason, Raquel had always been the person who had cared more, who had worried more and had always needed to make sure her loved ones were safe. Alicia, however, usually didn’t let relationships come that far._

Sunday mornings were reserved for late hangover breakfasts. At noon, Raquel and Valentino, who had spent the night together, stood at the intersection, waiting for the gang to show up.

“How did your night go?”, Raquel greeted Leo, as he turned up with a rather red forehead. His skin seemed swollen and sensitive, probably from all the washing and rubbing, but the black writing was still clearly to be seen.

“Don’t”, he warned her. Raquel chuckled. Last night, he had constantly needed to get rid of girls – and a few boys – wanting to kiss him. It must have been exhausting.

“Where’s Alicia?”, Leo asked.

Raquel shrugged. “She said she’d come. Let’s wait a few more minutes.”

Fifteen minutes later, there was still no sign of her.

“I’ll call her”, Raquel said, looking for the nearest pay phone.

“Don’t bother, Raquel”, Valentino said. “She probably just changed her mind, you know how she is.”

“Maybe something happened,” she insisted.

Valentino rolled his eyes. “She is ditching us, that’s what happened. But go ahead and call her, I’ll be waiting in the café.”

With that he was gone. Leo looked at Raquel with a clueless expression, but was she already headed for the pay phone she had spotted across the street.

“Do you have any coins?”, she called to him, searching for cash in her own pockets.

“Nope.”

“Shit”, Raquel called out as she put over the empty pockets of her trousers.

Leo shook his head in disbelief. “How many times have you already stood in front of a pay phone without coins? This is so typical.”

“Calm down, Leo, nobody’s that dependent on phones for communication”, she objected.

“Now what?”, Leo asked, obviously annoyed by the situation.

Raquel narrowed her eyes and made a decision. “I’ll go to her place.”

“Oh come on, she’s fine!”, Leo objected.

“What if she’s sick?”, Raquel said, while heading for the entrance of the metro station.

“She is fine!”, Leo called after her. “How do you even know where she lives?”

“We split a cab yesterday”, Raquel shouted back to him and vanished underground. They could have breakfast on their own. She didn’t care.

Raquel pressed the bell.

For a few seconds there was nothing.

“Who is it?”, Alicia’s voice came through the intercom.

Thank god.

“It’s Raquel. I… You didn’t show up for breakfast. I was worried about you.”

No answer.

Raquel took a step back and looked up the building. Should she leave? Maybe Alicia had actually ditched them on purpose.

Then the buzzing of the door. An informal invitation to come inside.

Raquel pushed the door open and went inside.

Alicia’s apartment turned out to be on the fifth floor of a big house in a rather well-situated neighbourhood. When Raquel had climbed up the last steps of the staircase she noticed the door to Alicia’s flat was already unlocked. She gently pushed it open, both curious to see how Alicia’s flat looked and equally anxious to learn what she would walk into.

It was a small, but somehow spacious, apartment. It was dark because the curtains were still closed, but Raquel could see that there weren’t many pieces of furniture, yet all that were needed. The room Raquel had walked into was painted in white and was equipped – very minimalistic – with plants.

Alicia sat at the dinner table in front of the kitchen unit, dressed only in what appeared to be the shirt she had slept in. Her hair was a mess, as was the table in front of her – the interior of her purse from last night was spread across the surface, together with some tissues and what appeared to be pain killers.

“Hey”, Raquel said breathlessly, standing in the doorframe.

“Come in”, Alicia replied but she didn’t stand up. Her face was pale.

Raquel stepped in and closed the door behind herself. “Are you alright?”

Alicia scoffed. “More or less.”

“Hangover?”

Alicia simply rubbed her temples in response.

So she wasn’t as invincible as she seemed to be.

“How bad is it? Have you thrown up?”

Alicia pulled a wry face. “No, but I feel like I’m about to.”

Raquel raised her eyebrows.

“Don’t look at me like that!”, Alicia said.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re judging me.”

Raquel couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “I’m not judging you.”

She came closer and laid down her jacked and purse on a chair.

“Why did you come?”, Alicia asked. She sounded suspicious.

“Well, you weren’t there for breakfast and I had no cash to call you.”

“So you drove all the way here?” Alicia sounded incredulous.

Raquel hesitated. “Yeah”, she said and realized she sounded as confused as she actually was. “That’s what friends do.”

Didn’t they?

Alicia didn’t reply. Raquel hesitated. All this time, Raquel had thought Alicia was this super popular person, who was too busy, maybe even too good for many things, but now she was doubting that first impression. Did Alicia have many friends? Now that she thought of it, she did seem more like a loner.

Alicia rubbed her eyes and yawned. “You don’t have to stay here. It’s not even that bad, I just need some sleep.”

“I think you need some air and sunlight”, Raquel grinned and went to the window.

“No-“, Alicia made but she had already pulled away the curtains and opened the window, letting the sunlight flow into the room.

Alicia had shrunken together at the table and held her hands in front of her face as if she was a vampire who’d die at the sight of the sun. Raquel couldn’t help but laugh at that picture. “A bit of fresh air will help, you’ll see”, she said.

Alicia slowly withdrew the hands from her face. Now she looked at Raquel for what seemed to be the first time this morning. As so often, Raquel felt observed under Alicia’s stare.

“How come you look so awake and fresh?”, Alicia asked.

Raquel grinned. Was that a compliment?

“I do this every week, maybe my body’s used to it.”

Alicia groaned. “You really don’t have to be here. Please, go and enjoy your breakfast.”

Did she want her to leave or did she simply not want to be a burden?

“Have you eaten anything yet?”, Raquel asked.

She vehemently shook her head. “No. I don’t think I am ever going to eat something again. Or drink for that matter.”

Well, someone was dismal.

Raquel went to the kitchen unit and got a glass of water.

“Here, drink. You need to be hydrated.”

Alicia silently complied and sipped at the water.

Raquel decided that was enough of a sign for her to stay so she sat down on the opposite side of the table.

They sat there silently for a while, Alicia taking small sips of water one at a time and Raquel collecting the stuff on the table and putting it in order to occupy herself. As she was sorting Alicia’s things, Raquel realized she didn’t know much about her. The answers to her questions were always witty, but also always evasive.

“So”, Raquel started. “How do you usually spend your Saturday nights, if not with clubbing?”

Would she give her a joke answer again?

Alicia shrugged but she smiled. “Just to make that clear: It’s not that I never drink or party. I just happen to have a really bad day today.”

“I can see that”, Raquel replied drily.

Alicia pulled a face. “I like to sculpt”, she said eventually.

Raquel was taken aback. “What? Like… sculpting?”

Alicia narrowed her eyes at the stupid question.

“I mean… out of stone and everything?”

“You can use other materials but yes.”

“That’s…”, Raquel started. “Really?”

Alicia laughed out loud but immediately put her hand on her forehead. “Ouch.” She looked back to Raquel. “Really. I know, it’s not a very common hobby.”

“You are not messing with me?”, Raquel asked again.

“No.”

“Where are the sculptures then?”, Raquel demanded to know, looking across the room.

“In the bedroom”, Alicia nodded to the door behind her.

“What do you sculpt? Naked men?”

“Now that’s a cliché”, Alicia said. “All sorts of things. Whatever I feel like sculpting.”

“Can I see it?”, Raquel asked.

Alicia hesitated. “Maybe later”, she said evasively. “Anyway. Because of the academy, I never get to it during the week so I usually spend every free minute of my weekend with that. When I am not visiting my parents.”

“Where are you from?”

“Barcelona”, Alicia replied. “But let me stop you right there, because this kind of feels like an interrogation. Why all these questions?”

Raquel chuckled and shook her head. “I am just having a conversation. Getting to know you better.”

“I don’t know why you would want to do that”, Alicia replied drily and once again Raquel didn’t know if the defensive answer was an attempt to keep her at bay or if it came from a place of insecurity. Thus, she didn’t reply.

“Do you want more water?”, Raquel asked, noticing the empty glass on the table.

Alicia nodded but all of sudden, her expression changed to a look of shock.

“What is it?”

Alicia didn’t reply. In the blink of an eye, she had jumped up from the chair and ran into the next room, which was the bathroom, Raquel figured.

When she got up to see if Alicia was alright, she could already hear the unpleasant noise coming from behind the door. Oh no.

Raquel burst into the bathroom and saw Alicia hanging over the toilet bowl.

She opted to do the only thing you really could do in this situation. Kneel down beside Alicia and hold her hair back while she was barfing her guts out. It wasn’t a pleasant sight - and definitely not a pleasant smell – but Raquel had been through worse and she could empathize with this predicament. Beside her Alicia was catching her breath, clutching at her stomach with the one hand and trying to get a grip on the hair in her face with the other. Quickly, Raquel helped her to get the red strands of hair out of her face, while managing to procure a hair ribbon from a shelf. She had barely finished tying Alicia’s hair into a pony tail when she fitfully leaned over the toilet bowl again. Alicia was coughing and gagging simultaneously while Raquel could only perch beside her and pat her back.

When that second wave was over, Alicia looked up from the toilet bowl, panting. Raquel could see that her cheeks were overrun with tears and instantaneously reached for the toilet paper.

“I think I’m dying”, Alicia said. Her voice sounded hoarse.

Raquel couldn’t help but chuckle at that pessimism. Alicia really had a penchant for exaggeration.

“I think you’re being dramatic”, Raquel proposed while she gently tried to dry Alicia’s face with the toilet paper. Alicia took it from her hand and wiped her mouth. Then she took a deep breath and leaned against the wall.

“That’s probably a more reasonable answer”, she sighed and laughed, a laugh that almost sounded carefree, but definitely genuine and spontaneous.

Raquel shuffled on the floor and leaned against the opposite wall, feeling exhausted herself.

“I like your nose stud.”

“What?”

Alicia grinned.

“Leo mocked you about it yesterday.” She shrugged as if the comment was of no importance. “I like it.”

Raquel smiled. “Yes, he is not very fond it”, she laughed.

“It suits you.”

“Thanks.”

Now, Raquel became aware of the fact the Alicia must have been watching her closely from the opposite side of the tiny bathroom. She guided her glance towards her in return and their gazes locked. Although the tiredness was written on Alicia’s face, Raquel could still make out her defining features. These piercing brown eyes, the accurately shaped eyebrows, that cheeky smile. It was a curious feeling, watching Alicia while knowing that at the same moment she was the subject of her gaze as well.

Alicia clung to the toilet bowl and hoisted herself up. “Alright, I think I am done vomiting for now.”

 _That’s not how it works_ , Raquel thought.

“Can you walk?”, Raquel asked and jumped up to support Alicia in case she staggered.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’ve been told I am simply being dramatic, you know?”, she smirked.

Raquel shook her head as if to scold her. “Well, a person who still makes jokes can’t be that sick.”

Nevertheless, she guided her through the living room to the sofa and got her another glass of water along with some painkillers. Alicia grabbed herself a blanket and snuggled into the soft material. Her initial refusal of Raquel’s presence seemed to have vanished.

“Will you stay?”, Alicia asked, almost as if to confirm Raquel’s thought.

“Sure”, Raquel said. “Can I use your phone? I just need to tell my parents I’ll be back later.”

“Yes, it’s at the door.”

As Raquel put down the phone after the call, she realized Alicia had been watching her.

Raquel raised her eyebrows in question.

“So you live with your parents?”

Raquel sighed. “Yes.” It wasn’t the coolest thing to still live with your parents. “It’s cheaper and more convenient at the moment”, she explained.

“No, I get it”, Alicia said. She hesitated. “Do you… like them?”

Raquel couldn’t help but grin. Was this Alicia’s first attempt to start a conversation? She was way more eloquent when she was interrogating people.

“Yes, I like them”, Raquel replied and sat down on the sofa. Alicia slightly adjusted her posture so Raquel could make herself comfortable at the edge of the sofa.

“Still, sooner or later I would like to move into my own place”, Raquel said and paused. “Well, rather sooner.”

Alicia chuckled. “Are they strict?”

“My mom not at all. She’s a free spirit herself. Most of the time she is more adventurous than I am.” Raquel grinned.

“And your father?”

Raquel narrowed her eyes. “Who is interrogating who now, eh?”, she teased but Alicia only shrugged. “My father isn’t around a lot because of his work”, Raquel concluded. 

She grabbed a cushion to accommodate herself and put her knees up to her chin. “What about you?”

“My parents?”, Alicia asked. “They aren’t really… present at home.”

“That explains the CNI incident”, Raquel joked but Alicia didn’t elaborate. Raquel decided not to push it.

Alicia shrugged. “I don’t mind to be honest. Me and my brother have always kind of done our own thing. We’re independent. I like it.”

Raquel nodded.

“So…”, Alicia started. “You and the boys.”

Raquel raised her eyebrows. “What… me and the boys?”, she repeated the statement.

Alicia grinned. “It’s become a thing in class. You always hang out with Leo and Valentino. Raquel and the boys.”, she repeats.

“Who says that?”

“Everybody.”

Raquel scoffed. “You do realize we’re the only two girls in the class.”

“Fair”, Alicia admitted. “But you and Valentino? Is that a thing?”

Raquel put her arms around her knees. “I… yes. Yes, I think so.”

“Is he good in bed?”

Raquel’s eyes widened. “Alicia!” She definitely hadn’t expected Alicia to question her about her sex life. Then again, she was a reserved person, not a prude. The kiss she had given her yesterday served as proof of that.

“So?”, Alicia pressed on.

“I can’t complain”, Raquel said secretively.

“How’s his stamina?”

“Alicia!” Raquel grabbed the cushion and threw it at Alicia. “Shut up!”

Alicia burst out in laughter. “Alright, alright.”

She took the cushion and put it under her head, leaning against the backrest.

“Are you tired?”, Raquel asked. “Do you want to sleep?”

Alicia yawned in response.

Raquel smiled. “Alright.”

They chitchatted for a little longer and Raquel noticed that Alicia’s voice became quieter and her answers shorter until eventually, she didn’t respond at all.

Raquel adjusted the blanket on Alicia’s body so that it held her warm. She couldn’t help but watch the red-head peacefully sleeping beside her until she too felt the tiredness creeping up and closed her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That law about not asking for the time in Madrid between 3.29 and 6.47 o’clock in the afternoon is apparently a real thing, I didn't make it up. Oh, the irony.
> 
> I will be forever grateful if you leave a comment ❤️


	6. Fight

_Raquel hadn’t been able to sleep the entire night. They had put her in handcuffs and there were only so many ways to sit while being restrained in a chair. She rested her head in her hands, trying to give her mind at least a bit of a break before Alicia came back in, ready for the daily dose of mental torture._

_A bang on the table startled Raquel._

_“It’s six in the morning”, Alicia announced and casually sat down. “The ambulance is in the lab, ready to be searched. In about an hour, Alberto will be there. And like a hound…”, she paused and sniffed the air. “… he will track down the scent of his new prey. Your sweet daughter.”_

_Bitch._

_“Do you think I left her address hanging on the fridge with a magnet?”_

_“I think you’re a guilty mother. Come on. You wouldn’t just leave, do your little heist for a week and not make one phone call. Right? And what about your bad daughter complex? Because your mother… Oof! You can’t leave her alone, not even to eat a popsicle. How did you do it? In the ambulance with the professor… How did you call them?”_

_Raquel pursed her lips. Alicia knew where she could hurt her the most and she hated it. But her efforts would turn out pointless._

“Raquel, phone call for you!”

Raquel laid down her study book on criminology and got off the bed.

As she rumbled down the staircase, she could hear her mother chatting in the living room.

“Oh, really? And what do you think of Leonardo?”

Raquel furrowed her eyebrows. What was that about?

“Right? I loved the scene where they were standing on the ship with their arms spread wide.”

Raquel sighed. Ever since Titanic had come out last week, her mother couldn’t stop talking about it.

“Yes, and he is so good-looking.”

Raquel had been standing in the door-frame for a few seconds when Mariví finally noticed her. 

“Ah, there she is”, she said. “It was so nice talking to you, we should do it again sometime. I am going to hand over the phone now.”

 _Who is it?,_ Raquel mouthed to her mother but she simply gave her the phone and disappeared into the kitchen.

Raquel shook her head and brought the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Your mother is hilarious.”

“Alicia!”

“Hey!”

Raquel got out of the living room and quickly made her way upstairs again.

“Did she talk your ear off?”

“Yup”, Alicia said. “You were right. She does seem more adventurous than you.”

“Wow, thanks.”

Alicia laughed.

“I didn’t expect your call”, Raquel said, lying on the bed.

“Come on, I wouldn’t just leave for Christmas break without making at least one phone call to wish you a merry Christmas.”

Raquel laughed. “Well, you did leave without saying goodbye. I sincerely hope you’ve been racked with guilt ever since?”

“You can officially call me guilty.”

“Well, well… I don’t know if I can simply forgive you”, Raquel teased.

A snicker on the other side of the line. “Let’s see… Press one if you’d like to hear an apology. Press two if you want to wallow in self-pity for a little longer. Press three to get over yourself and chat with your only female friend in the academy.”

Raquel rolled over in bed, laughing. “Alright. I forgive you because of that witty performance.”

“Thank god.”

Raquel was now lying on her stomach and started to play with her hair.

“What are you doing?”, Alicia asked.

“Well, I have been studying.”

“Ugh. Don’t remind me.”

“Have you even started yet?”

“I think I am just going to improvise.”

“That sounds like you”, Raquel joked.

Alicia laughed. “It can’t be that hard to achieve a decent grade… especially considering how many dummies are in our class.”

Raquel shook her head. Sometimes she wished for some of Alicia’s self-confidence. “Have you gotten all of your Christmas presents yet?”

“If you mean the one I got for my brother, yes, I have gotten all of them.”

“What? You’ve only gotten one present?”

“Yup.”

“What about your parents?”

“Yeah… we don’t really do that.”

“You are a curious person, Alicia, do you know that?”

A laughter on the other line. “Yes, I do. But being normal is boring.”

“What about me?”

“Well, I guess you’re not as curious as I am.”

Raquel rolled her eyes. “No, I mean, do I not get a present?”

“Oh.” Silence. “Well… Sure, I’ll see what I can do.”

Raquel chuckled. “I feel honoured.”

“Don’t push your luck.”

“Alright.” Raquel grinned mischievously. “Will you sculpt something for me?”

“I feel like you’re making fun of my hobby.”

“Not at all.”

“Suck it up, Murillo, you are just jealous.”

“How can I, you have never shown me your sculptures. For all I know, you could be hoarding dead bodies in that room.”

“Okay, fair. That does sound like me. Though I would probably do that in the cellar.”

Although Alicia couldn’t see it, Raquel smacked her hand against her forehead. “You are going to make a real great police officer”, she joked.

“Ugh, I can’t wait to come back to Madrid. How is it there?”

“Empty”, Raquel sighed. “Quite lonely, without you”, she admitted.

“And without a certain other person?”, Alicia sang.

Raquel chuckled. “Yes, I won’t see Valentino for another two weeks.”

“That is a long dry spell. I hope you’ve got some nice books to make up for it, if you know what I mean.”

Raquel rolled her eyes. “You suck, Sierra.”

The woman on the other line simply laughed. “I wish I had something to suck.”

Raquel cringed. “Shut up! And hope that my mum isn’t listening in with the other phone.”

Alicia burst out laughing. “She would probably encourage me to go on a limp and seek the next sexual adventure.”

Raquel sighed. “That is unfortunately true.”

The doorbell rang.

“Listen, that’s Leo picking me up for ice skating. Talk to you soon?”

“Sure. Have fun!”

“Thanks.”

“And, Raquel?”

“Yes?”

“Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Alicia.”

_“How did you call them?”_

_“We’ve already thought about all this. Surprising, I know. So you can send Alberto like a dog looking for a bone, but you know you’ll find nothing.”_

_“Hmm.”_

_Alicia leaned back in her chair. She seemed unimpressed._

_“The biggest enemy of the crime isn’t the police. It’s the rush”, she explained. “The motor home was as clean as a morgue. You guys left it sparkling. But the ambulance… you got out of there like you were on fire. There is always something left. Always. A small hair on a pillow, a sock. Then comes the CSI with luminol and ultraviolet light and then…” she banged her hand on the table and Raquel couldn’t help but jump. “… Gotcha.”_

_Alicia moved closer to her. “I repeat my offer. I go in there right now and disappear with the hair that would take us to your mother and daughter, or we wait for your ex and you’re fucked.”_

_The thought of Alberto taking in the space that she and Sergio had shared only a few hours ago sent shivers of disgust through Raquel’s body._

_She leaned forward. “You have nothing. And you’re threatening me with ‘maybe we’re gonna find something’?”_

“Ah, I missed the smell of these dusty halls”, Leo said, theatrically breathing in and out, not without pretending to fan himself some air with his hands.

Raquel grinned. She hadn’t missed these halls but she could still empathize with Leo. That excited feeling of finally being back sent butterflies through her stomach. She observed the crowds of people until she finally saw the person she was looking for.

“Alicia”, she called out but the red-head had already discovered her and boxed her way through the amount of people in the hallways.

“Hey, pretty”, Alicia greeted her and Raquel chuckled before embracing her friend in an enormous hug.

“I’ve missed you”, Raquel said.

Alicia let go off her and looked her deeply in the eyes. “Don’t worry, I am here to beat you at negotiations and then you’ll be sorry for missing me.”

Raquel laughed. “You wish.”

“Did I hear that you missed me?”, a voice came from behind.

It was Valentino.

He took Raquel by her waist and leaned in to give her a kiss.

“Hm”, she made dreamily. “I did miss you.”

Alicia made a face. “I will leave you two alone”, she said and Raquel wondered if she was the only one who thought Alicia looked a bit disgruntled. All of a sudden, she was gone and before Raquel could think about it Valentino smothered her with even more kisses.

In the afternoon they were planning to go out for a late lunch in the city.

“Ah, shit”, Valentino called out as they exited the building. “I forgot my metro card. And I still need to drop off that paper at Senor Ruiz office.”

Raquel sighed. Typical. “Okay, you drop off the paper, I get your card.”

He gave her the keys to his dorm room. “Thanks!” With that he ran off.

“Okay, see you in five minutes”, Raquel said.

“Wait, I’ll come with you”, Alicia shouted, coming after her.

Leo had already taken out a cigarette and sat on the staircase in front of the entrance. “Yeah, sure, just leave me here alone”, he mumbled.

The dorm room was a mess.

“Wow!”, Alicia pressed out. “I thought he only arrived yesterday. How can it already look like a pigsty in here?”

“Just look for a metro card”, Raquel said, randomly searching through stuff across the room.

Alicia groaned. “Men”, was her only commentary.

Raquel searched through the mess on Valentino’s nightstand but she couldn’t find that stupid metro card, until she eventually proceeded to flip over his duvet in the hope of finding something there.

She froze.

She did find something, though it wasn’t what she had anticipated.

Alicia kept on complaining about how untidy this dorm room was, when she finally realized Raquel hadn’t said anything or moved at all in the past minute.

She came to stand beside her.

“Ah”, she said, taking a pen to pick up the condom that was evidently laying on Valentino’s mattress. “You know… I always say the biggest enemy of the crime isn’t the police. It’s the rush.”

Raquel swallowed.

“And apparently, you two couldn’t wait to do it between periods.”

“Alicia, stop”, Raquel objected quietly.

“What? There is no shame in that!”, Alicia joked. “But this”, she pointed to the condom that was still hanging from the pencil. “…this is evidence number one for a horny couple that is still in their romantic honeymoon-phase.”

“It’s not ours”, Raquel pressed out.

“What?”

Raquel took a breath. “We didn’t have sex since Valentino left for Christmas break.”

Alicia let the condom fall back onto the bed.

“And here I thought I was getting better in drawing conclusions from evidence”, she mumbled.

Raquel stared at the condom on the bed. She couldn’t believe it.

“Well…”, Alicia started when Raquel didn’t say anything. “… I never really liked him anyways.”

Raquel scoffed but then she realized her face was twisting against her will. Her eyes filled with tears. Alicia didn’t say anything.

As much as Raquel tried to blink them away, the tears in her eyes finally got too heavy and gravity let them find their way down Raquel’s cheeks, over and over again. Raquel couldn’t help but let out a stifled sob. Eventually, the sight of the condom, laying on the bed, got too much for her. She needed to get out of here, away from the crime scene.

“I need fresh air”, Raquel pressed out and turned around, brushing past Alicia.

As she rushed through the empty corridors she could hear Alicia following her but she didn’t stop. She needed to breathe.

Raquel burst outside, almost gasping for air, her face now filled with tears. In the patio, she didn’t know where to go, so she stopped, panting. Eventually, she decided to sit on the stairs in front of the entrance door. Alicia arrived and sat down next to her. She didn’t try to hug her, just sat there. The patio was almost empty and the only thing that could be heard were Raquel’s uncontrolled sobs which made the situation even more uncomfortable.

“He is not worth it, Raquel”, Alicia finally said.

Raquel gasped for air. “He is not worth it? Are you kidding me?”

“I’m just saying… Don’t waste your time crying about him.”

Alicia wasn’t any help. She only made things worse. “Oh, shut up”, Raquel snapped.

Alicia seemed taken aback. “Why are you angry at me all of a sudden? I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“I get to decide if he’s worth crying about or not!”

“But it’s stupid, it’s just wasted energy”, Alicia tried to explain.

“You don’t get it at all, do you?”

“What?” Alicia shook her head. “Do you really think you would have grown old together, got married, built a house, had a baby? We’re in fucking college, Raquel.”

Raquel jumped up. “How can you even say that? Of course I didn’t think about stuff like that but I still fell in love with him!”

Alicia followed her suit. “He is just a fuckboy, Raquel! Get over him!”

Raquel gasped for air. “As my friend you shouldn’t be insulting me right now but comforting me!”

Alicia took a step towards Raquel. “Isn’t the truth more important?”

“Ah?”, Raquel was exasperated. “And what is the truth?

Alicia looked her deadly in the eyes and lifted her chin. “You get too attached to people. It makes you vulnerable. It destroys you.”

That did it.

“You know what?” Raquel had enough of this. “That is what love is about! Love is about being vulnerable!” She was screaming now but she didn’t care if she attracted people’s attention. “And if you only have one person to buy Christmas presents for you should start asking yourself why. Because obviously, you can let anyone close to you since you’re so afraid of opening up. Obviously, you will never be able to form a strong relationship with anyone, let alone talk about stuff like building a house or getting children.”

“Good!”, Alicia shouted. “Good! Because I don’t need any of these attachments. If you want to throw away your career for a guy and some children playing on the front lawn, do it! But count me out.”

She was unbelievable.

Raquel took a step back. “Has anyone ever told you you’re such a pseudo-feminist, Alicia?”

But the woman didn’t listen.

“Suck it up, Raquel”, she said before hoisting her purse over her shoulder. “You’re pitiful.” She turned around, flicking her hair over, and left.

Raquel sat on the staircase and buried her head in her lap. She wanted to scream. At Valentino, at Alicia, at the whole world. The tears kept flowing and it seemed like she couldn’t do anything to make it stop. Every thought she spent on the events of the past minutes only made it worse.

_“You have nothing. And you’re threatening me with ‘maybe we’re gonna find something’?”_

_God, she was so tired of the negotiations and the mind games. “You know what’s happening?”, she started, going into the offensive although she knew she shouldn’t. “Your pregnancy has you so high on oestrogen that you’ve become the most optimistic woman in Spain. Try not to waste all those hormones. You’ll need them for delivery cause it fucking hurts.” Her gaze wandered to Alicia’s belly. Never in her life would she have imagined that woman to have a little child, to be able to care for a little child, for that matter. “What are you going to do when it comes out?”_

_It was more of a rhetorical question._

_“Is it a boy or girl?”_

_Alicia didn’t show any reaction._

_“You don’t know?” Raquel scoffed. “Poor little child.”_

Valentino could go to hell with whoever he was fucking. And Alicia could go to hell too. Raquel had truly thought she cared. Of course she had always known empathy wasn’t her strong suit but now that they were friends … hell, she had skipped breakfast for her to see if she was alright, had held her stupid red hair while she had been barfing her guts out into the toilet, had covered her with a blanket so she’d be warm while sleeping…

“Aaaaah!”, Raquel screamed out.

She knew she couldn’t sit here forever so she finally went back to their initial meeting point.

Leo was still sitting on the staircase, Valentino beside him, both smoking.

“There you are, finally”, Leo said and jumped up. Then he noticed Raquel’s tear-stricken face.

“What happened? Where is Alicia?”

Raquel shook her head. “Leo, could you leave Valentino and me alone for a second?”

Leo looked confused. “Erm, sure.”

When he had left inside, Valentino got up, opening his arms as an invitation for a hug. Raquel refused. 

“What happened, honey?”, Valentino said.

“You tell me”, Raquel spit out.

“What is it?”

“There was a condom on your bed, Valentino.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, ‘oh’.” Raquel could barely keep her voice steady.

He stayed silent.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Still, nothing.

Raquel took a deep breath. “That’s what I thought.”

She was about to turn around when she thought of something. “Just…”, her voice was trembling. “Who was it?”

He didn’t even look her in the eyes. “Úrsula.”

Great. She turned around, just before the tears were falling down her cheeks again.

He didn’t come after her.

It was over.

Raquel was exhausted. She felt like she had confronted too many people, screamed at the wrong person, and now she was just tired. Going home, moving at all actually, didn’t seem like an option right now, not yet, so she stayed in front of the academy’s building, sitting on the stairs and staring into the distance.

Leo turned up and sat beside her.

“Hey.”

“Hey”, Raquel barely got out. Her voice was raspy from all the crying and screaming.

“Valentino just told me what happened.”

Raquel scoffed.

“I told him to go to hell”, Leo said.

“Thanks.”

Leo moved closer and laid his arm around Raquel’s shoulder. “I am really sorry. I had no idea.”

“Me neither”, Raquel said, trying not to cry again.

“Is there anything I can do for you right now?”

Raquel almost cried at his kind words. Why couldn’t Alicia be like him?

“No”, she sobbed. “Staying here with me is enough.”

They sat there silently for a while. Raquel crying and Leo handing her one tissue after another, patiently patting her back.

“I can’t believe it”, Raquel finally burst out. “I thought he liked me. I thought he…”, she gasped for air. “I thought he was serious with me. I thought he was honest with me.”

“Were you exclusive?”, Leo asked.

“Yes!”, Raquel protested. “Monogamy is still a thing, Leo!”

“Sorry. I mean… you kissed Alicia during that truth and dare.”

“That was a game. That’s different.”

“You’re right. Sorry, I mentioned it.”

She turned to look at him. “It’s alright. Apparently, to him, all of this was a game.”

“What a dick.”

Raquel let out a laugh. “Yeah.”

“Do you want a cigarette?”

“Sure.”

They sat there silently, smoking, and the small gesture of sharing a cigarette made Raquel immediately feel better.

“Come on”, Leo said when they were done. “Let’s take a drive.”

“Where?”

“Anywhere.”

_Raquel tried keeping a straight face whenever Alicia paid her a visit. But in reality, her faith faded with the hour. Sergio didn’t know she was well and alive in the tent, face to face with the enemy and Raquel truly didn’t know what she would do if they actually found Paula and her mother. They had considered this scenario back in the monastery but it was like moving in a circle. It was all about circumstance._

_Right now, circumstance didn’t present her with the best options._

_Raquel rubbed her wrists, somehow trying to ease the pain the cuffs were causing. It didn’t work. If only Sergio knew she was alive. Sergio._

_Against her will, Alicia’s words popped right back into her brain._

_“Sergio Marquina… a real gem.”_

_“I can assure you he’s a lot more fun than that.”_

_“Charming. I know. I psychopath can be a lot of fun. Then there’s your profile.”_

_“Huh. What’s in my profile?”_

_“That you’re the type that gets hooked by bastards like this guy. You idealize them. And little by little, you get smaller and smaller by their side. Then they use you. Manipulate you. When did you lose your instincts, inspectora? Was is before the professor entered into your life? Because Alberto used to beat you up. How does this one humiliate you?”_

_Alicia’s words had hit her right where they were supposed to._

_“First, you use my mother’s Alzheimer’s and now domestic violence?”_

_Alicia had smirked. “Tell me you don’t see a pattern here. Tell me, you never heard your mind going ‘click’ and thought ‘Watch out. This guy could be a real piece of shit.’ Tell me it’s not true.”_

_Alicia lecturing her about boys? Why had this scenario been so familiar?_

I got you last time, Raquel.

_Sergio had apologized for his words but they still hurt._

Then I must be an idiot. Because I thought we had fallen in love.

_They were in love, they were, she was sure of that._

I never asked you to come with me.

_Was she not capable of being a member of the gang?_

She went after you because you’re the weakest link.

_Was she?_

_“What would he do for you?”, Alicia had said. “Would he follow you to an island with his mother and his daughter? Would he follow one of your plans? How many times has a listened to your ideas? Once? Or did you always follow him like a little puppy?” She had shaken her head. “I warned you about Alberto. Complete motherfucker. And I’m warning you about this one.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bear with me.


	7. Apology

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about the delay. This chapter didn't feel right for a long time. Let me know how it feels to you :D
> 
> Massive THANK YOUUUUU to Ludka for proof-reading and discussing the chapter with me. <3
> 
> Enjoy.

Getting up the following day had been hard. Driving to the academy was agony and even Leo wasn’t able to cheer up Raquel. She had barely slept through the night and was certainly not able to face Valentino already – not so soon. If there was one thing Alicia had been right about, it was the “no dating colleagues”-rule. Now, Raquel still had to see Valentino every day and there was nothing she could do about that. She sighed, as she watched the scenery go by. If she could just skip today… and tomorrow… and every day after that. Alicia’s words still echoed in her head from time to time. _You are pitiful._ Was she? Should she blame herself for allowing herself to fall in love with somebody? In a way, that feud with Alicia was worse. It felt… unfinished.

When they got out of the car, Raquel slammed the door shut with a loud bang. Leo flashed her a look that seemed to say ‘Don’t let it out on my car’, but he didn’t dare to voice that thought out loud.

The anticipated confrontation with Alicia failed to appear. They got through the entire day until lunch without even so much as looking at each other.

“… what do you think?”

“Huh?”

Leo sighed, laying down his sandwich. “Raquel, that’s the third time you haven’t been listening to me today.”

“I’m sorry. What were you saying?”

Leo hesitated. “Are you sure you are okay? Do you want to ditch P.E.?”

Raquel shook her head. “No. No, I am not going to miss out on training because of a childish fight.”

“You just broke up! It’s okay to mourn a little.”

Raquel felt caught. She hadn’t actually thought about Valentino at this moment.

“And what’s with you and Alicia? Why aren’t you talking?”

Raquel picked at her noodle salad. “She said some things yesterday.”

“About what?”

Raquel laid down the fork. “I don’t really feel like talking about it.”

“Okay.” Leo looked a bit helpless. “If you do want…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know”, Raquel rushed to assure him. “Thanks”, she added.

“Team up in pairs of two, put on your protective vests and practice – as we discussed.”

Raquel and Leo immediately reserved a practice spot in the tiny gym. Raquel put on her protective vest. Maybe some physical exercise was just what she needed today.

“Ready to fight?”, Leo winked at her.

She grinned. In fact, this class was called self-defence but everyone seemed more keen on the idea of actually training to fight their partner. Raquel wasn’t opposed to that.

“Try me.”

They started off with some simple self-defence moves which both of them already knew. Then, it got harder and Raquel just couldn’t seem to get it right today.

“Want to try again?”, Leo asked, a hint of his unwavering encouragement in his voice.

Raquel sighed but she didn’t protest. She wanted to get this right.

Leo came at her again. Raquel knew what she had to do but her reactions were slow today. Before she could grab his arms and pin him to the ground, he had tackled her, and she found herself lying on her back on a rather uncomfortable gym mattress.

“Ugh.”

“Maybe we should call it a day”, Leo said. “You’re obviously not on your game today.”

He held out a hand to her and she gratefully accepted the assistance.

“I know I can do better”, Raquel said, pulling a strand of hair out of her face. This was frustrating.

“I know you can too.” Leo got rid of his protective vest. “But not today.”

Raquel let out a noncommittal sound. He was right. She hated that yesterday’s events managed to throw her off like that. 

“Señorita Murillo, what was that?”

Great. Señor Sánchez had apparently been watching them. Now he was heading towards them and he didn’t look happy.

“Is this the best you can do?”, he barfed at Raquel.

Raquel was terrified. She never got critique in class. “Sorry, I – “

“No need to apologize. Just learn and do it better. Police men who can’t defend themselves get sorted out quite quickly around here”, he added.

That felt like a punch in the gut.

Raquel looked to Leo for help but he only twisted his mouth in an awkward manner.

“Go again”, Señor Sánchez demanded.

Raquel tried to suppress a sigh while Leo put on his vest again. He tried the same move as before and Raquel could see him coming, knew what he was about to do but she couldn’t coordinate the movements of her body with the thoughts in her brain. Within a few seconds, she was lying on the mattress again. Leo hadn’t even used that much pressure this time and she could feel the failure surrounding her.

“That was pathetic”, Señor Sánchez said.

Then, the bell. Thank god, a way to get out of this situation.

As everybody made to leave the gym, Raquel got up to do the same. “Señorita Murillo, you stay here, please”, Señor Sánchez said.

Raquel closed her eyes in agony. Not an extra lesson, please no.

“Señorita Sierra”, Señor Sánchez called. “Come here, please.”

Alicia strolled over and came to stand beside Raquel. Raquel avoided looking at her.

“You”, Señor Sánchez said, pointing at Raquel, “were the worst of the class today.”

Great. Now Alicia knew too.

“You”, he pointed at Alicia, “were the best. So, you teach our little stumblebum here how to do it right. I’ll be back in thirty minutes to see what you have achieved.”

Alicia was the first to object. “Señor, I have an appointment in – “ 

“I don’t care. Start. Or you both fail.”

With that he went away.

When he left, the only thing to hear in the gym was the echo of the door slamming shut. Raquel remained where she was, staring grimly onto the floor.

Alicia sighed. “Awesome.” She proceeded to circle around the mattress. “Getting a punishment for being the best…”, she mumbled.

Raquel forced herself not to roll her eyes. Instead she took a deep breath, a very deep breath, knowing she had to brace up for what was to come.

“Should we start?”, she asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. It wasn’t that easy, she found, when you had just been given shit by your teacher.

Alicia let herself down on the mattress. “Let’s just wait it out”, she said but it didn’t sound like a proposal. She had decided to just not go through with it.

“He will want to see we’ve made progress”, Raquel objected. The words hung in the air for a while.

Then, Alicia turned towards her and for the first time today, they really looked at each other. “We?”, she asked, and by now Raquel definitely knew Alicia wasn’t about to reconcile with her anytime soon. “You”, she corrected her, and her look of judgement hit Raquel right where it hurt.

“Great”, Raquel mumbled, took off her protective vest and threw it to the floor. There was no chance in hell they were going to practice in the next thirty minutes. Not with Alicia’s attitude. She strolled around the gym, avoiding to look at Alicia, but couldn’t help glancing over every other second. Alicia was languidly playing with her hair, which was bound into a flawless ponytail. Even now the red mane was so long and thick, Alicia could have dressed entirely in her own hair. Raquel forced herself to look away, wondering if she should just leave. What could be the worst consequence?

“Good god, the panic is written on your face in capitals!”, Alicia burst out. “Are you so afraid you’ll fail?”

Raquel turned to face her. She was so casually sitting on the mattress, as if she was sunbathing at the beach. In comparison to her, Raquel felt like a lost duckling.

“He said we’ll both fail”, Raquel reminded her. She was sure he couldn’t just kick them out without further reasons, but she needed to stand her ground.

Alicia scoffed. “Why do you have to be so bad at this?”

“Are you capable of doing anything else than complaining?”, Raquel snapped.

Alicia raised her eyebrows. Her calm attitude stirred something in Raquel’s stomach area.

“Are you capable of doing some simple self-defence moves?” There was this hint of a laughter in her voice that made Raquel want to slap her in the face.

“Maybe if you hadn’t acted like a bitch yesterday I would be on my game today and we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Oh, so this is my fault?” For the first time Alicia raised her voice.

Raquel shrugged.

“Alright”, Alicia said, but it wasn’t a declaration of agreement. It was a challenge. “Let’s train. Show me what you got.”

At this stage, Raquel deeply regretted having brought her to this point. Now she’d rather wait it out and face a lecture by Señor Sánchez.

But Alicia had already stood up, put her vest on and was bringing herself in position on the mattress. Raquel suppressed a sigh and put on her own vest, bracing herself, not only physically, for what was about to come.

Alicia adjusted her ponytail with a simple move, but then, without any further warning, she stepped towards Raquel and tried the same move Leo had already beat her twice with today. This time, Raquel was more attentive, but that might just be the result of Alicia’s presence. Still, she reacted almost fast enough, put her hands where she knew she would be able to incapacitate Alicia but her opponent was faster and well-practiced. A second later, Raquel found herself being slammed down on the mattress, a hollow bang echoing in her ears. She breathed out with frustration.

“Try again”, Alicia commanded.

Raquel grunted. At least she didn’t gloat about it.

Raquel got up and adjusted her vest.

“You think too much”, Alicia said.

“What?”

“I watched you during the lesson. You’re too slow and it’s not because your body isn’t capable of reacting fast. Your thoughts are killing your instincts.”

Raquel shook her head. Bullshit.

Why had she been watching her?

Alicia raised her eyebrows and Raquel nodded, expressing that she was ready for the second try.

This time, Alicia tried something different and Raquel was caught by surprise. She faked an attack and instead of going for Raquel’s shoulders, she tackled her by the waist, making her fall short of breath when she landed on the ground again. Raquel took a few seconds to close her eyes and calm down. She couldn’t take any more of this humiliation. Alicia might have remained quiet until now but that silent treatment was punishment enough. Raquel scoffed at her own thoughts. Punishment for what? Alicia was the one who had stepped out of line yesterday. She had done nothing wrong. Alicia held out a hand to her to help her up but Raquel refused and pushed herself to her feet on her own.

“You know what?”, Raquel snapped after she fell to the mattress for the third time. She struggled to get back up. “This isn’t working out.”

Her body was not going to be coping well with this. And her ego neither.

“Yes, it isn’t. If you’re giving up.”

Alicia wasn’t even sweating. She just stood there, her hair perfectly framing that flawless beauty she possessed.

Raquel had enough of it. “You know, I don’t have to let myself be slammed down to a mattress time after time by the person who kept insulting me over and over yesterday even though she was supposed to be my friend.”

“Stop being so sensitive”, Alicia complained.

“Then stop being so insensitive.”

“I have just told you the truth. As always.”

Raquel scoffed. “Well”, she said. “For some reason you always choose to tell the truth that hurts the most. Caring is not lying.”

Alicia took a step forward. “What is this? Friendship 101?”

“Maybe think twice before you say something.”

“Hey”, Alicia objected and for a second Raquel thought she looked… hurt. “You have said some things too.”

“Maybe I have just spoken the truth”, Raquel mocked her. Why couldn’t she see that her behaviour had been out of place?

“Shut up”, Alicia hissed. Her expression turned dark again and Raquel’s suspicion faded into thin air when Alicia pushed her backwards and she nearly fell to the ground. She tried the same move again, but this time Alicia hadn’t calculated with Raquel’s anger. Raquel wasn’t exactly faster than her, but now she was stronger, furious. She caught Alicia’s hands with her own mid-move and held against her grip until the two of them stumbled away from the mattress, neither wanting to give in.

“Why do you even care so much?”, Alicia panted.

Raquel took a while to answer. Why did she care so much about what Alicia thought and said?

“Why _don’t_ you care?”, Raquel finally replied, still trying to fight Alicia’s strength with her own. She wanted her to care, she realized, so desperately, that it hurt.

“I do”, Alicia pressed out, pushing harder so that Raquel was forced to take a step backwards without losing her grip on Alicia’s hands.

“But you hurt me!”, she burst out and a sudden wave of anger led her to push Alicia with much more strength than before. The redhead almost fell to the floor but managed to catch herself just in time.

They looked at each other, panting.

Alicia threw her hands in the air. “Maybe I was wrong”, she called out and Raquel felt like there was a _but_ hanging in the air.

“Ah, and why so?”, she replied. Somehow she couldn’t believe that Alicia would give in just now.

Alicia stood there for a second, staring at Raquel. “Because you needed a friend”, she pressed out, never taking her eyes off Raquel.

Raquel scoffed. “Yeah”, she agreed.

“But…”, Alicia panted and suddenly proceeded to attack Raquel. She could barely save herself by taking a step backwards. There it was, the _but_.

“What?”, Raquel pressed on as Alicia didn’t continue to talk. Both of them were out of breath. Raquel made to attack Alicia but she blocked her move right away.

“Fuck it”, Alicia muttered. “I was right”, she stated and shoved Raquel in the direction of the wall.

Raquel grunted and tried to reach Alicia’s upper arm. She dodged her just in time. “If that’s supposed to be an apology, it sucks.”

Raquel attempted another move to get Alicia to back down. Obviously, what they were doing had nothing to do with training anymore. Alicia barely reacted in time. Then, they were fighting each other with everything they got – a combination of attacking the other woman with bare hands and applying the self-defence moves they were supposed to be learning right now.

“Valentino was a dick, Raquel”, Alicia said.

Raquel was furious. This could not be happening all over again. “That is not the point!”, Raquel said and shoved Alicia away from her with all her strength and this time her voice was so loud that it echoed all around the gym and it made both of them pause in shock for a second.

“He doesn’t deserve you”, Alicia said.

“I was heartbroken, Alicia”, Raquel shouted. “Why couldn’t you just comfort me?”

When Alicia didn’t say anything, Raquel’s eyes started to fill with tears.

She pushed Alicia by the shoulders and the red-head took a step back.

“You were supposed to be my friend”, Raquel cried out, the tears now streaming down her face. “That’s all…that’s all I asked of you. To be my friend. To care.”

Alicia’s expression faltered. “Raquel, I…”

She reached forward with her hand, to attack or to appease, Raquel wasn’t sure, and she flinched.

“Don’t touch me”, she hissed and shoved Alicia away with a strength that the other woman hadn’t expected. Alicia landed on the floor, a small outcry of shock accompanying the bumping sound her body made as it met the ground. Raquel half expected her to jump up again and make a move at her but she straightened up, seeming to gather herself. Then she stood up, approaching Raquel. She didn’t look pugnacious now though, she looked sad.

“I fucked up. I know.”

Raquel took a step back, trying to gain some mental distance with that move, but her back only found the wall.

“Yeah you did.” She had trouble keeping her voice calm.

“But… I…”, Alicia stuttered and it wasn’t at all the attitude that Raquel knew from her friend.

“What?”, Raquel demanded to know, growing impatient.

Alicia hesitated.

“Why can’t you just apologize like a normal person?”, Raquel snapped.

Alicia took a step forward, brushing Raquel’s shoulder with her hand, hesitantly, shyly, as if she was testing the waters. Raquel’s gaze followed the movement of Alicia’s hands, uncertain of what was going to happen.

“I’m sorry”, Alicia said and looked her in the eyes.

Raquel was taken by surprise. She had almost expected another tirade.

“I’m sorry”, Alicia whispered and her expression made Raquel falter in her conviction about Alicia. She stayed quiet.

Alicia took a deep breath. “I couldn’t stand seeing you hurt by such a dick… I mean, by Valentino…”, she corrected herself as she saw Raquel’s expression. “…because I thought you deserved much, _much_ better than him. I somehow thought bashing him would make your sorrow go away faster.”

“Why would you think that?”

Alicia let out a desperate laugh. “I don’t know!”

Her eyes wandered to the ceiling, seemingly searching for the right words to say.

“I…”, Alicia started. “Sometimes I couldn’t stand seeing you with him. So much that I couldn’t even stand seeing you so heartbroken over him.”

“What?”, Raquel whispered and she was confused for a second as to how and when they came to be standing so close to each other, not fighting, not moving at all actually, just whispering although there was no one in this gym who would overhear them. “What do you – ?”

But Raquel didn’t get to finish that question because Alicia moved forward and closed the last remaining distance between their faces by kissing Raquel.

If Raquel could have, she would have gasped but when Alicia’s lips met her own everything other in the world than kissing seemed impossible. After the initial shock, a sudden desire flared up in Raquel’s chest and she started returning the gesture. Just like during that truth and dare, Raquel found herself closing her eyes, indulging in the touch of Alicia’s lips, in how natural and easy kissing Alicia felt and in how their movements worked in unison, yet completing each other. But this time, this wasn’t a dare, this time this wasn’t a pre-drinking game, there were no silly boys who were watching, enthralled by two women kissing, there was only them. And so, they weren’t interrupted and stopping was not part of Raquel’s vocabulary.

Alicia was the first to let go. Both were panting, their breasts heaving in unison, the only sound in that gym their heavy breaths. Neither of them moved away more than a few inches und Raquel realized that her cheeks were still wet from crying but she couldn’t care less.

“I am sorry”, Alicia said again and it sounded like her voice was cracking, a sound, Raquel had never expected to hear out of her mouth and it send shivers through her body. “I am sorry I wasn’t a good friend to you.”

Their faces were so close to each other, it was impossible to tell if their lips were touching or if it was just the thought of touching again, the desire to feel the other’s lips again, that made it feel like they actually were touching.

Raquel swallowed. As she looked into Alicia’s eyes, she felt that suddenly something new had unfolded between them, something she had been blind to before, and now she wondered how she had ever thought that she couldn’t forgive her.

“Apology accepted”, Raquel mumbled and that sentence went over in a muffled moan because now their lips really were touching again, exploring each other and indulging in the same sort of sudden desire like before. There was a rare pause to catch breath. Oh, if only the human body wasn’t dependent on air, Raquel thought, because the only thing she wanted to live off was this moment right now. Breathing, what a waste of time!

They let go of each other, not because they were tired of kissing but because they wanted to see each other, look each other in the eyes.

“I thought you don’t fool around with colleagues”, Raquel said.

Alicia smirked. “Well. Everybody knows I don’t follow rules that well. That includes my own.”

Raquel burst out laughing, and within a second Alicia had joined in and the both of them were laughing uncontrollably.

The sound of a door slamming shut startled them and they stopped.

“I see you are having a lot of fun”, Señor Sánchez said as he walked towards them. “Show me what you practiced.”

Raquel bit her lip. She had completely forgotten why they were here. Alicia looked at her and raised her eyebrows. They would have to wing it.

Winging it did not work. After merely two tries, both Alicia and Raquel had landed on the mattress, neither of them having achieved to defeat their opponent. The concentration was gone. All their strength had been put into… different activities.

Señor Sánchez brought it to a stop. “The practice has obviously been useless. Señorita Sierra, even you have gotten worse”, he said. “Go home. I expect to see both of you do better next week. I’ll let you fail otherwise.”

Raquel couldn’t care less. When they left the gym under Senor Sanchez’ admonishing stare, she saw in Alicia’s expression that she thought the same. In the locker room, the two of them burst out laughing again. This was not at all how this training session had supposed to go. They silently changed and packed their clothes. When they reached the exit of the building, Raquel hesitated, before opening the door.

“Why did you kiss me?”, she asked. It wasn’t a suspicious sounding question. But she needed to ask it. The silence was killing her. Not speaking the unspoken was killing her.

Alicia looked at her, observing her with a smile. “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Why does anyone kiss anyone?”

Raquel chuckled.

“Want to come with me to my place?”, Alicia asked.

Raquel hesitated. For the first time, she paused to think about what the implications of agreeing to this were. What all of this meant. But she didn’t know.

“Raquel?”, Alicia asked when Raquel didn’t reply. “I thought about what you said yesterday. That I didn’t let other people close to me.”

Raquel bit her lip. “I didn’t mean –”

“No, you were right”, Alicia interrupted her. “Usually I don’t let people in. I am new to this. I ... I’m trying. It’s the first time that I am not wearing a life jacket and I am diving into the deep end, so… please forgive me if I say the wrong things.”

Raquel was baffled. She just stared at her.

“When I kissed you… I hope I haven’t acted inappropriately.”

The words hung in the air for a second.

“No”, Raquel said quietly. “No, you haven’t.”

The tiniest hint of relief appeared on Alicia’s face.

Raquel was still processing what had happened. She didn’t know what had happened. But she knew she was not opposed to it. And she was tired of trying to figure things out.

“I would like it if we went to your place”, she finally said.

_“They’re in Mindanao.”_

_No._

_No. No. No._

_This could not be happening._

_“In 24 hours we will have them. You know how this goes. Paula comes here, you’re declared guilty of abducting your own child, you lose your custody and she goes to live with her father.”_

_They knew. Alicia knew._

_“So you’re here to tell me I’m fucked?” Raquel sniffed. “I already know that.”_

_Alicia sat on the table and placed a phone on the table. “Depends. I’ll let you call them. Right here. Right now.”_

_Raquel stared at the phone._

_“And you can lead them to safety”, Alicia continued. “When we get to your hideout in Mindanao, they’ll be gone. We fucked up.”_

_Raquel’s glance went from the phone to Alicia and back to the phone on the table. This was a way out._

_“The thought of Paula being with that bastard Alberto doesn’t thrill me either.”_

_No. Raquel leaned back, putting as much distance between herself and the phone as possible. Don’t give in. Not now. Not to her._

_“What’s Paula doing right now?” Alicia sighed and sat back down at the table. “Go on. Close your eyes. Picture her. Tucked in bed. The hair across the blanket. You can almost smell her. Close your eyes. Picture her.”_

_Alicia made as if to close her eyes with her hands. A request._

_Raquel wished she was somewhere else. But she wasn’t. She was sitting in a police tent, a traitor amongst former colleagues, fucked, as she had so nicely put it, and at the mercy of none other than Alicia Sierra._

_“Go on.”_

_“What are you doing, Alicia?”_

_Alicia put her hands on the table like a business woman. Well, she was a business woman of sorts. “It’s only a five-year wait, and then you’ll be reunited again. She comes running to you. Mamá. She hugs you like this, curled up around you, with her arms and legs like a little monkey.”_

_Raquel swallowed. Alicia had always scored at mind games. And she knew Raquel far too well not to succeed at this one._

_“And you press her against your chest and grab her little face to look at her. But she won’t let you go. She repeats over and over like a prayer that will save her from evil: ‘Mamá, no me lejes…”_

_She repeated the sentence like a mantra. Raquel tried not to listen, tried to shut her out but it was already too late. The words echoed within her body and she could hear her heartbeat way too loudly._

_“Raquel, I know you love him and he loves you too, and because of that, what do you think he would tell you to do? Did I offer you five years in prison? I’ll trade it for five minutes.” Alicia ripped the piece of paper apart and threw it away. “I am offering you freedom. Sergio goes to jail, but you go free. Your arrest was never official. You call them, get them to safety. In 24 hours you’ll all be together. We’ll never come after you. Everything will be over.”_

_Raquel stared at her. This was it. Raquel’s hands went towards the phone without her fully noticing. She took the phone, not without shedding the first of what would come to be several tears._

_Don’t do it, one part of her brain screamed. The other part didn’t listen. As much as she tried to tell herself that Alicia was playing her, she had to admit that her situation wasn’t better than it was laid out to be by the inspectora. She had confronted her with the truth, an ugly side of the truth, but it still was the truth. She hated that Alicia had so much power over her._

_Raquel couldn’t contain herself anymore and her cries developed into proper sobs. She could barely see the numbers on the phone. She vaguely noticed how Alicia stood up and asked for water._

_Raquel kept her eyes on the phone._

_Someone put a cup of water on the table. Raquel glanced over._

_Sergio’s watch._

_Raquel didn’t know how, but Anto_ ñ _anzas was wearing Sergio’s watch. Which meant that he knew. He knew, she was alive. Clarity started to unfold again._

_“Better?”, Alicia asked as Raquel took a sip of water from the cup. She thought she had won._

_“Mh-hm.”_

_Raquel laid down the phone and took another sip._

_They stared into each others eyes. Raquel could see Alicia's confusion, as if there were question marks written on her forehead._


	8. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back, HALLELUJAH!
> 
> As always, a big thank you to Ludka for sharing her thoughts with me! ❤️
> 
> And I owe a massive thank you to thegirloverseas for proofreading, for saying so many smart and helpful things and for her enthusiasm whenever I wanted to abandon this story because of a certain scene in this chapter 😏 THANK YOU, you are wonderful! ❤️
> 
> To everyone else: Please be nice 😅 (and enjoy the chapter, I guess 😃)

They were quiet on their journey to Alicia’s flat. It certainly felt like a journey, navigating through the urban jungle that was Madrid. Raquel couldn’t wait to arrive at Alicia’s place though at the same time she didn’t know what to expect: Ever since she had found the condom on Valentino’s bed yesterday, Raquel felt like she was on a roller-coaster. But she had no clue if the ride was over or if it was only just beginning.

As they entered the flat they stopped for a second, both unsure if they should proceed with what hung in the air unspoken.

“Do you want a glass of water?”, Alicia asked.

Raquel nodded. Her throat did feel sort of dry.

Clumsily Alicia walked over to the sink and poured them each a glass of water. Raquel swallowed the content of her glass at once.

“Come on”, Alicia said and took her hand. “I want to show you something.”

She led her across the apartment towards the room that Raquel had not seen the last time she had been here.

“The bedroom?”, she giggled. “Not at all presumptuous of you.”

Alicia threw her a mischievous look. “Wait for it”, she said and opened the door.

Like the rest of the flat, the bedroom was equipped with the essentials. A dresser, a nightstand with a book on it, and a spacious bed. What took in most of the space though was what seemed to be a workplace area in the centre of the room. This was where Alicia made her sculptures.

“So you don’t hide dead bodies in here”, Raquel teased.

Alicia laughed. It was a light laughter and Raquel automatically pricked up her ears, wanting to hear more of it.

Alicia removed a cover from a wooden table and revealed all sorts of pieces of art: Little figures carved from wood, stone sculptures that resembled flowers or trees and even some abstract designs that Raquel couldn’t identify.

“Wow”, Raquel exhaled but she didn’t think Alicia had heard her. “You were actually serious when you said that.”

“Of course”, Alicia said.

Raquel took a step closer to examine the artwork. Her hand went up – she couldn’t help it – to touch one of the tiny wooden figures on the table. The surface was smooth and clean. There didn’t seem to be a single corner that wasn’t carved with absolute accuracy. “You are crazy”, Raquel said. “You are crazy”, she repeated and laughed, looking back to Alicia. “Who the hell carves things out of wood as a hobby? Who does that?”

Alicia gave her a light slap on the shoulder.

“Hey!”, Raquel complained and tried to catch Alicia’s arm. She managed to grab her by the wrist and gently pulled her closer to her. “They look amazing, really.”

“Thanks”, Alicia replied, almost shyly. She hesitated, if only for a second, until a smile began to form on her lips. “I am glad you think that”, she started and walked towards the dresser.

“Why?”

Alicia opened one of the drawers and procured a small item, wrapped in a colourful paper. “Because I actually do still have a Christmas present for you.”

“You’re kidding”, Raquel said.

“Nope.”

Alicia put the present in Raquel’s hand. “Open it.”

Raquel raised her eyebrows and started to unwrap the gift. What emerged was a little boat, carved entirely of wood. There was a tiny sail at the top of it.

She looked up to Alicia. “This is… wow!”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it! But why a boat?”

Alicia shrugged. “You said you’d like to live at the ocean one day. I figured you might need a boat then.”

Raquel chuckled. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome.”

They remained standing there and smiled at each other for a while.

Raquel cleared her throat. “I did have a present for you too… although I might have thrown it out of my window in a fit of anger yesterday.”

Alicia burst out laughing. “You are unbelievable!”

“What? I was furious at you!”

Alicia held her stomach from laughing until eventually, Raquel joined in.

“You’re going to have to make up for that, you know that, right?”, Alicia said, pulling Raquel closer by her wrist.

“And how?”

Alicia grinned. “Hm, I might have a few ideas…”

With one fluent motion she had navigated Raquel towards the bed and thrown her on it, only to join her a second later.

Both of them lay there giggling until Alicia turned around to face Raquel. As they looked into each other’s eyes it was like the world came to a halt for a moment and Raquel almost forgot to breathe when Alicia reached out her hand to push a strand of hair out of her face.

Alicia’s hand stayed there on her cheek and Raquel could feel the warmth of Alicia’s skin radiating onto hers. Then a mischievous smirk appeared on Alicia’s face and her hand proceeded to wander down Raquel’s face to her chin and Raquel had to giggle again. Alicia chuckled in response, but her hand had not reached its destination yet. It moved further down until suddenly the fabric of Raquel’s jacket presented itself as an obstacle. Alicia frowned at it and pulled the jacket away so only a thin T-shirt layer separated her hand from Raquel’s skin.

“What are you doing?”, Raquel whispered.

“Oh, is this a crime?”, Alicia teased.

Raquel shook her head. Her heart was pounding so strongly that she could feel the beats in her entire body.

Alicia’s hands wandered down to the hem of Raquel’s shirt. Before she could reach it however, Raquel decided to take matters into her own hands. She elegantly glided away from Alicia’s grip and turned around to roll on top of her.

Alicia smirked. “Oh, now you’re suddenly not clumsy anymore?”

Raquel laughed. “Shut up.”

“Make me.”

Raquel took her time admiring the picture that had enfolded in front of her. They had been making fun, joking around. Had it been a way of dragging out what both of them knew was about to happen? Was the silliness a façade to hide their insecurities? Raquel’s giggling subsided until eventually, only a slight smile was left on her lips. As she watched Alicia staring back into her eyes, her face so close to her own, she grew astoundingly calm, feeling a warm and familiar tingling occupy her body.

_Make me._

She would be glad to. She had been hesitant before, not resisting, but hesitant. This time, it was Raquel closing the gap between their faces, initiating that first touch of their lips, that first kiss that was like a tiny wave, an impulse that set free an entire ocean filled with longing and desire for more. Their bodies were drawn to each other when Alicia returned Raquel’s touch with her lips, pulling her closer without even physically having to touch her. They let go off each other, breathlessly, and now, as Alicia let her hand wander to the hem of Raquel’s shirt again, she let her undress her, free her of what was separating them. Now they were in a rush, hurrying to proceed with what they had started. Raquel helped Alicia to take off her shirt, guiding her hands with her own until there was only her bra left. Eagerly, Alicia reached for the straps on Raquel’s shoulders but Raquel stopped her. Fair was fair. And Alicia was still very much dressed. Raquel pulled Alicia’s sweater up her stomach and she complied, changing her position on the bed to help her get the fabric off her body. As they were kneeling in front of each other, Raquel couldn’t help but admire the beauty that presented itself in front of her. Somewhere between laying giggling on the mattress and undressing each other, Alicia’s hair, that was always bound into a pony tail, had become loose. It was now flowing over her shoulders, perfectly framing her breasts. Raquel smiled at the sight and what was more wonderful than anything was that Alicia smiled back at her, a spark in her eyes that Raquel just couldn’t resist. This time, as she leaned forward to kiss her, their lips like magnets that were constantly pulled towards one another, she ran her hands through Alicia’s hair, testing if it felt as pleasant as it looked. She let her hand wander down her neck, exploring the top of her naked spine until it reached the back of her bra, only to unclasp it a second later. Raquel could feel rather than hear Alicia chuckle and she withdrew to look at her when she began mimicking Raquel’s move, undressing her with one simple flick of the hand. She gently nudged her backwards with her fingertips and Raquel succumbed to the gesture, letting herself fall onto the mattress until Alicia was above her, watching her.

“You’re so beautiful”, Alicia said and it sounded so honest, so genuine, so utterly true that Raquel had no trouble believing it. Alicia traced the features of Raquel’s face with her fingers, then made her way downwards to her neck, where Raquel had always been a bit ticklish, further down until she reached her naked breasts, first circling them with her index finger but then exploring every part of them. Alicia leaned down, slowly but surely moving her mouth to Raquel’s breasts and finally taking her left nipple between her lips. Raquel gasped at the sensation. Why did this feel so good? Alicia looked up at the sound, a questioning, almost concerned look in her eyes.

“Go on”, Raquel whispered, wanting her to know right now that this felt right, so, so right.

Alicia proceeded to cover her nipple with her mouth and Raquel found herself closing her eyes. When Alicia took her hand to squeeze her other breast while sucking again at her already hard nipple, Raquel let out a soft moan. She could feel her breast heaving from excitement and then, when Alicia looked up at her, both of them couldn’t take it any longer. In synchrony, they lifted themselves up from the bed, just enough to get rid of their jeans that soon lay forgotten on the floor, their panties with them.

It was peculiar, Raquel thought, to do this. Opening up to another person, taking off all of your layers, both literally and metaphorically. Taking the risk of falling. Always on the edge, but never falling.

For a second they observed each other closely. Raquel saw a few droplets of sweat on Alicia’s forehead, her cheeks and her cleavage. She smirked at her, and Raquel figured she had to look equally dishevelled, her cheeks probably red from all the kissing and the excitement.

Then their lips found each other again and it seemed that every little step had to be initiated by that small gesture, that first sign of affection towards each other that hadn’t been in the realm of friendship anymore, the memory of what had happened in the gym still clearly in their minds. First, it was gentle but then they got more eager, wanting to touch the other, craving more and more.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this”, Alicia pressed out breathlessly between kisses.

“Me neither”, Raquel panted.

They were all over each other and from a certain point on Raquel didn’t know whose hands were whose, whose breasts were whose, all she knew was the feeling of wanting to touch and to be touched. A sudden wave of joy overcame her, occupying her insides and filling her body with what could only be described as happiness.

Raquel craved to touch Alicia’s skin, feeling her warmth, exploring her body. But soon, that wasn’t enough. Raquel nudged her slightly backwards and Alicia let herself fall onto the mattress. Almost by itself, Raquel’s hand slid down from Alicia’s breasts, over her stomach and down between her thighs.

“May I?”, she asked but the question seemed unnecessary.

Alicia nodded. “Yes”, she whispered. “You may.”

Slowly, Raquel traced up Alicia’s thighs. Her skin felt soft under her hands and suddenly, Raquel felt a thick hotness surrounding her. Finally, she moved her index finger to Alicia’s clit, just placing it there. Then she looked up, wanting to see Alicia’s reaction. But Alicia just watched her with narrowed eyes as if to say _stop teasing_ and Raquel grinned. She proceeded by gently applying some pressure, never taking her eyes off Alicia whose lips curled into a content smile. She tilted her head backwards with a soft moan and spread her legs even wider which Raquel took as a sign to carry on. After a while, Raquel had found a steady rhythm and Alicia’s moans were the most beautiful response to her movements, a signal that she was on the right path. Then Raquel’s fingers found their way downwards. For a second, she stopped right at Alicia’s entrance, looking up to her until their gazes locked. Finally, she pushed one finger inside her, making Alicia gasp.

“Good?”, Raquel asked.

“Yes”, Alicia whispered. “Go on.”

Slowly, Raquel started to move inside and out of Alicia, trying to alternate the pace while she caressed her breast with the other hand. When she thought her finger was wet enough she added a second finger, increasing the tempo.

“Raquel”, Alicia groaned.

Raquel continued. She was delighted by the wetness that welcomed her fingers inside and the more pressure she applied and the faster she went, the more did Alicia move her hips towards her, her legs trembling slightly beside Raquel. Her other hand slid down from Alicia’s breast, over her stomach, to join its counterpart at the clit, multiplying the pleasure.

“God, this feels so good”, Alicia moaned.

“Yes”, Raquel agreed. She had never thought giving someone else pleasure would satisfy her to this extent.

“Raquel”, Alicia panted and it sounded almost pleading. “I want to kiss you.”

Kissing hadn’t seemed enough a few minutes ago, but now Raquel was humbled by Alicia’s request. Yes, kissing!

Raquel stopped her movements for a moment but let her fingers rest where they were while she carefully came to lay beside Alicia on the bed, her body half on the mattress, half on the other woman. Alicia’s lips crashed onto Raquel’s and they both could feel how their gestures had changed from a gentle and careful manner to a more longing approach. Raquel needed to feel Alicia, needed to touch her, to be with her, around her, in her. Their bodies were so close now, their limbs entangled with each other, Raquel couldn’t tell whose legs were whose. She continued to pleasure Alicia with her fingers while Alicia’s hands seemed to be everywhere: on Raquel’s breasts, her bottom, her stomach… everywhere but where she wanted them to be.

“Touch me”, Raquel breathed out between kisses.

The demand was ironic considering just how much Alicia’s hands were all over Raquel, but Alicia knew what Raquel wanted. Finally, Alicia’s hands wandered downwards and Raquel eagerly moved her hips in their direction, desperate for Alicia’s touch.

Oh, and when she touched her, she did it thoroughly. Her fingers filled her, enthusiastically searching for Raquel’s sensitive spots, while her other hand stimulated Raquel from the outside and she moaned in joy at the sensation.

Now they were intertwined with each other, mirroring each other’s movements, both subject to the other’s actions. Their bodies were moving in unison, forever searching for the high, their lips meeting halfway without any effort.

“Faster”, Raquel panted.

Alicia moaned. “Yes.”

And so they moved faster, driving each other to the edge of their consciousness, their breasts heaving heavily, their fingers exhausting the last remaining areas of pleasure, until finally they came together.

After a few seconds needed for recollection, both of them let their exhausted bodies sink into the cushions. Raquel blinked at the ceiling as she slowly began to regain her senses again. She turned her head to look at Alicia who did the same.

“That was…”, she started.

“Yes.”

“… amazing.

Alicia grinned and Raquel leaned closer to kiss her on the lips. This time, it wasn’t hectic or demanding. It was the gentlest ending to an overwhelming evening.

They stayed like that for a long time afterwards, embracing each other, indulging in the other’s warmth. Much talking wasn’t needed.

When Raquel had to leave, she didn’t want to. But her sense of responsibility finally made her get up, put on her clothes and leave the flat after several kisses tempting her to stay longer.

“So, how did it go yesterday?”, Leo asked after he had closed the passenger door.

They were sitting in the car, driving to the academy.

Raquel’s heart made a leap – not for the first time this morning.

She kept her eyes on the road. “What do you mean?”

“Señor Sánchez? The extra training?”

“Right”, Raquel said, trying to brush off her initial confusion. “Um… it sucked. He said we’d both fail if we didn’t do better next week.”

“Both of you?”, Leo burst out.

“Yeah…”, Raquel replied absentmindedly.

“But wasn’t Alicia supposed to teach you?”

“Yes.”

Raquel didn’t say more. She could sense Leo was staring at her but she made no effort to acknowledge him or answer what was obviously on his mind.

“Alright…”, he said slowly. “Did you two at least make up?”

“Yes.”

This time, Raquel just couldn’t say more. Saying more would tempt her to tell him everything about last night. And she didn’t want to reveal what had happened yet. Not until she had seen Alicia again and had made sure it hadn’t all been a dream.

“Okay…”, Leo made when he realised Raquel would just leave it at that. “Good for you.”

Poor Leo. Raquel felt bad for treating him like a ghost, but her thoughts were elsewhere. She turned around a corner and Leo reached for the handle on the car’s ceiling.

“Also, why are you going so fast? Is there someplace you need to be?”

Not a place. Maybe a person.

“No reason.”

They met Alicia in the hallway in front of the classroom. At her sight, Raquel’s heart took another leap and she found herself not being able to take off her gaze. Why had she never paid attention to her beauty? What a waste of time! Alicia leaned casually against the wall, straightening up only slightly when she saw the two of them approaching. But she smiled and Raquel smiled back before she even noticed what she was doing.

“Hey”, Raquel said and for a second, she questioned how she should greet Alicia. Should she hug her? Kiss her? On the lips? On the cheeks? They hadn’t even spoken about what they were.

“Hi”, Alicia replied and reached for her bag.

How had they greeted each other before? Raquel didn’t remember. It seemed like something she should remember.

How much time had passed since Alicia had said ‘hi’? Should she say something? Were they just staring at each other now? How did people talk to each other? Raquel had forgotten all of it in the past few seconds.

The bell. Right, they had class now.

“Okay, I’m going in”, Leo said. “Are you coming?”

Raquel made an agreeing sound but she didn’t move. Alicia didn’t either.

“What is up with the both of you today?”, Leo said and shook his head. Then he entered the classroom and the door shut close behind him. The hallway was almost empty now.

Alicia grinned. “How are you?”

“Well. Very well, in fact.” Raquel leaned against the wall, if only to support her knees that were getting weak. “You?”

She smiled. “Me too.”

Raquel chuckled. Could this be any more awkward?

“I like how you wear your hair today”, she said.

She didn’t wear her usual ponytail but let her hair fall naturally over her shoulders instead.

“Thanks.”

Raquel reached for a strand of Alicia’s hair, brushing it lightly with her fingers, and leaned in closer, desperate for affection. Alicia mimicked the movement.

Their lips brushed against each other and Raquel found herself closing her eyes when a door shut closed with a bang at the end of the hallway and Alicia pulled back in a blink. Distance was established again.

Señor Ruiz was approaching them. “Ready for class, Señoritas?”, he asked and held the door open for the both of them.

“Yes, Señor”, they replied, almost in unison, and scurried into the classroom.

Okay. So whatever this was, it wasn’t for anyone to see.

Winter in Madrid wasn’t exactly hot. But it was either smoking in the cold or not smoking at all and so the average police aspirant chose the former, letting their body freeze from the outside and burn from the inside.

Raquel extended her lighter to ignite both Leo’s and Alicia’s cigarettes.

“Are we ever going to stop doing that?”, Leo asked and took his first drag, his features turning into a dreamy expression.

“What?”

“Smoking.”

“Not a chance in hell”, Alicia said. “With what they’re putting us through here? No. It’s my stress reliever. It’s either that or going grey at twenty-five.”

Leo raised his index finger. “But you know that smokers are more likely to get grey hair early in their lives?”

Alicia sighed. “So it’s a lose-lose situation, then? Might as well keep smoking.” She took a long drag from her cigarette.

“I don’t know”, Leo said. “I think grey hair would really suit me.”

Raquel rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, right!”

He chuckled. “I guess I am going to stop eventually. When I have children.”

Alicia raised her eyebrows. “You don’t strike me as the type who wants children.”

“What?”, Leo exclaimed, surprised. “Of course I do. Two of them. My wife and I are going to have a big house in the suburbs with a garden they can play in.”

Alicia looked at him with narrowed eyes, searching for clues in his face as if she was inspecting a crime scene. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not”, she said after a while.

Leo laughed out loud. “I am not, I swear.” He put a hand on his heart which just looked ridiculous.

Alicia tilted her head and looked at Raquel with a questioning look.

“He’s telling the truth”, Raquel said. “He’s been wanting children ever since I’ve known him.”

“Yes”, Leo confirmed. “And Raquel and I are going to be neighbours so our children can play together all the time. When Raquel’s a successful negotiator.”

Raquel chuckled. Sometimes she didn’t know where Leo got these ideas from.

“Alright”, Alicia gave in. “But you seem so adventurous.”

“And having a family isn’t adventurous?”, he countered.

Alicia shrugged.

“What about you?”, Leo said. “Don’t you want to have kids?”

Alicia hesitated and threw a quick glance to Raquel. “Um… not really, no. Or at least not for a long, long time,” she finally answered, looking to the floor.

“Huh”, Leo made. “That’s… rare.”

Alicia shrugged.

“Why not?”

Raquel put out her cigarette by dropping it to the ground and stepping on it. “Come on, Leo. Let her be.”

Alicia sighed. “I guess I just don’t really believe in the fairy-tale of the perfect family.”

“Hm”, made Leo. He put out his cigarette and reached for his wallet. “I’m getting some food. Do you want anything?”

They shook their heads and he left for the cafeteria.

Raquel looked to the ground, kicking the cigarette butts from one point to another. What had made Alicia lose faith in the concept of a family? Once again, Raquel realized that she knew nothing about Alicia’s family. How had her childhood been? Was it the reason she was opposed to having kids? Or maybe she was just over-analysing. Not wanting kids was a valid desire after all.

When she looked back up, she found Alicia smiling at her.

“What are you thinking about?”, Alicia said, leaning closer.

“Nothing”, Raquel replied, feeling slightly caught. “Why?”

“You looked so lost in thought. A bit worried, perhaps.”

Raquel chuckled. “I’m not.”

Alicia’s expression lit up. “So… Are you going to be comfortable with Leo as your neighbour?”, she joked.

That made Raquel laugh. “Totally. I think he’ll be a great neighbour. A great father, as well.”

Alicia looked in the direction Leo had just vanished. “Yeah, I think so too.”

“So…”, Raquel found herself saying, realizing she just couldn’t let that family thing go. “Does that mean you don’t want to get married?”

Alicia raised her eyebrows. Before, it had been Leo who had brought up the talks about the future. Speaking about that with your… – what were they now? Girlfriends? Friends with benefits? – either way, it probably wasn’t the best decision. Raquel bit her lip at that realization.

“I don’t know”, Alicia sighed. “I… don’t want to put myself in a situation where I’m dependent on another person.”

“That is not what marriage is”, Raquel objected.

“Well”, Alicia replied, carefully. “To me, it kind of is. You have to make compromises, you’re always reliant on the other person’s choices and desires.”

“But it can be a good thing not having to go through life alone”, Raquel said.

Alicia smiled. “I am not saying I want to be alone. I just want to keep my freedom.”

Raquel decided not to push it any further. So they were disagreeing. They had disagreed before. Raquel didn’t care. She didn’t care because being with Alicia, being near her, filled her with so much joy that any disagreement didn’t matter. And, despite having no clue about what they were after last night, she didn’t doubt for a second that there would never come a time when she wouldn’t care about Alicia.

_She hated that face. She hated that face, that expression, that smile that seemed to say_ I beat you at this game _. Raquel wouldn’t change what had happened in the past three years for anything in the world, but that didn’t change that this had been her spot once. She had been the one in charge of this tent. It didn’t feel good not to be anymore. And all Alicia’s face seemed to scream was_ I am better than you. I watched you back then, destroying your career, your reputation, destroying yourself. Now look what has become of you. _And Tamayo, Alicia’s little lap dog, standing in the corner of the room, didn’t make things better._

_“Okay. All set for your statement. Go ahead.”_

_Her voice. That calm and raw voice. The voice she had been waking up to in the mornings back then now belonged to the person who held her destiny in their hands. She couldn’t take it any longer._

_“I do have a question before we get started. I don’t know if it’s relevant but I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I wanted to ask you, Alicia.”_

_Raquel adjusted her posture, trying to ignore the handcuffs that were a constant reminder that she was a prisoner here, nothing more than that._

_“Ask away.”_

_“What’s it like when you go home? I mean, you get home from work after torturing a kid like Rio who you’ve made stand for days in a cell that’s smaller than a closet, shitting and pissing himself. Then you go home… to Germán. That’s what I wanted to ask.”_

_Alicia raised her eyebrows and raised her hand, signalling to go on._

_“You don’t mind they call you a torturer in the press. But Germán… Because Germán is a really good person, what does he say when you come home? Does he say ‘how was your day, honey?’ Do you kiss him and hug him? And what then? Does he hug you? Kiss you? Do you fuck? Because I think you make him sick.”_

_She had got it all out. Now what? Of course, Alicia’s reaction was out of the ordinary, as always. She smiled, a somewhat wistful expression on her face. But then she grabbed the recording device and turned it off, putting it into her pocket. She was still smiling and Raquel was guessing nothing good would come out of her sudden rant._

_“See, the truth is… well, it’s been about two months since Germán hugged me. Since he hugged me, since he kissed me, since he made love to me.”_

_What was she getting at? Where were the witty answers? Despite her confusion, Raquel tried to uphold her expression. For once in these past days, she wanted to have the upper hand here, just once._

_“To be precise, not since I cremated him. They pulled a white sheet over his face, they rolled him down the morgue in the hospital, and that’s where the hugging stopped.”_

_Raquel’s face fell in an instant._

_“Alicia, what are you doing?”, Tamayo voiced her thoughts._

_“He’s dead. Cancer. Of the pancreas. The kind where they tell you you have two months and it’s two months.” Alicia’s facial features only changed slightly, her voice was not so controlled anymore now. But Raquel noticed it. She sounded upset. “I was getting fat, he was thin. I was pink and he was yellow. It consumed him. Life grew inside me, and death grew in him. But I guess that’s cancer.”_

_Raquel could only stare at her, disbelievingly. She hadn’t known. How could she if apparently even Tamayo didn’t?_

_“Do you know the last thing he said to me? Can you believe his last words were ‘Turn on the news’?”_

_Why was she telling her this? Suddenly, listening to Alicia’s voice became agony. Not because of what it reminded Raquel of. But because of how it sounded like. Because of what she had to say._

_“I thought he was gonna give me one of those speeches of his because you know he was really eloquent, and he was really creative too.”_

_Bit by bit, the Alicia from the past few days, the inspectora, vanished. She was laying down her layers, revealing parts of herself that Raquel believed to recognize. Parts of the Alicia she had once known. In some way, she had won the upper hand for a moment. But this wasn’t a triumph. This was terrifying._

_“And he said, ‘Turn on the news.’ Turn on the news! I mean, he was full of morphine, of course, so I guess that was affecting him. That was it.”_

_Raquel realised her face must be showing all kinds of emotions right now, like an open book. But that didn’t matter right now. This was not the time for games and negotiations. Her instincts told her so as well and before she knew it, her hand reached out to Alicia’s, gently taking it into her own._

_For a millisecond, their gazes crossed. There was surprise on Alicia’s face. Hesitation. Then she pulled her hand way._

_“Lo siento mucho”, Raquel said quietly. She had heard the same words back then when Alicia had tried to comfort her. She was repeating them now, more than twenty years later, their roles reversed._

_Alicia only stared at her and for the first time, it felt like she was finally letting the space between them be occupied by the memories of the past, memories of their relationship._

_Raquel didn’t know where Alicia went wrong. When she had suddenly become the woman who almost tortured a young man into oblivion. But right now, she couldn’t help but see the old Alicia in front of her. The Alicia she had known and loved. And that woman didn’t deserve this._

_“Alicia, can we go outside for a moment?”, Tamayo said. The moment was over._

_“Yeah, yeah. I’ll go.”_

_Alicia was visibly working to regain her composure – anyone could see that. She threw one last glance to Raquel, her eyes moving nervously across the room, took her pistol, and left._

“Do you want to come to my place later?”, Raquel asked as she lit her second cigarette. Alicia threw her a suspicious look, so Raquel leaned in closer. “My parents are on a trip and my sister is staying with a friend. We would have the house to ourselves.”

A smile crept onto Alicia’s face. “I’d love to go to your place.” She sounded genuinely excited which made Raquel’s heart leap.

Raquel grinned and leaned in even closer. Unable to stop herself from touching her, she gently brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen into Alicia’s face. When she was about to close the last remaining distance between them, Alicia pulled away. Again.

“Don’t be so obvious”, she whispered.

Raquel could only stare at her for a second, completely taken aback. Alicia recovered quickly, an apologetic expression on her face, but Raquel could feel her insecurities creeping upon her.

She hesitated. “Is it because I am a woman?”

“No!”, Alicia hastened to say. “No, not at all.”

“What then?”, Raquel pressured.

Alicia paused and looked around. “I don’t know if here is the best place to be so intimate…”

“The colleague thing?”, Raquel burst out. “Again?”

A voice interrupted them. “That queue was ridiculously long”, Leo said, having come back from the cafeteria. He held a sandwich in his hands, accompanied by some lollipops. “Those were for free. Want some?”

“Sure.” Raquel grabbed herself a lollipop.

“Nah, thanks, I’m not into sweets”, Alicia said.

Leo shrugged. “Okay. Want to go ice-skating later?”

“Actually”, Alicia started, “we were planning on going to Raquel’s place.”

At least that was still on.

“Yes”, Raquel said, putting out her cigarette. “And we better leave now if we don’t want to get caught up in the rush hour.”

“Great, I’m coming with you”, Leo said.

“No you’re not”, Alicia stated bluntly.

“What? Why?”

Raquel looked at Alicia, her eyebrows raised.

But she simply shrugged. “It’s a girl thing.”

With that, she grabbed Raquel by her arm and pulled her towards the parking lot, leaving a confused Leo and several lollipops behind. 

When Raquel turned the key to her parent’s house – which would be her house tonight – she couldn’t wait any longer. The moment she had closed the door, they were all over each other, finally kissing again, without any spectators this time. Had it really been less than twenty-four hours that they had been in bed together? It felt like an eternity.

“Hey”, Alicia interrupted the kissing as they were – rather clumsily – making their way upstairs to Raquel’s bedroom. Raquel paused to look at her.

“I’m sorry for pulling away when you wanted to kiss me earlier”, Alicia said. “I want to, I do. I just… it feels weird to me to show affection in public.”

“So it’s not a colleague thing”, Raquel concluded.

“Partially, yes”, Alicia admitted. She hesitated before continuing to speak. “But… It’s hard for me to be so open in public. It’s not that I haven’t been in relationships before, I just… I feel like I’m baring all my secrets.”

Raquel paused to think about that. She had never felt this way, not one moment in her life. When she liked someone, she wanted the whole world to know.

Alicia looked at her expectantly, somewhat shyly.

“I’m sorry”, she replied, still a bit perplexed. “I didn’t mean to pressure you.”

“No, I’m sorry”, Alicia said. “I don’t want to make you feel like I want to keep you a secret or that I don’t want to be with you. I do, I really do. I just… might need some time.”

Raquel smiled. “I’m absolutely okay with that. And thanks for telling me.”

Alicia looked immensely relieved.

“So…”, she started. “Do you want to go to bed or what?”

Raquel laughed out loud and Alicia quickly joined in and they continued making their way upstairs.

In Raquel’s room, Alicia began taking charge, nudging Raquel towards the bed while continuously kissing her on the lips, her cheeks, her neck. Having arrived at their destination, they were suddenly very eager to get rid of their clothing and Alicia didn’t hesitate to start with Raquel’s sweatshirt. Then they were back to kissing again, when –

“What was that noise?”, Alicia said.

“Nothing”, Raquel mumbled and pressed a kiss to her neck.

“No, seriously, I heard something.”

“My parents are out of town, remember?”, Raquel said, growing annoyed of being kept from pleasure and excitement.

Then the front door closed with a bang.

Raquel and Alicia held still, looking at each other in shock.

“See?”, Alicia whispered.

Raquel sighed and put her sweatshirt back on. “I’m going to have a look”, she said and got up. Alicia followed her to the staircase.

“Mamá?”

Mariví was standing in the hallway, motionless. It took her a few seconds to look up to Raquel. Her face was pale, trembling.

“What happened?”, Raquel asked, slowly going downstairs. “I thought you and papá weren’t supposed to come back until tomorrow morning.”

“Raquel”, Mariví finally said, her voice shaking. “Your father…”

Raquel came to stand in front of her mother. “What?”, she whispered.

“There has been an accident.”

“What?”

She wished she could un-hear these next words but that was not how life worked.

Mariví took a deep breath, apparently knowing which impact her words would have on her daughter’s life.

“He’s dead.”


	9. Challenges

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody, I am finally back with a new chapter! Thank you all so much for the comments you've left on the last chapter - I know I am very slow with replying but I am happy about every comment I get so please keep doing that! 
> 
> A big thank you goes to thegirloverseas for helping me with the fine-tuning of my English and for being a badass in logical thinking and noticing when something really doesn't work. Your input really improves my writing so much! ♥️
> 
> And thank you so much, Ludka, for always giving me valuable feedback on what I've written, for discussing tiny details with me and for encouraging me to keep updating this story! ♥️

_Two weeks later_

Raquel stepped outside and quietly closed the front door behind her.

“I brought tortilla. My dad made it,” Leo said. “Is this a bad time?”,

Raquel gratefully took the plate and put it on the ground. “No. But my mom is napping on the sofa so we better stay outside.”

Leo pulled two cigarettes out of his pocket, handing one to Raquel and lighting them.

“How is she?” he asked, sitting down on the front porch although the weather certainly wasn’t inviting.

Raquel shrugged, taking a seat beside him. “She’s tired a lot. Ever since the funeral she’s just… wandering around the house. There isn’t much to do now and I think it’s driving her crazy.”

Leo puffed out a cloud of smoke. “That sucks.”

Raquel pulled the sleeves of her sweater down to her fingertips and crossed her arms. “Yeah.”

“The funeral was beautiful by the way.” He stopped. “If that’s even a fitting word for a funeral…”

“Yeah…,” Raquel sighed. “I think it went surprisingly well. Although at the end of the day, I was just glad it was over.”

“How are you?” Leo asked, looking at her.

Raquel hesitated. In fact, she didn’t know how she was. Everyone kept asking and from a certain point on she had just started repeating the same old phrases she knew from movies or books. People wouldn’t know how to react to what was actually going through her mind at times. Maybe Leo would.

“Sometimes I feel like I am not sad enough,” she said.

Leo paused. “You mean… like you’re not mourning him enough?”

Raquel nodded. Confirming her lack of feelings out loud felt like a betrayal towards her father.

“Well”, Leo said, clearly unsure of how to continue, but bringing himself to say at least something. “I think you shouldn’t force yourself to be sad. Or beat yourself up about not being sad.”

“I am sad. It’s just… I’ve always thought my world would collapse when someone close to me died. And now…my sister has these bursts of anger. Then she’s screaming and crying at the same time and it’s horrifying to watch because it is like her world is breaking down and she’ll never see light again. You know, I loved my father very much and I do cry for him but… it’s bearable? There is a constant shell of sadness surrounding me but…. It doesn’t consume me, I guess…”

“Hm,” Leo made. “There isn’t a manual to mourning. At least that I know of.”

Raquel let out a hollow laugh.

“Don’t let people tell you what to feel,” Leo said.

“Yeah, I guess,” Raquel replied but she didn’t feel better at all. “How’s the academy?”

“Same old story. Quite boring without you. Alicia’s been asking for you.”

That put a smile on Raquel’s face. “She called a few times but it was always a bad moment so we couldn’t really talk.”

“I’ll tell her you said hi.”

“Tell her I’m calling her as soon as I can.”

“Okay.”

“So,” Raquel said. “Ready for your date?”

Leo looked at her, surprised. “How the hell did you know I have a date later?”

Raquel grinned. “You’re wearing perfume.”

“Oh.”

“You’re so predictable.”

“Well… yeah,” he said and shrugged. “I like to smell nice when I meet new people.”

“Who is she?”

“Ana, two years above us.”

“Blonde hair?”

“Yes.”

“I think I know her. She seems nice.”

“Yes,” Leo said and grinned from ear to ear.

Raquel managed a weak smile in return. “Then I don’t want to keep you,” she said.

“Are you sure?”, Leo said.

“Yeah, yeah. Go on your date. Have fun.”

“Thanks,” he said and got up. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will.”

Later that day, Raquel heated up the food Leo had brought her. The three Murillo women sat around the dining table, silently eating the food and with it their feelings. Raquel’s mother excused herself to bed in the late afternoon and Raquel tried to talk to her sister in an attempt to make her feel better or at least distract her for a while. But Laura quickly brushed off anything Raquel said and went to her bedroom, saying she wanted to be alone right now. Soon, Raquel found herself pacing through the living room. She didn’t know what to do with herself, like most of the time in the past few days. Finally, she couldn’t take the silence anymore, took her jacket and left.

Raquel couldn’t wait to see Alicia again after these two weeks but now as she found herself in front of her apartment door, she was nervous. Should she have called first? She pressed the bell and then it was too late to back out because a few seconds later, the door opened.

“Raquel?”

Alicia looked surprised. She seemed to be a bit out of breath, wearing some sort of apron, her red hair loosely bound into a messy bun.

“I’m sorry to just turn up here, I… I needed… Can I come in?”

Alicia looked baffled. “Yeah, sure.” She stepped aside and Raquel entered the flat. The memory of what happened here the last time she had visited popped into her mind and she stopped in the threshold for a second. Alicia quickly cleared away some clothes from the sofa and gestured for Raquel to take a seat. She sat down on the other side of the couch.

“How are you?” Alicia asked.

Raquel had internalized more than ten answers to that question, depending on who was asking it, but not one of them seemed to fit right now. This was Alicia.

Before Raquel could say anything, Alicia averted her gaze and nervously tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of the bun behind her ear.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “That was a stupid question.”

Raquel was taken aback for a second. She hadn’t expected Alicia to be so nervous, Alicia of all people.

“No, it wasn’t,” Raquel hastened to say. “I just… I don’t know how I am.”

Alicia nodded. “I didn’t know what to…”, she started. “I wasn’t sure if I should just come over or…”

“No, no, it was fine that way.” Raquel stopped, trying to find the right words to explain. “I thought I needed to get some distance. To let myself mourn.” She laughed. “But apparently that’s not how this thing works.”

Alicia nodded slowly and moved closer so she could lay her hand onto Raquel’s. “Lo siento mucho,” she said.

They looked at each other, both knowing that these words didn’t truly help. Still, they needed to be said sometimes.

“Have you ever lost someone close to you?” Raquel asked.

“No.” It sounded almost apologetic.

Raquel took a deep breath. “I always thought I wanted to be alone when someone close to me died but right now I feel like I don’t ever want to be alone again. I miss you.”

Alicia smiled. “I miss you too.”

Suddenly, Raquel laughed and touched Alicia’s cheek. “Is that paint on your face?”

“Oh!” Alicia exclaimed and rubbed the spot with her hands.

“What were you doing when I arrived?” Raquel asked.

“Well,” Alicia said and got up to take off the apron she was still wearing. “Sometimes I try to paint the designs I make. But most of the time it’s not much fun.” She let herself fall back down on the couch next to Raquel. “Honestly, I was just avoiding studying for the exams.”

“Don’t remind me,” Raquel groaned.

“Keep calm, I think Leo hasn’t studied at all yet.”

“Yeah,” Raquel puffed. “But he doesn’t care about the grades. He’ll barely pass and he’s fine with that.”

Alicia laughed out loud. “That’s probably true.”

Raquel looked at Alicia and her lips curled into a wide grin.

“What?” Alicia said when she noticed Raquel’s gaze.

Raquel chuckled.

“I still have paint on my face, don’t I?” Alicia sighed.

“Yup.”

“Oh for god’s sake,” Alicia said, getting up and walking towards the bathroom.

At the last second, Raquel grabbed her wrist und pulled her back onto the couch again.

“Leave it,” she said and brushed Alicia’s cheek with the back of her hand. “It looks cute.”

Alicia rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”

Raquel smiled and Alicia grinned back. Oh, how she had missed seeing Alicia, being with her, being close to her. Only now that their faces were only inches apart from each other she realized how much Alicia had already become part of her life in a very short time. Being here with her felt so right, so essential, that she wondered how she had dealt with the separation for the past two weeks. In an impulse, almost like a natural reflex, Raquel leaned forward to kiss Alicia. Their lips barely brushed against each other because Alicia pulled away.

“We don’t have to kiss,” she said softly, a concerned look in her eyes.

“But I want to,” Raquel objected quietly, leaning forward again to put a kiss on Alicia lips and this time she didn’t back away. But then Raquel was the one who stopped for a second.

“Unless… _you_ don’t want to?”

Alicia chuckled. “Yes, of course I want to.”

“Okay, good”, Raquel sighed in relief and leaned in again, running her hand through Alicia’s hair this time while loosening her bun with a little flick of her hand. The only reaction was a muffled laugh.

Kissing Alicia felt good. It felt warm and comforting and after the events of the past two weeks, Raquel thought it was exactly what she needed. She wanted more of it, wanted to kiss her more, wanted to feel good and at home again, and there was an aching in her stomach, a sort of longing, that almost hurt but Raquel blamed the confusion and the mess of the past days for that. She kissed Alicia with more haste now, wanting more and more and more. And then, Alicia pulled away.

“Raquel…”

“What?”

“You’re crying.”

“I’m not –,“ Raquel stopped as she ran her hand over her face and realized her cheeks were wet. After a shock second, she leaned back on the couch, stunned.

“Hey,” Alicia said gently and extended her arm to comfort Raquel.

“I’m sorry,” Raquel whispered. “I didn’t even realize I…” A single sob escaped her lips.

“It’s okay,” Alicia said, moving a little closer, but careful to respect Raquel’s space.

Now the tears were silently flowing down Raquel’s cheeks. She tried to breath more steadily. What had just happened? Had she become a complete mess without realizing it? How had something so positive like kissing triggered such a negative reaction? Because kissing was good. Being with Alicia was good. She couldn’t explain what had happened.

“Here,” Alicia said, holding out a glass of water to her. Raquel hadn’t even noticed that Alicia had gotten up.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, reached for the glass and slowly took a sip, careful not to spill the water because her hands were shaking so much. Alicia sat back down next her, looking at her somewhat expectantly.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Raquel told her.

“Well,” Alicia started hesitantly. “It is normal to cry when you’re mourning someone.”

“But…,” Raquel started, having to gasp for air because her feelings were still having control over her body. “But I wasn’t even thinking about my father. I wanted to kiss you, I was really happy to kiss you.”

“Maybe that’s the point.”

“What?”

“Maybe your body was confused because there were so many different feelings inside of you and in response… you cried. A coping mechanism.”

Raquel put down the glass. “Maybe.”

“Better?”, Alicia asked.

“I think so.”

“Do you need anything?”

Raquel shook her head.

“Do you want me to take you home?”

Raquel shook her head again, this time more vehemently.

“Do you want to stay?”

All these questions were making Raquel dizzy. The pressure of having to decide anything right now was too much.

A smile spread on Alicia’s face. “Let’s take a walk,” she said.

Raquel nodded. Okay. She could do that.

“Where are we going?” Raquel asked after twenty minutes of walking. She had soon figured out that they weren’t simply taking a walk to get some fresh air, because Alicia was navigating them through the streets of Madrid.

“We’re almost there,” she said mysteriously.

They turned around a corner and Raquel sighed. “Templo de Debod, really?”

“What, the view is beautiful!”

“Yeah, but it’s so touristy.”

Alicia puffed. “Get over yourself.”

Templo de Debod was an Egyptian temple in the heart of Madrid. It was located in a park on a hill and many tourists found their way here every day so as a born and raised Madrileña Raquel had soon learned to avoid crowded places like this one. Most people weren’t here because of the temple though. They came to see the sun set behind the skyline of the city.

“Come on,” Alicia said, grabbed Raquel’s hand and pulled her towards the temple. Raquel reluctantly followed her to climb up the hill and when she reached the top Alicia had already spotted a bench to sit on. Raquel sighed and sat down next to her.

“See, there aren’t even that many people here,” Alicia said.

“Yes”, Raquel chuckled and crossed her arms. “Because it’s winter and it’s cold.”

“I can fix that,” Alicia said and moved closer to wrap her arm around Raquel. “Better?”

Raquel grinned. “Better.”

From the bench they had a perfect view of the city. Down beneath the hill, through the trees, Raquel saw the streets and buildings of Madrid, their little lights glowing in contrast to the setting sun. The sky was tinged in calm shades of blue and orange and the sun granted them a last bit of warmth before it was going to disappear. In the distance, Raquel saw the Palacio Real, majestically standing on a hill.

“What do you think?” Alicia asked.

“It’s beautiful,” Raquel admitted.

Alicia seemed very content with herself. “I think so too.”

“Thanks for bringing me here.”

In response, Alicia simply smiled and let her head sink down on Raquel’s shoulder. Raquel was surprised, but in a positive way. Showing intimacy in public wasn’t easy for Alicia, and Raquel felt a wave of affection for her flowing through her body. There weren’t many people here and the ones who were would probably still consider them close friends, nothing more than that, but Raquel appreciated the gesture. To be here together with Alicia, having her so close beside her, was all that she needed right now.

They sat there like that for a while, watching the sunset in the cold, their bodies craving the other’s warmth, until the sun had vanished and the only source of light in the dark where the street lanterns below. For the first time in a few days, Raquel felt at ease. She wasn’t restlessly pacing through the house, worrying if her mother and Laura were okay, if they needed anything. For the first time, she was being granted the possibility to unwind, to let herself fall. Because Alicia was here.

_She saw Alicia coming towards her little room in the tent from the corner of her eyes. She was snacking something, as if she wasn’t leading the most important investigation in the world right now. Raquel rolled her eyes. Whatever had happened earlier, Alicia seemed to be back to her inspectora persona._

_“Earlier, you asked me if my husband was too disgusted to sleep with me and I didn’t answer,” Alicia started, pacing up and down the room. “Well, no. I didn’t disgust him. Because I wasn’t a bitch back then.” She slammed her arms on the table and Raquel tried not to flinch. “But now I guess I am. And yeah, we had sex. We did it everywhere. And it’s fascinating how creative we were. I imagine you and the professor are more like a once a month kind of couple, right? And always missionary. Money can’t buy it all.”_

_So she was back to empty insults. Great._

_“All that poison inside of you is eating you away, Alicia. I can see it in your face.”_

_“What’s wrong? My face?” Alicia straightened up and pulled out her phone, pretending to watch herself on the screen. Raquel suppressed a sigh. The theatrics of Alicia’s negotiation tactics were making her irritated._

_“You’re not yourself,” Raquel said, thinking back to how private Alicia had handled all of her past relationships. And theirs. “All this talk about sex. What’s wrong? Is it the hormones? I don’t know. Download an app. There’s a million perverts who’d like to fuck a pregnant lady.”_

_Alicia scoffed. “I prefer getting to know the other person. I don’t date the first geek that I meet at a bar that gives me his phone and says …’Hey, gorgeous, why don’t you come with me to my warehouse and taste my cider? It’s really tasty.’”_

_Raquel exhaled. “You know what your problem is?”_

_“Tell me.” She sat back down again._

_“If your mask crumbles, everything else does. You’re a step away from a breakdown. And I get it, I get – “_

_Within a second Alicia had reached for Raquel’s hair and pulled her over the table towards her. Despite Raquel’s initial shock, she remained still, their eyes only inches apart. Raquel held her breath._

_“I’m not the one with the mask on.” With a push, Alicia let go off her again. Raquel felt her heart rate go up. She hadn’t known Alicia to be violent. Then again, a lot must have happened between sharing a bed with her and finding out that she tortured a young man for months._

_“Let’s see,”, Alicia said. “Earlier, mh, the two of us had a deal. You were holding the phone. Then you changed your mind. What happened?”_

_Raquel raised her eyebrows. “I made you waste your time while you were questioning me. I pretended you were breaking me little by little and that I was about to give in. In the meantime, he slipped through your fingers. He escaped. It’s called diversion tactics. And it worked.”_

_Alicia eyed her suspiciously and Raquel felt uneasy knowing to be subject of Alicia’s pierce gaze. Then she smiled. She wasn’t buying it. “You know what I think? Your little shepherd somehow found a way to make it here in time. And I’ll find out how.”_

_She turned around and once again, Raquel was left alone with her thoughts and the small hope, that soon, Sergio would get her out of here._

Leo let his tablet smash on the table with a bang. His fish sticks almost fell onto the floor.

“Finally!” he exclaimed. “Food!”

He sat down opposite of Raquel and Alicia, starting to stuff himself with fish sticks and spinach. “Enjoy,” Raquel said and the only response was a happy grumble. She tried to suppress a grin. It was her first day back at the academy and she had really been missing Leo’s presence.

Soon, however, Raquel’s mind wandered off and she picked at her food, lost in thought.

“You okay?” Alicia asked.

“Yeah,” Raquel assured her. “I just can’t stop thinking about that case-study we discussed in class earlier today.”

“The Bachmeier case?”

“Yes.”

“Which one was that?” Leo asked, his mouth full of food. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

Of course he hadn’t been listening. “Marianne Bachmeier,” Raquel elaborated. “She shot her daughter’s murderer on the day of the trial. Seven times.”

“Oof,” Leo exhaled. “Did he die?”

Alicia scoffed. “Of course he died. Do you want me to shoot you seven times in the back so you can see how it feels?”

“Calm down,” Leo laughed. “She could have shot him in the leg or something like that.”

“Nope,” Raquel said. “He died right away.”

“That’s tough,” Leo said.

“Yeah…”

Alicia shrugged. “I get it,” she said and poured herself a glass of coke.

“What do you mean ‘you get it’?” Raquel asked.

“I might have done the same.”

Raquel frowned.

“Well,” Alicia said, leaning back in her chair. “A man kidnaps your little seven-year-old daughter, probably also sexually abuses her and eventually kills her. Try _not_ to shoot that guy.”

Raquel rolled her eyes. “I understand why she did it, psychologically speaking,” she said. “Of course she was angry. She was desperate, she was mourning, she wanted revenge. But we can’t condone killing a person, no matter the circumstances. Except for self-defence, of course.”

Alicia shrugged.

“Who are we to think we’re authorized to impose our idea of a just punishment on our worst enemies?” Raquel carried on. “That’s why we have a neutral and objective justice system.”

Alicia narrowed her eyes. “Is it?”

“What?”

“Is it so objective?”

“Well,” Raquel said. “No, not always. It’s made by humans after all.”

Alicia took a bite of her sandwich. “See?”

Raquel scoffed. “What are you saying? That taking justice into one’s own hands is a better alternative to letting our justice system do its job?”

Alicia seemed unimpressed. “Sometimes.”

“So you think she was right to kill that man?”

Alicia smirked. “I’m just saying that there are cases in which it’s legitimate to break the law.”

“Which cases?”

“Okay,” Alicia said, flicking back her hair. “Let’s say a woman deals with drugs.”

“Then she’s guilty of drug trafficking.”

Alicia raised her index finger. “But she’s only doing it because she needs the money to take care of her sick mother.”

Raquel sighed. So this was where she was going with this. “Technically, she’s still guilty of drug trafficking.”

“Oh, so she should have left her mother to die?”

Raquel scoffed. “Don’t be so dramatic. What about health care?”

“Didn’t cover the need for assistance at home. The woman had to quit her job in order to take care of her mother.”

“What about her other relatives?”

“Dead.”

“Oh, come on!”

Alicia snickered and the tension decreased a bit. “I’m just trying to prove a point,” she said, playing with a strand of hair that had fallen out of her long ponytail.

“And what would that be?”

“That doing something illegal doesn’t necessarily make it morally wrong just because the law says so. You could ask ten people on the street and they would all tell you to go easy on her because she had more honourable motives than the average drug dealer.”

“Yeah, but there is room for negotiation in court.”

“Most of the time, there isn’t. People get arrested for acts of desperation and others don’t get arrested at all, yet they’re very much guilty and have no bad conscience. That’s where the justice system fails. That’s why sometimes, breaking the law isn’t the worst idea.”

Alicia seemed very content with her argument and leaned back in her chair.

Raquel sighed. “I see where the problem is, I do. But what’s the alternative? Are you telling me that mother was right to kill her daughter’s murderer? That’s hardly a good example of breaking the law. I’d rather trust our laws and judges.”

Alicia sat up straight. “Why are you so keen on defending our justice system? You are one of the most critical people I know.”

“I know it’s flawed,” Raquel said. “But we can acknowledge that and work on it. Vigilante justice is not the solution.”

“Following the rules isn’t either.”

Raquel turned back to her food. This was perhaps a simple discussion but something about Alicia challenging her every sentence was bothering her.

“What happened to her?” Leo interrupted them. “That woman… what happened to her?”

Raquel faltered. “Sorry, but did you pay attention at all? Did you even attend that class?”

Leo shrugged.

“She got sentenced to six years in prison and was released after three,” Raquel explained and turned to Alicia. “Do you think that’s where the system failed, too?”

Alicia smirked. “No. I guess she had to live with the consequences. I’m just saying that, in some cases, it is okay to carry out your own sense of justice.”

“But where does it stop? Where is the line?” Raquel insisted, realizing she couldn’t let this go but Alicia only watched her with an amused expression.

Raquel looked to Leo for help who simply raised his eyebrows. She sighed. Leo didn’t really care about the politics of the field he was studying to work in. Sometimes Raquel thought he was simply in it for the fun of shooting a gun.

“There are reasons that there are laws that prohibit arbitrary acts of punishment by individuals,” she carried on, now not even trying to hide the annoyance in her voice. “Where would we get with that? Then we can go back to torturing criminals for information. Would you want that?”

Alicia’s expression turned soft. “No, of course not.” She placed her hand over Raquel’s. “Raquel, you’re this incredibly moral person, who believes that doing the right thing will automatically change everything for the better. I love that about you, I do. I just… I can’t believe the same thing. I think some people benefit from our justice system and others don’t. Sometimes I’m more in favour of actually challenging the system and testing out its limits. Of course I don’t agree with randomly torturing or killing people without a fair trial. But sometimes breaking the law can make a point.”

Raquel took a deep breath. “But why did you decide to become a police woman then? Why work for a system that is so flawed?”

It was supposed to be a simple question but it came out quiet and shy.

Alicia shrugged. “Damage control.”

Raquel turned to her food again. Alicia then proceeded to mock Leo for his Hawaiian shirt – rightfully so – and Raquel observed her from the side. She sighed. There was something about having your beliefs questioned by the people close to you that made the setback feel even worse.

Raquel had dreaded the afternoon lesson all day long. They had P.E. and she hadn’t been to the academy for two weeks. Of course, destiny was not on her side today, because as they entered the hallway to the gym, they ran into Señor Sánchez.

“Ah, Señorita Murillo, glad to see you’re back,” he said with a cocky voice. “Then I can finally test you on that training exercise.”

Raquel stopped in her tracks. When should she have practiced for that?

“But Señor,” Leo said. “She hasn’t been to school in two weeks.”

Señor Sánchez looked Raquel up and down and waved his hand. “She is here now, isn’t she?”

“But Señor,” Alicia chimed in. “Her father just died.”

“Yes, I was informed about that,” Señor Sánchez said and took a step towards Raquel. “But seeing as she is here now – and I think Señorita Murillo can speak for herself – she is deemed fit enough to perform, right, Señorita?”

Raquel swallowed. “Yes, Señor.” What else could she have said?

“Oh, come on,” Alicia muttered under her breath.

Señor Sánchez turned to her. “Is there anything you want to say, Señorita Sierra? Need I remind you that you barely made the mark a week ago when I tested you on self-defence tactics?”

Alicia grunted and pulled Raquel away from Señor Sánchez towards the locker rooms.

“Fuck him,” she whispered under her breath as Raquel stumbled down the hallway with her. “This class is una puta mierda.”

“Shush,” Raquel made because Alicia had gotten considerably louder while talking and she didn’t know if Señor Sánchez was still watching them.

Alicia scoffed and kicked open the door to the women’s locker room.

“Barely made the mark,” she mocked Señor Sánchez’ words. “I nailed that fucking self-defence training.”

She kicked the trash bin in the corner while Raquel proceeded to undress. She was too nervous to say anything.

Alicia realized Raquel wasn’t participating in her outburst. “Will you be okay?” she asked.

“No,” Raquel said. She took a deep breath and threw her hands in the air. “How am I supposed to know these defence strategies by now? How? ‘I’m sorry mom, I can’t come to the funeral because I have to train for school’?” Raquel tossed her shirt into her bag. “This is not fair!”

“I know, it isn’t,” Alicia agreed.

Raquel stopped to undress and sat down on a bench, trying to gather herself for a second. “Maybe I came back too soon,” she said, burying her face in her hands. “This is too much, I can’t do it.”

Alicia kneeled down. “Listen to me,” she said, placing both her hands on Raquel’s shoulders. “I know you can do it.”

“How?” Raquel complained. “I was miserable when we practiced together, you saw it with your own eyes.”

“Well, we were both miserable and then we were busy doing other things, weren’t we?” Alicia smirked at her and Raquel couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

Then she grew serious again. “But I don’t know what I’m doing. I am going to fail!”

“Raquel,” Alicia said, looking her deep into her eyes. “You know the moves, you know how they work, I have seen it. It’s going to be fine this time. We are going to do it together and it’s going to work and you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because this time we’re not arguing with each other, we’re not fighting each other. This time, we’re a team.”

Raquel took a deep breath. “I guess I have no other choice.”

“You’ll be fine,” Alicia said, embracing her in a hug. “You’ll be fine.”

Alicia’s words calmed her down a bit and she nodded. “Okay,” she whispered to reassure herself. “I’ll be fine.”

Of course Señor Sánchez waited until the end of class to let Raquel present the defence moves she was supposed to know by now. For two hours, Raquel couldn’t concentrate on anything they were doing and even Leo couldn’t make her laugh about one of his stupid jokes. By the end of the lesson, Señor Sánchez let everybody run laps for fifteen minutes and when they were done, Raquel was simply exhausted. She didn’t have to look into a mirror to know that her face was red like a tomato and her shirt reeked of sweat.

“Señorita Murillo,” Señor Sánchez called out to her as everybody else left. “Whenever you’re ready.”

At least he wouldn’t make everybody watch.

Immediately, Alicia was next to Raquel. “I’ll be her training partner,” she announced.

“Excellent,” Señor Sánchez said but he sounded unimpressed. “Then show me what you’ve got.”

This time, Raquel really did feel more at ease. Alicia was here. She knew her. She could trust her. They had a sense of each other’s movements. Hell, they had slept together, they could successfully do some simple self-defence moves.

They presented three different tactics, each with Alicia as the attacker. Raquel’s reaction was lacking in speed and her movements were all a bit clumsy due to the lack of practice but all in all, she thought she had done a satisfying job. Something you could work with.

Señor Sánchez stayed quiet the entire time, which was unusual for him, and took notes on a clipboard, his reactions only consisting of a few nods or headshakes here and there. Raquel had no idea what he was thinking. When they were done, they both looked at him, expectantly.

“So?” Alicia finally said, her voice sharp with a hint of annoyance in it.

“You passed,” he said, looking at Raquel and she closed her eyes in relief. “For now.”

Had that last part really been necessary?

They met Leo on their way to the locker rooms. “I watched it. You passed, didn’t you?”

Raquel scoffed. “Barely.”

“That hijo de puta,” Alicia cursed. “She did well. He’s just very into degrading his students. That stupid bastard.” She punched the wall next to her and cursed immediately after, her hand shaking in pain.

Raquel couldn’t suppress a smile. “For someone who’s only here for damage control, you definitely seem to care a lot.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Alicia objected and Raquel grinned.

“Let’s ignore that bastard, he’s not worth complaining about,” Leo said. “We have to celebrate this! I have still got some wine left at home.”

“Alright,” said Raquel. “We’ll meet you outside.”

Only when Raquel stepped under the shower and the warm water touched her skin, she was able to calm down again. This had definitely been too much stress for her first day back at the academy. She turned around to Alicia who was showering on the other side of the communal shower and flashed her a smile.

“What?” Alicia grinned.

“Thank you,” Raquel said.

“For what?”

“For getting me through this.”

“Uh-uh.” Alicia raised her index finger. “That was your accomplishment. I didn’t do anything.”

Raquel smiled. “Well, you did.”

Alicia grinned. “You would have succeeded on your own, I am sure of that.”

Raquel wasn’t so sure of that, but she didn’t object. She let the water drops splash on her face and closed her eyes, and she was glad, that they were the only two women in their class, so she didn’t have to bother with a full and hectic communal shower.

And then it hit her.

They were the only two women in their class. No one was going to come in here. With a mischievous smirk on her face, Raquel looked to Alicia, who had her back turned to her, her eyes facing the wall. Raquel slowly approached her while admiring her beautiful figure, her wet skin shining in the light and her red hair that aesthetically framed her back. Raquel took one more step in order to touch Alicia’s hips and put a soft kiss on her neck.

If Alicia was surprised, she didn’t let it show. She only chuckled and turned her face towards Raquel.

“What are you doing?” she asked, a playful look in her face.

Raquel raised her eyebrows. “Can’t you see that?”

She pressed another kiss to Alicia’s neck and worked her way up to Alicia’s lips where her gesture was finally returned.

“Mh,” Raquel made dreamily and closed her eyes, not just because the water running over their heads made it difficult to keep them open.

She wanted more of this. More kissing, more touching, more Alicia. She took a step forward, manoeuvring Alicia backwards so that her back met the wall, and continued to kiss her.

“Raquel,” a muffled moan came from her lips.

Raquel giggled.

“Raquel,” Alicia made again. “What if someone comes in?”

“Who?” Raquel asked, her hands wandering down from Alicia’s shoulders to her breasts. She squeezed them lightly with the palm of her hands and saw how Alicia’s eyelids flickered in response.

“I don’t know,” Alicia breathed. “The next class, a teacher, a janitor, a cleaner?”

Raquel chuckled. “Highly unusual.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Neither do you.”

Alicia grinned. “Your argumentation is not convincing.”

“Well… but this is,” Raquel said, gesturing to their naked bodies.

Alicia laughed. “You’re unbelievable.” She leaned forward to kiss Raquel again, and now she too was exploring Raquel’s naked body, her breasts, her butt and Raquel was enjoying every single touch. The water was still raining down on both of them, surrounding their entangled bodies. Raquel’s hand slid further down but Alicia stopped her.

“Not here,” she whispered. “Later.”

Raquel suppressed a sigh and nodded. “Okay.”

Alicia smiled and kissed Raquel one more time. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

When they came out of the locker room, Leo was the only person left waiting in the hallway.

“What took you so long?”

Raquel and Alicia started to giggle at the same time.

“What is up with you two?” he asked and eyed them suspiciously.

“Nothing.” Raquel shrugged. “Are we getting that wine, or not?”


	10. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, 
> 
> here's chapter 10 - finally! I hope you're all doing well!
> 
> A big thank you goes to my favorite smut-expert Evendale for helping me with the last scene and giving me so many valuable suggestions! ♥️
> 
> And as always, a massive thank you to thegirloverseas for reading, fixing my mistakes and making the story so much better with her ideas as well as for her company and presence in general. ♥️
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know what you think - I love long comments (and appreciate every single one of them).

“When are we meeting for the party tonight?” Raquel asked.

They were laying on Alicia’s bed, doing something between making out and laying around lazily.

Alicia turned her head to Raquel. “You’re not staying until tonight?”

“Unfortunately, no. I want to check in with my mum and my sister later.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just feel like we need to spend some quality time together as a family.” Raquel sighed and let herself fall back into the cushions, directing her gaze at the ceiling. “My mother is thinking about moving back to Almazán when Laura has graduated this summer.”

“Oh?” Alicia turned around to face Raquel fully and rested her head on her elbow.

“Yeah… It’s her home town, all of her sisters and some of her really close friends still live there.”

“And you… don’t want her to go?” Alicia asked.

Raquel smiled. “Actually, I think it will be good for her. Who knows where Laura and I will live in a few years? I don’t want her to be lonely.”

Alicia nodded. “Yeah…”

“But I don’t want her to feel like our family is breaking apart because of papá’s death.”

“It won’t,” Alicia said and smiled.

“Well,” Raquel said. “You don’t know that.”

“Right. But I know you and you’re not going to let that happen.”

“Probably.” Raquel grinned. “See you there at ten?”

“Alright,” Alicia replied. “Don’t forget to eat at home because tonight we’re getting wasted.”

Raquel laughed. She was actually on board with that. They had spent the past days writing their first exams in the academy, so saying that the last few weeks had been stressful was an understatement. They had studied for hours each day, most of the time till deep into the night and even Leo had spent most of his free time at his desk. Now that the pressure had eased off, and Raquel had even started feeling good about the exams, they deserved some fun. This semester’s closing party was the perfect occasion.

Raquel propped herself up on a pillow. “Listen…”

“What?”

“I know you’re not very keen on everybody knowing that we’re together…”

Alicia rolled her eyes.

“… but I really want to tell Leo about us. He’s my best friend and I already feel like I have been keeping this from him for way too long.”

Alicia exhaled. “Okay.”

Raquel was surprised. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Alicia said, sitting up straight. “You’re right. Asking you to keep this from your best friend is not fair.”

That had been easier than anticipated. “Thanks,” Raquel said.

She leaned over to kiss Alicia who closed her eyes and hummed in response.

“I could do this all day,” she said.

“Me too.”

Raquel sighed and pulled back, avoiding Alicia who tried to pull her back onto the bed.

“See you later!”

Alicia groaned and let herself fall back into the sheets. Raquel snickered. She could be so dramatic at times.

Raquel hadn’t been to any party or drunk alcohol for a few weeks – partly because of the exams, partly because of her father’s death. But today, she thought, today she was ready to give in to the temptation, let go and simply celebrate. When she arrived in front of the student dorms she could already feel the bass of the music in her stomach. Then the door opened and the sudden loud music filled the previously dark and quiet evening air. A guy who was balancing two trays full of shots in both hands stumbled outside and caught his belt loop on the door handle.

“Shit!” he exclaimed upon realizing he was stuck and barely managed to balance the trays on his hands.

Raquel knew that voice. It was Valentino. He noticed the presence of another person and recognition dawned on him as Raquel came closer.

“Raquel,” he said with effort. “Care to help me out here?”

How convenient. Raquel looked him up and down, indulging in his helpless state and smiled. “No.”

“Oh, come on, you can see I’m stuck here,” he complained and Raquel could smell the alcohol coming from his breath. She was disgusted.

“I can see that very clearly,” she confirmed, her voice strong as ever. “Thanks for the shots though,” she added and grabbed herself two shot glasses from the tray. She could still hear Valentino cursing as she vanished inside.

“Raquel!” came Alicia’s voice and Raquel spotted her in a corner with some of their classmates. She headed over and handed her one of the shots.

“Cheers!” Raquel said. “To finishing exams.”

“To finishing exams,” Alicia said solemnly and winked. “And to us,” she added quietly.

“To us,” Raquel repeated and poured the alcohol down her throat. Almost immediately, a tingling warmth spread through her body.

“What did Leo say?” Alicia asked, glancing towards their classmates who were occupied with talking about the exams.

Raquel shrugged. “I haven’t seen him yet.”

“Okay,” Alicia said. “Just give me a heads-up before he rips my head off for stealing you from him.”

Raquel laughed. “Why would he do that?”

“You’re his best friend. He is kind of protective of you.”

“He is?”

“Uh-huh!”

Raquel snorted. “When?”

“All the time!” Alicia exclaimed. “He may be a bit of a prankster sometimes but I saw him give shit to Valentino at least five times after that idiot betrayed you.”

Raquel grinned at the thought of Valentino still being stuck at the door. Had it only been a few weeks since she thought she was in love with that guy? Being with Alicia made everything else seem unimportant, like a distant memory, while right now, everything was bright.

“And he was so worried about you when your father died, I actually had to make sure he got home safe one day.”

“What? Why?”

Alicia shrugged. “He was all over the place. I didn’t really trust him to find his way to the subway station on his own.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Oof,” Raquel said. “Well, now you know who you’re competing with so put in some effort.”

Alicia snickered. “Oh, shut up.”

“We need to drink some more,” Raquel stated.

“Oh, great, I see you are totally on board with my plan to get wasted.”

“Oh yes,” Raquel confirmed and grabbed herself another drink.

Soon, the two of them were deeply drunk and around them the music was getting louder and louder while the conversations got dumber and dumber. By now, the room had filled with almost every aspiring police officer in the academy and the floor vibrated from all the people dancing and stomping their feet to the music. Finally, Raquel spotted Leo somewhere on the dance floor and she couldn’t help but laugh because he had apparently managed to get more drunk than them in even less time. Now he was dancing through the crowd, while greeting as many people as possible and occasionally performing some impressive pirouettes with the people around him. Watching him, Raquel longed for that confidence, that nonchalance, the way he expressed his happiness with his body on the dance floor.

“Come dance with me”, Raquel said, interrupting Alicia mid-sentence.

“What?”

“Dance with me!”

Alicia shook her head. “No.”

Raquel never really knew what Alicia was thinking. Didn’t she want to dance with her because people could suspect something? Or was this not something she deemed suitable for tonight, maybe even silly and childish? Usually Raquel would have been annoyed but tonight, she was confident she could persuade Alicia.

“I think you need some more alcohol,” she teased and reached for the bottle of whiskey she had hijacked from the bar a few minutes ago.

“Nooo!” Alicia exclaimed, warding off Raquel’s attempts to bring the bottle to Alicia’s lips. “I can’t possibly drink more or I am going to get sick.”

Raquel came a step closer and laid her hands over Alicia’s shoulders. “Then maybe I have to convince you in a different way,” she said quietly.

“Raquel,” Alicia said, her voice low and trembling, almost as if to admonish her for being so close, too close, for Alicia’s taste, especially when it came to showing affection in public.

“Don’t worry,” Raquel continued. “I am not going to kiss you. You have to earn that by dancing with me.”

Alicia grinned.

The song stopped and there was a sudden silence, so Raquel leaned forward to whisper in Alicia’s ear.

“I am not going to kiss you. But I can tell you all the things I want to do to you tonight.”

Alicia let out a nervous snicker and Raquel enjoyed the pleasure of having flustered her.

“Tonight,” she whispered in her ear, “I am going to kiss you… And then, I am going to take off all your clothes…” Alicia’s breathing quickened. “… and after that, I am going to take off all my clothes and join you on your bed. I’m going to kiss you some more…on your lips, your neck, your breasts, your stomach… _everywhere_.”

“Raquel,” Alicia exhaled.

“Would you like that?”

“You’re killing me right now,” she managed to say.

“Dance with me.”

A new song started to play and Raquel pulled away from Alicia, who seemed to be drawn to her now. She took her hand, pulling her towards the dance floor. Alicia shook her head but she was grinning, her eyes glistening with desire.

An upbeat song was playing and soon, Raquel and Alicia found themselves in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by people. But Raquel had eyes only for Alicia. Their bodies were moving in unison to the music and Raquel noticed how good of a dancer Alicia actually was. Every single one of her movements looked so effortless, so organic, so damn sexy. She smiled at her and Alicia grinned back, and Raquel wasn't sure anymore who was seducing who. She wanted to live in this song forever. If it didn’t end, this moment wouldn’t have to end and this feeling of being able to do anything would remain forever, the music a safe bubble in which the whole world was wonderful. Raquel tried to take it all in: the music, the bass that made her heart jump up and down, Alicia’s movements, her body, her joyful laugh and the way she looked at her, so careless, so free. While dancing, Raquel’s hand brushed Alicia’s arm, then her hand, her hip, again and again, and each touch sent electric shivers through Raquel’s body. She wanted more. When their gazes crossed the next time, Raquel couldn’t take it any longer. She took Alicia’s hand and pulled her off the dance floor, guiding her towards the exit, and she followed with an excited laugh.

They stumbled into the cold night air and as the door closed behind them with a bang, the music became ambient noise, only their heavy breaths and giggles filling the silence outside. No one else was here.

Raquel pressed Alicia against the wall of the building and kissed her passionately. Alicia didn’t hesitate to return the gesture.

“I thought you weren’t going to kiss me until later tonight,” Alicia panted when Raquel let go off her for a moment.

Raquel grinned. “I changed my mind.”

Alicia smirked in response. “Is that so?”

“Well yeah, you danced with me. You’ve earned yourself the right to be kissed by me.”

“Gosh, I’m so lucky,” Alicia teased her.

“Yes, you are,” Raquel insisted with a laugh in her voice and she pressed her lips against Alicia’s once more as she ran her hand through her hair.

The feeling was exhilarating. Raquel always loved making out with Alicia but there was something about doing it here, in this hidden space during the party, that made it even more exciting. Being drunk obviously contributed to her joy as well. She didn’t even feel the cold air surrounding them. There was only Alicia, kissing Alicia and the feeling of her kissing her back, then Alicia’s hands in her hair, on her back and finally her butt.

Raquel snickered. “Someone’s eager today,” she got out between kisses.

“That’s what you’re doing to me,” Alicia whispered and in the next moment, Raquel was all over her again. She was kissing her with so much more desire for more, with a sudden urge now. She was kissing her lips, her neck, then made her way down to her breasts when –

“What. The. Hell?”

In shock, Raquel and Alicia pulled away from each other, looking for the sudden intruder of their make-out session.

Standing there, only a couple of meters away, his mouth and eyes wide open, was Leo.

“Oh,” Raquel let out softly.

“What?” Leo exclaimed again, his gaze drifting back and forth from Raquel to Alicia. He blinked, seemingly trying to gather himself from the shock. “Wha– How?” he said, his voice a shrieking sound in the silence.

Raquel heard Alicia suppress her laughter – with rather poor success – and she couldn’t help but let out a short, weird-sounding laugh herself. “Busted,” she said, trying to put on an innocent face. How would he react to this?

Leo came a step closer, his expression showing confusion and… suspicion?

“You two are together?”

Raquel looked to Alicia and they both nodded.

“Since when?” His voice sounded weirdly mechanic.

“It’s been a few weeks now,” Raquel replied, growing slightly scared of his opinion on her new relationship.

Leo simply stared at them for a few moments. Then he shook his head and let out a soft laugh.

“How could I have missed this?” He pointed towards the two of them. “Of course!”

Alicia and Raquel eyed at each other, eyebrows raised.

“You are constantly talking about each other! You,” he pointed to Raquel. “You were so, so unhappy when you had that fight, almost heartbroken, a-and, you,” he was pointing to Alicia now. “You were suddenly so… so soft and not at all the sassy Alicia I got to know a few months ago.”

“Guess we weren’t that inconspicuous,” Alicia mumbled.

But Leo wasn’t done putting two and two together. “The sneaking around,” he said breathlessly. “The way you were constantly ditching me?” He paused. “I thought you didn’t like me anymore!”

“No!” both of them burst out. “We like you.”

“You like me!” Leo exclaimed happily. “You like me!”

Raquel burst out laughing.

“And you two are together!”

“Yes!”

“This is amazing news!”

“Which one?”

“Both!”

He jumped and came closer, pulling the two of them in a close embrace while jumping up and down. Raquel and Alicia both lost it and burst out laughing, joining him and soon they were a laughing, jumping mess.

The party went on for several more hours and then Alicia and Raquel took a cab, eager to continue what they had started at the party, but when they arrived at Alicia’s place, they fell onto the bed and were sound asleep only seconds later.

_Raquel was restless. She had given up on trying to figure out what was going on. She couldn’t hear what the police officers were saying anyway, couldn’t interpret their gestures, their expressions. As a result, she had only found her anxiety putting down roots in her brain and had thus forced herself to stare at the table in front of her, trying to keep her mind free of all the terrible thoughts about what could be happening inside the bank right now. About what the future would hold. For her. For Sergio. For their family._

_It wasn’t working. The monster inside her brain kept on growing, feeding off her cluelessness and fear._

_Suddenly, Raquel noticed a shift in the mood. Barely noticeable at first, but it was there. Then everything turned silent when all the police officers stopped their work and turned to the screens on the wall, watching what was happening with high anticipation. Something must have happened. And Raquel needed to know what it was._

_Her eyes fixed to the screens, trying to see more, she stood up without thinking about it._

_“What is happening?” she asked, but as soon as she wanted to step out of her little corner of the tent, Antoñanzas held her back._

_“Get her back inside,” Tamayo yelled but Raquel tried to withstand Antoñanzas’ grip. Why were they all so silent, so… shocked? The gang couldn’t be escaping yet, it was too soon. What could possibly draw this much attention?_

_“Let her,” Alicia said to Tamayo, her voice so soft in contrast to his angry outburst. “Out of respect.”_

_Raquel’s heart sank._

_No._

_Who was it?_

_She barely felt how Antoñanzas let go off her, her mind fixated on the screens that were drawing her in, making her walk towards them as if in a trance. Alicia and Tamayo stepped aside to make room in front of the monitors. It took her a few seconds to make sense of the scene that unfolded before her eyes._

_A funeral. Four people in black carrying a wooden casket down the street._

Nairobi. La puta ama. 1986 – 2019.

_“No,” Raquel whispered. Not Nairobi._

_Immediately, her eyes filled with tears. Her lips started to tremble. How did it happen? Who did it? What about the others?_

_Not Nairobi._

_The first time Raquel had met her, Nairobi had surprised her. She had been the first to declare she’d help saving Rio. Her sense of integrity, her sense for justice had convinced the others to participate in the end. And her enthusiasm and commitment to the plan had not wavered once while they were in the monastery. Nairobi had cared deeply about the plan and about each and every one around her. She had always been willing to do anything it took to get this right. Raquel had admired her for that. And after all those afternoons spent together in the monastery, the shared dinners and occasional bedroom parties, Raquel had actually considered her a close friend._

_And now she was just… gone?_

_Raquel felt like she wasn’t getting enough air, like her body was held captive by the shock as she watched them carry the coffin down the street while the crowd stood still, paying its last respects to Nairobi. The scene that had unfolded before her eyes, this silent funeral amidst a dirty war, was unlike anything she’d ever seen before. But Nairobi deserved a proper goodbye._

_There was no point in trying to hold back her grief. She finally let the tears fall down her cheeks and her chest was heaving with every single sob while her lungs were desperately craving for air. Raquel knew that everyone could hear her crying and once again, she became aware of the new order in this tent. Now, she was a traitor among her former colleagues, mourning the death of her friend, who meant nothing to everyone else. Nairobi’s death meant one more enemy was eliminated. One step closer to winning this war. And Alicia? Raquel knew that Alicia stood right behind her, watching her. In this moment, it was painfully clear to Raquel that she was still a prisoner here and whatever was left of Alicia’s good-naturedness wouldn’t exceed the gesture of letting her mourn her dead ally. Alicia was untouched by Nairobi's death, untouched by Raquel's grief. She had granted her the chance to grieve, but more than that was not part of the deal. Once, they had cared about each other. That was no longer the case._

“Wow! You look… extremely handsome,” Alicia said.

Raquel watched herself in the mirror of the changing room, moving her body to inspect her new outfit from different angles.

“You think so?” she asked, a concerned look on her face. Somehow, that police uniform looked bulky on her, while Alicia managed to appear elegant.

“ _Extremely_ handsome,” Alicia insisted and winked at her.

Raquel grinned. “It does feel good. Powerful.”

“Right?”

Alicia moved next to her and they observed each other in the mirror. Both of them wore the usual Madrileñian police attire, a bullet proof west, a belt equipped with a baton and handcuffs as well as a holster for the gun. The latter was still empty for this was only a fitting. Still, seeing what would one day be their reality was thrilling.

“This is great,” Raquel said. “We’re not beginners anymore, we’re older now. We get to wear uniforms.”

“Yeah, we’re so mature now,” Alicia mocked her, but Raquel ignored it.

“And…,” she said, pausing for dramatic effect, “we get to shoot a gun today.”

Alicia snickered. “Someone’s excited.”

“Oh yeah. I can’t wait.”

“Let’s go then.”

It was true. Being a police student in their second semester came with new tasks and privileges. They were moving on to the more practical part of their education now, which meant they would occasionally join police officers on duty and learn how to defend themselves properly – with a weapon. Today was the day everyone had been waiting for: the day of their first shooting lesson.

They were gathered in the shooting range, lined up along the shooting booths, looking at the targets in the distance. Each of them was equipped with headphones for ear protection and, most importantly, a gun – that they were under no circumstances to use until their instructor said so. He went up and down the line of aspiring police officers, eying them suspiciously and explaining every step of firing a gun. Raquel listened closely, eager to memorize everything he said, while Alicia next to her was fiddling with her belt.

“Hey, pay attention,” Raquel whispered.

Alicia exhaled. “I’m bored. I want to shoot now.”

Raquel grinned. How could two people as different as Alicia and her be so deeply in love with each other?

“Okay, who wants to go first?” Señor Rivera asked.

Leo volunteered and Raquel could see from his expression that he was equally excited as she. He stood up straight, his gun aimed at the target, while Señor Rivera gave him some final notes. Then he pulled the trigger and missed the target by a few meters.

Alicia chuckled and Raquel rammed her elbow into her side. “Don’t be so mean.”

Leo had already taken off his ear protection though and shot Alicia an annoyed glance.

“So you think you can do better, Señorita Sierra?” Señor Rivera asked. “Go ahead, please.”

Alicia grinned and moved to the line. Where did she get that confidence from? One last flick of the hair, then she put on her headphones, took the gun, aimed it at the target and fired a shot without thinking twice. It hit the red area right in the middle.

Admiring silence filled the shooting range.

“You can’t tell me this is your first time shooting, señorita,” Señor Rivera said.

Alicia shrugged and Raquel knew from that faint yet content smirk in her face that it really wasn’t her first time. She shook her head in disbelief. As per usual, Alicia was full of secrets.

“Where did you learn that?” Raquel asked when Alicia stood next to her again. Before she could answer however, Señor Rivera ordered her to the shooting stand.

Raquel took her time preparing for that first shot. Alicia was a tough act to follow but she had seen by how far Leo had missed the target and so she tried to take her time remembering all the different steps and important details Señor Rivera had told them about. The gun felt heavy in her hands, heavier than she had thought it to be, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. She liked feeling the weight of this weapon in her palms, liked the feeling of control it gave her. That’s what she felt in this moment: control. And not in a power-driven way – it was reassuring, it felt right, quite natural actually. Raquel focussed on the target in front of her, held up the gun with as much steadiness as she could master and pushed her weight down for a proper stand. One last look at the target, then she pulled the trigger.

She had anticipated the recoil, but she was still taken by surprise and had to take a step back. The shot was precise however and the bullet hit the target right in the middle.

“Very good,” Señor Rivera said, his voice raised in admiration. “Was this your first time holding a gun?”

“Yes.”

“Very impressive, indeed. I haven’t seen a police officer in training shoot this well on their first try in years. You’re a natural.”

Raquel tried very hard not to show the joy these words gave her but she was utterly pleased with herself. She had a feeling, this semester was going to be good.

The lesson went on like this. Soon, they were allowed to practice in the individual shooting booths and Señor Rivera went around, telling them how to improve. Leo soon managed to hit the target and almost performed a dance of joy while Raquel and Alicia were alternating between shooting at the target, each of them not missing a single shot. They ended up being top of the class, being praised again by Señor Rivera and Raquel couldn’t be more content as the lesson ended.

“Where did you learn how to shoot a gun?” Raquel asked as they entered the dressing room again.

Alicia simply grinned at her and started to rummage in her bag.

“Oh come on, don’t be so mysterious,” Raquel complained.

“I’m not being mysterious,” Alicia brushed her off.

“Uh-huh, yes, you are. Come on, tell me.”

Alicia sighed. “My brother taught me.” She shrugged. “So what?”

“When? Why?”

Alicia shook her head at Raquel, smiling. “Stop being so curious.”

“Why?”

“Raquel,” Alicia said, an admonishing undertone in her voice.

Raquel laughed. “You can’t blame me for asking. You never tell me anything on your own.”

“What is there to tell?”

“I don’t know? Being able to shoot a gun is not that common in Spain. You never tell me anything about your past.”

“Because it’s not important.” She turned to her stuff again and took off her shirt, leaving her only in a bra.

Raquel sighed. How did Alicia know almost everything about Raquel’s childhood and upbringing, was even on first-name basis with her mom, while Raquel knew nothing about Alicia? Her past and family were a mystery to her.

“What does your brother do again?”

“He works at a car repair,” Alicia said curtly and stopped what she was doing, facing Raquel. “Now stop the interrogation. Aren’t you going to change?”

Raquel grinned. “I thought maybe I could wear this for a little while longer?”

“You’re really digging the police look, aren’t you?”

“It just feels so good,” Raquel admitted.

Alicia smirked. “It certainly looks good,” she said and grabbed Raquel’s belt, drawing her closer. “And very sexy,” she whispered before closing the gap between their lips and kissing her deeply. Raquel returned the kiss and wrapped her arms around Alicia, making her way over her almost naked back towards her flowing hair. Alicia hummed happily in response.

“Are we going back to my place now?” she asked.

“Definitely.”

As they left the changing room and stepped onto the hallway, Leo was the only person left – again.

“Oh come on,” he groaned as he saw that Raquel hadn’t even changed. “You can’t keep making out in changing rooms if I always end up waiting for you in the hallway.”

“Wanna join us?” Alicia countered.

“No way,” Leo exclaimed. “You wish,” he added silently as they walked towards the exit.

Alicia chuckled. “Nah, I can’t complain,” she said and wrapped her arm around Raquel’s waist.

Back at Alicia’s place they didn’t take long to find their way to the bedroom where Alicia pushed Raquel onto the bed immediately.

Raquel giggled. “You are eager today.”

“Well, there’s quite a lot of undressing to do,” Alicia countered.

“What, you don’t like this outfit?” Raquel laughed and straightened the police uniform.

“No, I love it,” Alicia said and joined Raquel on the bed only to pull her closer by the shirt collar and press a kiss to her lips. “I could only love it more if it was laying on the floor.”

Raquel chuckled. “I am not sure it is appropriate to say something like that to a police officer.” She playfully raised her eyebrows. “What do you have to say for yourself, Señorita Sierra?”

Alicia grinned. “I would have to say…,” she started and traced Raquel’s jaw line with her fingertips, making her way down to the buttons of her shirt. “Less talking and more undressing.”

She came closer and unbuttoned the top part of Raquel’s shirt with both her hands. She moved to kiss Raquel but Raquel turned her head in the last second.

“So disrespectful…” she said and shook her head while trying to uphold an admonishing expression. “That calls for punishment.”

“Oh, really,” Alicia said, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “And how do you think you could – “

 _Click_.

Alicia’s eyes widened as the realisation of what had just happened dawned on her. Her gaze wandered to her right hand which was now handcuffed to the bedpost at the top of the bed.

Raquel shot her a defiant smile. A speechless Alicia was a rarity and Raquel enjoyed every second of it. “You were going to say…?”

Alicia collected herself again and rattled at the handcuffs but the design of the bedframe didn’t allow them to come off. She was stuck. Raquel pulled the keys out of her pocket and let them jingle in the air. Alicia reached for them with her free hand but Raquel had anticipated that move and quickly got off the bed. Alicia groaned and squeezed her eyes together, however, Raquel could clearly see a smile forming on her lips.

“Señorita Murillo, did you steal these handcuffs?”

Raquel shrugged. “Let’s say I am just temporarily borrowing them.”

Alicia shook her head in disbelief. “Am I a bad influence? You… suddenly breaking the rules…”

“Well, that hardly counts as breaking the rules.”

Alicia chuckled. “I don’t know, seems pretty serious to me. Stealing handcuffs and cuffing your girlfriend to the bed? What’s next?”

“I’m glad you ask,” Raquel grinned and tucked away the keys in her back pocket. Then, she approached the bed again and climbed onto Alicia’s lap. “Maybe some of this,” she said, pressing a kiss to Alicia’s neck. “Or this,” she continued and her lips made her way towards Alicia’s jaw line, her cheek, her lips. Alicia moaned and returned the kiss, while running her free hand through Raquel’s hair, then down her back to her butt and –

“No!” Raquel exclaimed as she realised what Alicia’s plan was. But it was too late for she had already snatched the keys out of Raquel’s back pocket, a triumphant smile on her face. Raquel giggled as she reached for Alicia’s hand and – because of Alicia’s limited range of motion – took the keys right back from her. Both of them laughed while Alicia was getting a hold of Raquel, still trying to reach for the keys and they wrestled with each other on the bed until Raquel finally tossed the keys to the other end of the room.

“Oopsie,” she said, under tears of laughter and completely out of breath.

“You’re unbelievable,” Alicia exhaled, her chest heaving from the effort.

Raquel chuckled and pressed another kiss to Alicia’s lips. “I think I’m funny,” she said.

“Very funny,” Alicia said ironically. “Now give me the keys.”

Alicia was turned on, Raquel could see it in her eyes, her sweaty neckline, in the way she impatiently tugged at the handcuffs. She wanted more. She wanted to act, wanted to seduce, not wait for someone else to do it.

“I think you need to learn a lesson in patience first.”

“Oh, come on!”

“You can’t tell me you’re not enjoying this,” Raquel whispered and raised her eyebrows.

Alicia took a deep breath, but she didn’t say anything.

“See?”

Alicia rolled her eyes.

“Should I go on?”

Alicia smirked. Then she slowly nodded.

“Say it.”

Another eye roll. “Go on.”

“What’s the magic word?”

Alicia exhaled, still smirking at her. “Go on, _please_.”

Raquel grinned. “Alright, if you say so.” She leaned forward as if to kiss her and Alicia came closer too, just before Raquel pulled away and got off the bed. Alicia let her head sink against the wall behind her and sighed. “You’re going to regret this.”

“You think so?” Raquel said and started to unbutton her shirt which got her Alicia’s attention again. “That’s what I thought,” she mumbled.

And off came the shirt, leaving her only in a bra and the black police pants.

Raquel had never performed a striptease, but in the literal sense of the word – teasing – it seemed to work, because Alicia was already getting more impatient, wanting Raquel to undress faster. Raquel took her time though. She even performed some dance moves and for some reason – maybe it was the uniform, maybe it was the fact that shooting practice had been such a success today – she didn’t feel awkward at all. She felt desirable, naked as she was, and as she turned around to look at Alicia, the sentiment was returned in her gaze. After she had stepped out of her panties, Raquel tossed them to the side and turned her attention to Alicia, joining her on the bed again. Alicia gently pulled her towards her in order to kiss her and Raquel lost herself in the gesture. Oh, how soft and warm her lips were, how gentle she was, and yet the right amount of demanding.

“Your turn,” she whispered and gently pulled up the hem of Alicia’s shirt, slowly beginning to undress her.

“I did not think this through,” Raquel mumbled as she had pulled the shirt over Alicia’s head and realised the handcuffs were keeping her from pulling the shirt off Alicia’s right arm.

Alicia chuckled. “No, you didn’t,” she said and Raquel could still feel her smile as Alicia pressed another kiss to her lips. “Leave it there,” Alicia said. Raquel did, and Alicia’s bra quickly followed.

“You’re still okay with this?” Raquel asked.

“Absolutely. It’s actually quite nice not having to do any of the work.”

Raquel grinned and kept on kissing Alicia. She traced a line of kisses from her lips to her neck, following her collarbones down to her breasts. Gently, very gently, she pressed more kisses to Alicia’s soft skin until she finally began to suck and Alicia let out a moan of pleasure. Raquel closed her eyes for a second and continued what she had been doing. They had done this many times before, but each time she was hit anew with the joyful anticipation of touching Alicia, of being allowed to be so close to her, being with her. The experience was familiar and yet it never failed to surprise her. This – this intimate space where there was only them – this was when she felt most connected to Alicia. She looked up for a second and they locked gazes, and she _knew,_ she just _knew,_ Alicia felt the same way. She smiled at her, hoping her expression was able to transmit all the joy she felt internally. She continued tracing Alicia’s body with her kisses, exploring her skin with her lips and slowly wandered downwards until she reached the hem of her jeans.

Raquel looked up to Alicia. “May I?”

“Yes,” Alicia said, the word only a soft whisper.

Raquel unbuttoned her jeans and pulled down the fabric, taking Alicia’s panties with it and tossing both garments next to the pile of Raquel’s clothes.

Raquel proceeded to press light kisses to Alicia’s thighs, slowly making her way upwards. She could feel Alicia shiver beside her and quickly looked up, waiting for permission. When she met her gaze, Alicia’s lips curled upwards, giving Raquel the warmest, most loving smile, her eyes glistening with excitement.

“Go on,” she whispered.

Raquel returned to kissing Alicia’s skin and moved towards where she knew Alicia wanted her, and probably wanted her urgently judging by the rapidness of her breaths. Soon enough, Alicia shifted closer towards Raquel, signalling her to keep on going, and finally, Raquel tentatively closed her lips over Alicia.

They hadn’t done this before, but somehow, Raquel felt comfortable in this new scenario, eager to discover new layers of their relationship and curious to explore every part of Alicia. At first, she tried to be very soft, her tongue barely establishing contact with Alicia’s skin. She paused for a moment, letting the new experience sink in, and realized that she was enjoying herself. She loved being this connected to Alicia, loved tasting her, oh, how beautiful she tasted! Raquel eagerly applied some more pressure and was pleased to feel Alicia shifting beneath her touch now, moving closer to her with every movement of Raquel’s tongue, trying to get as much out of the experience as possible.

“Raquel…”, Alicia suddenly cried out, her hips moving upwards to meet Raquel’s mouth. Raquel’s heart started beating faster, thrilled by Alicia’s strong reaction. Alicia’s fingers grasped the sheets, and as if that weren’t enough, her hand moved to tangle into Raquel’s hair, urging her to intensify the experience. Raquel did and was rewarded with a gasping cry. She couldn’t help but let out a content sigh herself. Eyes closed, Alicia continued to moan, her hips rolling to the rhythm of Raquel’s tongue, and then, finally, the freeing wave of pleasure came over her. Both of them paused for a moment, catching their breaths. Raquel looked up and saw Alicia’s flushed face, the way she still clutched at the sheets with her right hand while clinging to the bedpost with her cuffed hand. She looked so beautiful, Raquel thought, so… graceful, and a deep feeling of admiration for Alicia overcame her. She crawled to the spot next to Alicia who looked at her with a beaming expression.

“Did you like it?” Raquel asked.

“I loved it,” Alicia said and snuggled against her. “I love you.”

Raquel paused, tilting her head to get a proper look at Alicia.

“You love me?”

Alicia gave her a shy smile. “Well… yeah.”

Raquel felt a warm feeling spread through her body, filling her heart with joy. “I love you too,” she said gently.

Raquel leaned forward to kiss her and Alicia did the same. The gesture was so familiar, but now there was something new to it, a profoundness, a sense of intimacy that hadn’t been there before. 

As they parted, a smirk began to form on Alicia’s face. “Or maybe I just said that because you cuffed me to my bed and this is my only chance to escape.”

Raquel laughed and crawled off the bed, picking up the keys.

“You are unbelievable,” she chuckled and opened the lock, freeing Alicia of the handcuffs. “How do you feel now?” she asked, climbing onto her lap.

“Still in love with you,” Alicia whispered against her ear, drawing her closer.

“Thank god,” Raquel said and smiled.

They stayed like that, in a deep embrace, until they fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I will be forever grateful if you leave a comment :)


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